[Babylon Bee] WASHINGTON, D.C.‐A feud between former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and President Trump erupted Friday as Tillerson revealed that he constantly had to tell Trump he wasn't able to bomb Wakanda, the fictional African country depicted in the Marvel film Black Panther.Tillerson would calmly explain to Trump that not only did Wakanda have advanced technology that far surpassed that of the United States military, but the country was also entirely made up.
"We'd be sitting in these strategy meetings and Trump would always pipe in with things like, 'I keep coming back to Wakanda. This vibranium could be very huge. Very huge,'" Tillerson said in a rare moment of candor. "And I'd have to say, 'Mr. President, with all due respect, Wakanda isn't a real place.'"
Tillerson claims the president would grow very upset when informed that Wakanda couldn't be bombed because it only existed in Marvel comics, shows, and films. "That isn't thinking like a winner. That's loser thinking. We've gotta go out there and get it. Just get our best people on it, right away," Trump reportedly said when reminded for a third time that week that it was physically impossible for the United States to invade the imaginary land. "I saw a very good documentary about these people over the weekend on Netflix. It looked very real, very official. Not fake news."
At publishing time, Tillerson had also revealed that Trump constantly attempted to send the US military to the fictional Middle Eastern kingdom of Agrabah.