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-Lurid Crime Tales-
'Offensive' bird genitals? Prudish ISIS bans pigeon breeding
2015-06-04
[ENGLISH.ALARABIYA.NET] The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) has reportedly banned pigeon breeding in its self-proclaimed "caliphate" -- areas under its rule in Iraq and Syria.
"No squab for you!"
According to the Daily Mail, a senior ISIS cleric, issued the decree after the group claimed the sight of the birds’ genitals is offensive to Islam.
Zat mean Moslems can't eat anything with genitalia?
In the decree, which was written in Arabic, pigeon breeders were given one week to stop the practice or face public flogging.
"Things without genitalia" kinda narrows the field of edibles, doesn't it?
The short document, which was allegedly made public senior administrators, starts with a warning to locals who keep pigeons on the roof of their houses.
In fact, it'd narrow the field to invertebrates and vegetation.
From my high school biology textbook: "The flower is the genitalia of the plant." They definitely got 'em.
“All those who keep pigeons above the roofs of their houses must stop doing this entirely within a week of the date of the issuing of this statement,' the document read.
I guess they could eat worms, and maybe crickets and that sort of thing. A lobster would probably be pushing the envelope.
Earthworms are hermaphrodites, so have two sets of genitalia each. Those other things have bits that can be found with a small amount of dissection.
“Whosoever violates it will be subject to consequences of reprimand including a financial fine, imprisonment and flogging,” it read.
Mutton would certainly be forbidden, as would lamb.
In January, the group reportedly arrested 15 boys who were rearing birds before executing three of them.
A place where pulled pork barbecue is forbidden is my idea of Hell. No pit beef would be way over there in the fathest corner.
The families of the other boys were obliged to pay as much as $1800 each to secure the release of their children.
Making it up as they go along, to strip more money from the conquered.
Posted by:Fred

#13  How does ISIS feel about cock fights?
Posted by: Airandee   2015-06-04 19:03  

#12  Amen, brother.
Posted by: g(r)omgoru   2015-06-04 14:14  

#11  #10 I hate pigeons. Flying rats.
Posted by: g(r)omgoru 2015-06-04 14:10


In that case, come to one of my adopted hometowns - Akron, OH. Decades ago the city fathers put peregrine falcon nests on the taller buildings, and the birds thrived...on the pigeons. Pretty impressive to see a pigeon getting ready to do something rude on the sidewalk and then literally disappear in a burst of feathers...

Mike
Posted by: Mike Kozlowski   2015-06-04 14:13  

#10  I hate pigeons. Flying rats.
Posted by: g(r)omgoru   2015-06-04 14:10  

#9  "Masturbating to pigeon genitals will make your hands lay eggs in the afterlife."
Posted by: swksvolFF   2015-06-04 11:53  

#8  "Mo had a cloaca"
Posted by: Frank G   2015-06-04 11:42  

#7  Snark and craziness aside, this could be two things:
Disrupting any carrier pigeon networks.

Making the locals more dependent upon ISJV food supply and taxes.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2015-06-04 10:43  

#6  According to the Daily Mail, a senior ISIS cleric, issued the decree after the group claimed the sight of the birds’ genitals is offensive to Islam.

You sure it was a pigeon and not a OhNo bird?
Posted by: Procopius2k   2015-06-04 10:03  

#5  "In fact, it'd narrow the field to invertebrates and vegetation."

Which, if you think about it, pretty much sums up ISIS.

Mike
Posted by: Mike Kozlowski   2015-06-04 07:46  

#4  Yokay, I'll bite, I DON'T RECALL "THE BARON" SAYING "CASTRATE IT" AS ONE OF HIS MANY WAYS TO STOP THE HERO "YANKEE DOODLE PIGEON"???
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2015-06-04 03:02  

#3  But rape is halal. So what about pigeon rape?
Posted by: Daffy Brown4464   2015-06-04 01:53  

#2  "Why so sluggish and sad, nudibranch?
You get double the bang from a wank!"
"You might think that's a perk
But it's twice as much work
When you've got lady parts and a crank."
Posted by: Zenobia Floger6220   2015-06-04 01:51  

#1  His views on pudenda of pigeon
May move infidels to derision,
But rearing is dear to
The prudes that adhere to
Mohammed's stupendous religion!
Posted by: Zenobia Floger6220   2015-06-04 01:42  

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