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| The Grand Turk |
| Introducing â"The President Erdogan Offensive Poetry Competition'" |
| 2016-04-22 |
| A job for Rantburg's Poet Laureate or any potential usurpers. The Bat Signal is lit. Well I'm a free-born British man, and we don't live under the blasphemy laws of such despots. So in honour of this fact I have spent the weekend writing rude limericks about Mr Erdogan. And I would hereby like to invite all readers to join me in a grand Erdogan limerick competition. That isn't to say that entries which come in the form of Iambic pentameters, or heroic couplets will be completely discounted. I think a work in the Homeric mode, for example, about the smallness of Erdogan's manhood could (if suitably disgusting) stand some chance of winning. But I recommend limericks because almost everything insulting that is worth saying can usually be included within the five lines of that beautiful and delicate form. I would also like to stress that the aim of the competition is to be as filthy and insulting as possible about Recep Erdogan. Rhymes with some political point might be considered, but will inevitably take second-place to works which mull (for example) solely on President Erdogan's reputed fondness for goats or his notorious untrustworthiness in the vicinity of any public zoo. |
| Posted by:Betty Hitler2611 |
| #9 Dammit. "Must certainly have" |
| Posted by: Zenobia Floger6220 2016-04-22 22:34 |
| #8 Shit shit shit. Fantastic material lately, a clamoring public (!), and now this... as life events (ptui!) have more or less laid me low. Gut nuthin. FWIW, I've decided to actually work at this a bit as soon as I get some breathing room. That's not to say it'll get better -- I may well disappear up my own ass doing the ancestor's bio as a Pearl parody or something -- but at least it won't be forced, Frankenstein parts bucket junk like... "My Bright green with a scriptural inset, Has certainly hurt you, O goat of great virtue..." At which the goat asked, "Is it in yet?" Maybe try over the weekend if I get some sleep. |
| Posted by: Zenobia Floger6220 2016-04-22 22:13 |
| #7 A wanna-be Calife named Erdy, Said to his camel, "Yer purdy!" Let's go out by the tree, It's shady and free, And you, me and the goat can get flirty. |
| Posted by: SteveS 2016-04-22 21:46 |
| #6 As far as I'm concerned, the best possible was done years ago. |
| Posted by: g(r)omgoru 2016-04-22 16:08 |
| #5 Jan Sobieski gives the finger from the grave Because Merkal shit warbled as slave "Go and arrest my peoples and knock down the steeples so we can pretend that Recep's not gay." |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2016-04-22 14:44 |
| #4 Zenobia.. ths is made for you. Now if you can only make "caliph" rhyme with "putz" |
| Posted by: Elmuper Thronter1062 2016-04-22 14:13 |
| #3 "melons labe" Erdy says While wearing a goat on his head The Capricorn masseuse trying to get its bean goose Would also drive a '69 Dalesbred. |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2016-04-22 12:42 |
| #2 £1000 ($1400) prize for the winner. That got dropped from the headline. |
| Posted by: Betty Hitler2611 2016-04-22 12:08 |
| #1 Like the Mohammed cartoon draw-off, but with words. I like it! |
| Posted by: M. Murcek 2016-04-22 11:10 |