[NYPOST] A tiny English village was anything but the picture of peace and quiet Saturday when one of its elderly denizens was found dead.I've never really been a Miss Marple fan...
Cops launched a murder investigation after being called to a home in the town of Mullion, in Cornwall, to find a woman in her 80s fatally injured, according to reports.
"She's dead, Jim!"
"Ha! She's only mostly dead! There's a difference! [KNOCK KNOCK!] Hey! You in there! What's the most important thing in the world to you?"
"True... [gurgle]... rosebud!"
"She's dead, Jim."
"Yeah. She's dead, Jim!"
While little information has been made public, authorities have already zeroed in on a suspect: an octogenarian from a nearby village, according to the UK Sun.
"Uncle Mortimer! How could you?"
Police nabbed the 84-year-old man, who lives just eight miles away, on suspicion of murder shortly after discovering the victim, who has not been publicly identified.
"If I can't have her no one can have her!"
An investigation is underway.