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Home Front: Politix
Governor Newsom Orders Ballots To Be Sent To Every Cemetery In State
2020-05-18
[Babylon Bee] SACRAMENTO, CA—To prepare for the upcoming November election, Governor Gavin Newsom has ordered ballots to be sent to every cemetery in the state.

The governor of California said that ballot boxes would be sent to cemeteries across the state to ensure everyone had the right to vote, dead or alive.

"We need every single Californian to vote, living or dead," Newsom said, wagging his finger. "Without everyone doing their part, no matter their undocumented living status, we can't beat the Republicans this time around. It's science!" When he said the word "science," he lifted a test tube into the air to lend some credence to his claims.

Newsom said that people who don't want the dead to vote are discriminating against the "mortally challenged."
Posted by:Besoeker

#7  Lot of kids haven't heard the classics; or haven't experienced the context of the joke.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2020-05-18 18:02  

#6  I knew this was BS when there was no mention of having the cemeteries' ballots harvested by trustworthy party members.
Posted by: charger   2020-05-18 15:56  

#5  To Bee or not to Bee, that is the question. And with Newsom you never know.

I did not lose $1 on this one because I did not bet. I work too hard for my money and I don't like losing it.
Posted by: Abu Uluque   2020-05-18 12:14  

#4  Too obvious this time Bee but frighteningly close to the truth.
Posted by: JohnQC   2020-05-18 09:33  

#3  Who knew the Bee was actually covering real news.
Posted by: Woodrow   2020-05-18 09:25  

#2  Babylon Bee for beginners.
Posted by: Besoeker   2020-05-18 09:14  

#1  Up $1. Impossible to parody the Pomaded One.
Posted by: Lex   2020-05-18 09:10  

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