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| -Land of the Free |
| Zelensky Makes Common-Sense Plea To Start WWIII |
| 2022-03-17 |
| [BabylonBee] In an emotional plea before Congress today, Ukrainian president Zalinsky made a common-sense request for America to institute a no-fly zone and start WWIII. "Please," said Zelensky through a translator. "This shouldn't be that hard. All I'm asking for is for an all-out war between the nuclear powers of Russia, America, and China. It's that easy! What's there to even think about here?" According to sources, most members of Congress weren't entirely convinced until Zelensky whipped out his guitar and sang a lovely Ukrainian ballad, causing the many of the politicians in the room to squeal and swoon with delight. As the lovely song sung by the dreamy Ukrainian leader progressed, Nancy Pelosi began chanting "WORLD WAR THREE! WORLD WAR THREE!" The chant spread throughout the room as the rest of Congress began pumping their fists and shouting "WORLD WAR THREE! WORLD WAR THREE! WORLD WAR THREE!" Witnesses reported that a gaggle of lobbyists from Lockheed Martin and General Dynamics were later seen high-fiving in the back of the room. This woman is an angry feminist -- but she's quickly changing her tune as World War 3 starts and she faces the possibility of getting drafted. |
| Posted by:Ebbealet Pholusing4049 |
| #17 The more I read about Tony Blair, the more I hate his f**king guts. We should airdrop Blair into Kiev |
| Posted by: Angusosh Angeck6167 2022-03-17 16:18 |
| #16 Isn't that supposed to be WW 111!!11!!!1? Tiktok Influencers. The ! probably means To Nay Nay or some shit. |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2022-03-17 15:51 |
| #15 The more I read about Tony Blair, the more I hate his f**king guts. |
| Posted by: DooDahMan 2022-03-17 12:40 |
| #14 Isn't that supposed to be WW 111!!11!!!1? |
| Posted by: M. Murcek 2022-03-17 12:32 |
| #13 You're losing the Tiktok Influencer crowd Lord Garth; WW11111. |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2022-03-17 12:09 |
| #12 "Tony Blair understandably wants to help start World War III — a catastrophe so big, it’ll erase the memory of the blunder in Iraq. Maybe literally erase the whole world." |
| Posted by: Jack Scourge of the Nebraskans4569 2022-03-17 12:09 |
| #11 And right on time, Tony Blair calls for World War III |
| Posted by: Phosh Snomosh2892 2022-03-17 12:06 |
| #10 World War V? I saw a movie that suggested we'd already gotten to World War Z. |
| Posted by: ruprecht 2022-03-17 11:18 |
| #9 I thought WWV is where you go to find out what time it is... |
| Posted by: M. Murcek 2022-03-17 10:19 |
| #8 actually this would be WW V WW III was the cold war WW IV is the ongoing Jihad by islamists |
| Posted by: Lord Garth 2022-03-17 10:18 |
| #7 I think we missed a turn. Those young fellas that run that Bee should be running the country. |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2022-03-17 08:02 |
| #6 ...the Bee is usually ahead of the story line. Tomorrow's News Today. |
| Posted by: Procopius2k 2022-03-17 07:59 |
| #5 Jesus Christ... he really did tell Lester Holt that we're already in WWIII and we're supposed to intervene in Russia and Ukraine's war. Life imitates satire |
| Posted by: Thonter Cleart4828 2022-03-17 07:33 |
| #4 Washington's Military Industrial Complex has become something of an economic dialysis since the end of WWII. Stop going to treatments, and you will surely die. |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2022-03-17 07:10 |
| #3 Actually it's not satire. Dude was interviewed on MBC News and actually said if we don't escalate and save his bacon, then we're just denying that World War III has "already started." Yeah, he actually said that. He's out of control |
| Posted by: Herb Omatle2080 2022-03-17 06:35 |
| #2 Well done Babylon Bee! |
| Posted by: Cthulhu of Ryleh 2022-03-17 06:12 |
| #1 Nancy Pelosi began chanting "WORLD WAR THREE! WORLD WAR THREE!" They need to remake Strangelove with that old c*nt in the Slim Pickens role |
| Posted by: Blossom Johnson2495 2022-03-17 05:59 |