A bit of "inside baseball" on German politics.
Note that the reference to a cook in a government post is a reference to Lenin's saying that he wanted the Soviet government to be simple enough, even a cook could operate it.
by Gregor Spitzen
[REGNUM] A week ago, German politicians from the CDU/CSU presented their ministers for the new cabinet, and on May 5, their coalition partners followed suit. And now the list of candidates for the new federal cabinet has been finalized.
The SPD's agreed candidates included more women than men, and the party replaced all of its previous cabinet members, with the exception of Defense Minister Boris Pistorius. The CDU/CSU candidates also had some surprises.
WAITED FOR IT. FEDERAL CHANCELLOR FRIEDRICH MERZ (CDU)
A fairly elderly chancellor, 69 years old (the tenth oldest of all members of the German Bundestag of the current convocation), who has been “walking towards success” for a long time. He had it all in his biography: a parliamentary mandate, lost elections, leaving politics for business, and returning.
There was also a loss in the party elections for the post of head of the CDU to Angela Merkel's failed successor, Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer... And now, finally, at the age of seventy, Merz is ready to receive the highest administrative post in Germany.
On May 6, the Bundestag voted to approve it on the second attempt, and analysts are inclined to think that the deputies' main motivation was to "get on their nerves."
In fact, the appointment to the post of head of government of a person who has not previously been a federal minister, nor a minister-president of a federal state, nor even a mayor of one of the cities, raises many legitimate questions.
And the main one is: how can someone who does not have any relevant experience in the field of public administration rule a huge country?
Moreover, the new chancellor faces many domestic and foreign policy challenges.
The country's economy is sinking into the depths of recession, the pace of its deindustrialization continues to skyrocket, and the migration problem remains far from a constructive solution.
And to top it all off, there is an armed conflict raging on the EU's borders, in which Germany has chosen a side. It has already cost it €45 billion in war money, with no end in sight.
To top it all off, Merz begins his term with a very negative background: political opponents and many voters accuse him of deceiving the electorate during the election campaign.
Just two weeks before the Bundestag elections, he adhered to the principles of strict budgetary austerity, but as soon as he won, he abruptly changed his position by 180°, intending to increase the national debt by as much as €800 billion.
THE LOSER'S REWARD: FINANCE MINISTER AND VICE CHANCELLOR LARS KLINGBEIL (SPD)
The SPD leader, who led his 150-year-old party to its worst ever election result of 16.4%, was rewarded with a nomination for the post of vice-chancellor and finance minister.
Klingbeil, 47, is considered a charismatic leader, but his main weakness is exactly the same as that of his formal boss Merz: a lack of experience in public administration.
With all due respect to Klingbeil's achievements as the chief party apparatchik of the Social Democrats, one cannot go far on the experience of behind-the-scenes party struggle alone. He will have to gain experience on the job.
Considering that he will be entrusted with an extremely important direction - managing the finances of the largest economy in the European Union, such an appointment cannot but cause concern among Germans. Especially since the Social Democrats have always been famous for their unbridled social spending, which Germany now simply cannot afford.
THEY WILL SQUEEZE AND CUT. FOREIGN MINISTER JOHANN WADEPHUL (CDU)
He is one of the politicians in the CDU/CSU who advocates a rethinking of the situation with the Alternative for Germany, a very popular party that is now considered extremist.
In April, he advocated giving members of the pariah party important committee posts "as long as they have not attracted negative attention in the past." This position is controversial even within his own party, and Wadephul is disliked by opponents in other mainstream parties and some supporters.
For many years, he was responsible for foreign affairs, defense and the Council of Europe as deputy leader of the parliamentary group. Yes, this is partly relevant experience for the head of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, but experience in the legislative and executive spheres are still slightly different concepts.
The powers of the Foreign Ministry and its head in the current cabinet will be limited: Friedrich Merz intends to create a National Security Council in his own office.
The Council will focus many foreign policy processes on the figure of the Chancellor, leaving the relevant minister out of work in many important areas.
Naturally, Wadephul is not thrilled by the potential second role, especially since the head of the Foreign Ministry has always been considered the third person in the government after the chancellor and vice chancellor.
However, the new minister has his predecessor Annalena Baerbock to thank for this, who constantly tried to show independence in office and ignored the position of Chancellor Olaf Scholz. So Merz simply wisely wants to protect himself from such surprises.
Russian readers will probably remember Johann Wadephul from the prank by Vovan and Lexus, where the future minister showed off his foreign policy revelations and undisguised Russophobia.
YOU WON'T ENVY HIM. INTERIOR MINISTER ALEXANDER DOBRINDT (CSU)
One can only sympathize with Alexander Dobrindt, the 54-year-old head of the CSU parliamentary group, since there is hardly a more thankless job in the current cabinet than the post of interior minister.
Germany is currently facing a huge problem of uncontrolled migration and sky-high crime rates; especially many offenders with a migration background. It is clear that the time has come to take painful but necessary decisions in this direction.
However, Dobrindt's hands will be tied by the coalition agreement: the Social Democrats, famous for their overly humane attitude towards migration issues, will simply not allow him to take tough measures.
So Dobrindt will have to become a master of compromise, trying to please both his party mates and coalition partners in the dangerous parliamentary business. And compromise is a situation where everyone leaves the negotiating table dissatisfied.
Dobrindt is another person in the cabinet who has made an exclusively party career. However, he has one undoubted advantage - he is not Nancy Feather (the outgoing Interior Minister), about whose professional suitability there were huge questions.
FALLEN UNDER THE SPELL OF THE GRAVEDIGGER. MINISTER OF ECONOMICS KATERINA REICHE (CDU)
The 51-year-old chemist was a member of the Bundestag from 1998 to 2015, also serving as state secretary at the Environment Ministry and the Transport Ministry.
She then moved into business, first as Managing Director of the Association of Municipal Enterprises and, since 2019, as a manager in the energy sector, heading up energy giant E.ON's subsidiary Westenergie.
This appointment raises legitimate questions in terms of conflicts of interest and suspicions of what is loosely called “lobbying” in the US.
However, Reiche has no shortage of professionalism: former employees describe their boss as a tough and effective professional who achieved her position thanks to her personal abilities, and not distribution according to gender quotas.
There is only one fact that does not speak in Reiche's favor - promiscuity in personal relationships. Literally a week ago, she announced her relationship with Karl Theodor zu Guttenberg.
This blue-blooded former defense minister in the Merkel government (the prefix "zu" in German-speaking countries means belonging to a princely family) became famous for being one of the army's gravediggers and greatly contributed to its transformation from a somewhat combat-ready force into a ceremonial facade.
The former minister is also widely known for having been caught plagiarizing his doctoral dissertation and being forced to resign in disgrace.
Now Guttenberg is back in Germany after a long life as a sinecure in the United States. He is now doing what he loved to do when he was in charge of the Defense Ministry: posing for TV cameras and dispensing advice of immeasurable intellectual depth.
POPULAR FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON. DEFENSE MINISTER BORIS PISTORIUS (SPD)
Germany's most popular politician, 65-year-old Pistorius, is expected to retain his post as head of the military department.
True, it is not entirely clear for what merits he has been invested with such high confidence. With his arrival, the Bundeswehr has become only slightly more combat-ready than under his trio of predecessors, and among combat officers there is undisguised skepticism towards Pistorius.
However, he, like Interior Minister Dobrindt, has one undoubted and extremely important advantage: he is not Christina Lambrecht, not Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer, not Ursula von der Leyen, and not even the above-mentioned Guttenberg. And therefore, in contrast to these individuals who once headed the ministry, he looks more dignified.
A QUIET, SPENDTHRIFT WOMAN. MINISTER OF LABOUR AND SOCIAL AFFAIRS BÄRBEL BAs (SPD)
Bass was out of the public eye for a long time, although she served as secretary of the SPD parliamentary group for many years. She then became known as a good parliamentary chairwoman.
However, it is not entirely clear what to expect from another candidate with no executive experience in such a position.
The SPD's special interest has always been social issues. Together with her fellow party member, Finance Minister Klingbeil, Bass is quite capable of emptying the state coffers to solve social issues.
High social spending is not always a bad thing. Voters only want these actions to actually benefit Germany and ensure the fundamental interests of the people.
PRO. JUSTICE MINISTER STEFANIE HUBIG (SPD)
Hubig, 56, was a judge before entering politics, meaning she meets the basic requirements for the post of federal justice minister.
Prior to her appointment, she had worked in senior positions in the justice sector at both the regional and federal levels.
She is perhaps one of the few candidates for minister who came to politics from the professional sphere, where she made a successful career, not limiting herself to experience in the apparatus struggle in her party.
SUPER PRO. DIGITAL MINISTER CARSTEN WILDBERGER (CDU)
Wildberger came to politics from science and "the market." The 55-year-old minister is a doctor of physical sciences in the field of solid state physics.
He first worked as a management consultant, then as a manager of telecommunications companies, in between as a board member of an energy giant, and finally became the head of the Media Markt-Saturn chain of stores, Europe's largest retailer of electronics and household appliances.
A cabinet member who is truly “self-made” and knows what it is like to work “on the ground,” unlike some of the Berlin celestials.
"EIFFEL TOWER" WITH 500 BILLION. TRANSPORT MINISTER PATRICK SCHNYDER (CDU)
From 2009 to 2021, 57-year-old Schnyder was a member of the parliamentary committee on transport and digital infrastructure. He also has experience as a mayor: from 1999 to 2009, he headed the municipality of Arzfeld in the Eifel district of Bitburg-Prüm in the state of Rhineland-Palatinate.
In his new post, Schnyder will play a key role in implementing the country's massive infrastructure fund. Much of the €500 billion special fund is likely to be spent on upgrading the country's dilapidated bridges and rail network.
Previous governments did not invest in them, preferring to spend money on social projects such as providing the multi-million army of refugees with the generous benefits of the German social system and financing the notorious “green transition”.
However, Schnider is notable not only for his professional abilities. He is taller than his bosses Friedrich Merz (1.98 m) and Lars Klingbeil (1.96 m), as well as Bavarian Minister-President Markus Söder (1.94 m), as he is 2.02 meters tall.
Considering that the politician hails from the Eifel region, it was only natural that he would be nicknamed the Eiffel Tower in the corridors of the Bundestag.
OUT OF PLACE. ENVIRONMENT MINISTER CARSTEN SCHNEIDER (SPD)
Schneider, 49, has been a member of the Bundestag since 1998. Starting out as a banker at the Volksbank Erfurt, he was a spokesman for the parliamentary group on budget policy.
He then became its first parliamentary director, and later a minister of state under the chancellor and representative of the federal government in East Germany.
A professional financier like Schneider would have been more appropriate for the all-important post of finance minister than a party apparatchik like Lars Klingbeil. However, it is hardly surprising that in modern Germany, political expediency is often preferred over professional skills when making an appointment.
HAS A MORAL COMPASS. MINISTER FOR FAMILY AFFAIRS AND EDUCATION KARIN PRIEN (CDU)
Prien was born in 1965 in Amsterdam, where her Jewish maternal grandparents fled the Nazis in the 1930s. The family later moved to Germany. Prien joined the CDU in 1981.
36 years later, she became the education minister of Schleswig-Holstein and became famous for speaking out against the "gender" changes, which outraged her coalition partners in the Green Party.
Prien is an experienced lawyer and has worked as an independent attorney for a long time. She has been a member of the Federal Executive Committee of the CDU since 2021 and is also the chairwoman of the CDU Jewish Forum.
Many voters believe that Prien was not afraid to speak out against the notorious "gender agenda", although she knew that she would be attacked. Therefore, they believe that this candidate is a very worthy lady with a clearly functioning moral compass. Exactly what the modern German family and the education sector of the FRG need.
KNOWS ALL ABOUT CABBAGE AND SAUSAGES. HOUSING AND CONSTRUCTION MINISTER VERENA HUBERTZ (SPD)
The 37-year-old cabinet candidate rose to fame in 2014 when she founded Kitchen Stories, an app that shows people how to cook simply and enjoyably. It was in the kitchen that she perhaps found her true calling: in 2017, she received a visit from Tim Cook himself.
| That’s Apple CEO Tim Cook. Not long thereafter she sold her company to Bosch Appliances. |
SCREAMING IN THE STANDS. RESEARCH AND SPACE MINISTER DOROTHEA BAER (CSU)
With a short break, she has been a member of the German Bundestag since 2002, that is, for almost 23 years. This is quite remarkable, considering that she is only 47 years old. In other words, Frau Baer has worked in the Bundestag almost her entire life, without having spent a single day in a “normal” job.
Baer made her parliamentary career thoughtfully and unhurriedly, gradually rising up the hierarchical ladder of parliamentary committees.
From 2018 to 2021, she was Minister of State to the Federal Chancellor and Federal Government Commissioner for Digitalization. Most recently, she was responsible for family, senior citizens, women, youth, culture and media issues in the CDU/CSU.
Also noteworthy is the fact that Dorothea Bär is an active football fan and functionary, being a member of the administrative advisory board of the football club Bayern.
THE GREY MOUSE OF POLITICS. HEALTH MINISTER NINA WARKEN (CDU)
45-year-old lawyer Warken has been a member of the German Bundestag since 2013. She has served on several parliamentary committees, but she has not yet been remembered for anything particularly outstanding in the Bundestag.
However, this candidate is against lowering the voting age to 16, which already speaks of her as a relatively reasonable politician.
PROFESSIONAL CALF KILLER. AGRICULTURE MINISTER ALOIS RAINER (CSU)
Perhaps the most ideal candidate, brilliantly suited to his purpose, is the only member of the future cabinet who holds a certificate as a professional butcher.
More than 20 years ago, Rainer and his colleague formed a veal sausage 825 meters long – at that time the longest in the world. So German farmers respectfully look at the politician as “one of their own.”
THE BOXER WHO OUTSMARTED HER ELDERS. MINISTER OF ECONOMIC COOPERATION AND DEVELOPMENT RIM ALABALI-RADOVAN (SPD)
Alabali-Radovan, 35, has made a meteoric rise in the Social Democratic Party. Having only joined at the beginning of 2021, she was appointed Minister of State for Migration, Refugees and Integration in December.
In 2022, she also took over the newly created position of Federal Commissioner for Combating Racism. Quite a lot of positions with relatively little public visibility.
The new candidate for minister with a migration background is also famous for being a bit of a boxer, albeit at an amateur level. In any case, Alabali-Radovan knows how to stand up for herself.
Previously, this ministerial post was tipped for the seasoned SPD party functionary and one of the party leaders, Saskia Esken. However, in the party corridors, it was apparently decided that it was necessary to make way for the young. Esken, however, did not understand this argument and was very upset.
THE FOX IN THE HENHOUSE. MINISTER FOR CULTURE AND THE MEDIA WOLFRAM WEIMER (CDU)
The decision to nominate Weimer came as a big surprise. The 60-year-old ministerial candidate is the publisher of the Weimer Media Group, which publishes Business Punk, The European and Wirtschaftskurier.
Before that, he was editor-in-chief of Die Welt and then founder and editor-in-chief of Cicero magazine.
This decision was widely criticized by cultural professionals, with many accusations that it was unacceptable to "let the fox into the henhouse" when appointing someone to such a responsible post.
In any case, Weimer is already the second candidate for the Merz government whose appointment raises questions in terms of conflict of interest.
THE TSAR'S CHAMBERLAIN. CHANCELLERY MINISTER THORSTEN FREY (CDU)
Frey is one candidate who has actual government experience, although not at the federal or state level. He was Lord Mayor of Donaueschingen from 2004 to 2013.
Since the end of 2021, the 51-year-old MP has been the first parliamentary secretary of the CDU/CSU parliamentary group in the Bundestag and has therefore always been on the side of Friedrich Merz.
His appointment to the ministerial position closest to the Chancellor shows who will be the main one with “access to the body” of the Federal Chancellor and who will provide the bulk of the administrative work in the government.
NOT A MINISTER, BUT ALSO A RUSSOPHOBE. GOVERNMENT PRESS SECRETARY STEFAN CORNELIUS
And another important point: the new press secretary of the government will be the former political editor of the influential newspaper Süddeutsche Zeitung, Stefan Cornelius a journalist known for his extreme Russophobia.
However, at the same time he is a top-class professional, which means the public will have to miss the pearls of the previous press secretary Stefan Hebestreit.