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| Nike Execs Stop Breathing After Kaepernick Points Out Racists In 18th Century Also Breathed |
| 2019-07-06 |
| [Babylon, yes, Bee] BEAVERTON, OR‐All upper management personnel and top executives at Nike's headquarters have, sadly, passed away after they voluntarily stopped breathing. They did this because Colin Kaepernick called their offices in a rage once he discovered they were breathing since racists in the 18th century also breathed. "I thought we understood one another," Kaepernick said before quoting Frederick Douglass out of context in a passioned speech to the entire Nike board. "But then I heard you guys were still breathing. I thought you were better than that. You know who else breathed? Racists like George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Benjamin Franklin." "Honestly, if you want me to endorse your brand the next time I play a pickup game of football at the local park, you're gonna need to cancel your breathing." One exec attempted to protest, but Kaepernick wasn't having it. "I said your breathing is CANCELLED." Realizing they had very little choice, the whole Nike leadership team saluted one another, held their noses, passed out, and died. "Totally worth it," one exec said before the blackness took him. |
| Posted by:Frank G |
| #4 Totally concur. Done with Nike. How many millions do they make on the backs of Vietnamese children? |
| Posted by: anymouse 2019-07-06 21:21 |
| #3 My family will never buy another NIKE product. I just purchased a HOKA at the Bolder Running Company... “As the first running store in the country to offer video gait analysis, Boulder Running Company continues its tradition of raising the expectations of running stores nationwide. We have some of the best trained expert staff, who provide fitness enthusiasts with experiences designed to keep them comfortable and injury-free.” |
| Posted by: Zebulon McGurque8897 2019-07-06 14:30 |
| #2 Kaepernick did pretty well by this country before he joined the "Hate America" crowd and decided to do a self-kneecap. |
| Posted by: JohnQC 2019-07-06 14:03 |
| #1 Kaepernick will be back everytime he feels he's not getting enough attention. If the outrage engines like Hannity, Weasel Zippers, Breitbart and Malkin all just quit steam whistling every time Kaepernick opens his yap he'd be about as relevant as Rachel Dolezal right now. |
| Posted by: M. Murcek 2019-07-06 09:50 |