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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Portland Police: 'We Wish There Were Some Kind Of Organized, Armed Force That Could Fight Back Against Antifa'
2019-08-20
[Babylon Bee] PORTLAND, OR‐In a press release earlier this week, Portland police chief Danielle Outlaw (her actual name), appearing somber and exhausted, said she just wishes there were some kind of group with the firepower and authority to fight back against Antifa.
Our hidden PCE-TC 28 meter indicates all objects in the graphic were stabilized at ambient temperature.
In a candid moment, Outlaw (seriously, her actual name) said there was just nothing the police could do, as they'd need to have some kind of organized, armed force specifically created to protect and serve the people.

"Like, what if we took money from everyone to fund a force that could then defend them in a time of need?" she pondered aloud. "They could have patrol cars, firearms, and attack dogs. Maybe even some tanks. That would be so frickin' rad. They could have a badge to show their authority. Then, when a rogue group like Antifa shows up to take over our city every weekend, they could be repelled using force if necessary."

"I know it sounds crazy, but a girl can dream, right?" she added wistfully.

Sadly, there is no such force in Portland, so citizens have been forced to turn to an even crazier idea: taking responsibility for their own safety and well-being, and maybe even buying a gun to protect themselves.
Posted by:Besoeker

#11  If it's Snopes, you KNOW it's DEM/MSM/Giganto Tech approved
Posted by: Frank G   2019-08-20 20:30  

#10  tw - and it's a good thing Rantburg does that. These days, it can be very hard to distinguish good satire (like from the Bee) and actual news.
Posted by: Rambler in Virginia   2019-08-20 19:32  

#9  This is half the reason why Rantburg identifies the source website in square brackets at the beginning of the article.
Posted by: trailing wife   2019-08-20 19:03  

#8  From NewsBusters:

Snopes calls Babylon Bee ‘Most Shared Factually Inaccurate Content’

Snopes official Twitter tweeted an article titled “Study: Too Many People Think Satirical News Is Real” and wrote that “stories published by The Babylon Bee were among the most shared factually inaccurate content in almost every survey of this research.”

In this August 16 post, they were well aware that Babylon Bee is a satire website but have switched tactics to instead claim satirical news can be dangerous, saying “In a news cycle full of clownish characters and outrageous rhetoric, it’s no wonder satire isn’t fully registering with a lot of readers.”

The Babylon Bee made a formal response to the study in question, saying “From their view, we're just pretenders, using the label "satire" to our advantage so we can hoodwink the masses.” It later added “It's really extraordinary, especially since they've acknowledged in private communication with us that there is a ‘clear distinction’ between our satire and intentionally misleading fake news.”
Posted by: trailing wife   2019-08-20 19:01  

#7  Their satire hits home. Which is why Snopes is trying everything they can to get them thrown off platforms.
Posted by: DarthVader   2019-08-20 14:13  

#6  The Bee just stung me. Thanks Mullah. But I gotta say it is so close to the truth.... And probably has more truth to it the NYT.
Posted by: 49 Pan   2019-08-20 14:03  

#5  The Bee stings because it's closer to the truth than your daily paper or TeeVee...
Posted by: M. Murcek   2019-08-20 13:12  

#4  It's the Bee, folks.

What can ya' do?
Posted by: Mullah Richard   2019-08-20 12:59  

#3  "Just following orders," they were...
Posted by: M. Murcek   2019-08-20 12:52  

#2  I've always been pro law enforcement when they were on the side of good. When they side with the bad on orders from city hall, the picture becomes cloudy...
Posted by: M. Murcek   2019-08-20 12:51  

#1  Your Mayor openly support Antifa over you, so keep dreaming. Send your organized crime unit into action little miss dreamer. Have them disrupt the comms and funding, go after a RICO charge to get fed funding, and all of the Antifa warriors will go back to their mommy's basements and play video games..
Posted by: 49 Pan   2019-08-20 12:46  

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