[Babylon Bee] WASHINGTON, D.C.‐Addressing a crowd at a lucrative speaking engagement Tuesday evening, former president Barack Obama slammed President Trump for his "inhumane" use of tear gas at the border earlier this week, pointing out that a drone strike would have done the job much more effectively.Obama ripped into Trump for using tear gas when a simple deadly drone strike would have sufficed.
"Whenever I had a problem with foreigners, I never turned to inhumane methods like tear gas‐instead, I just took 'em out with a well-placed Hellfire II," he said, drawing cheers. "It's a much cleaner, faster method of dealing with non-Americans‐and even the occassional American citizen," he added.
"It's great‐you just call it in and wham, bam, thank you MQ-9 Reaper. No muss, no fuss," he said. He added that while the Border Patrol did use tear gas fairly often during his term in office, it "didn't count" because the media wouldn't cover it.
Obama grinned and winked at his audience, then dropped the microphone.
The crowd then lept to its feet to applaud the "compassionate" ex-commander in chief, weeping and yelling "We miss you!"