[Bee] ST LOUIS, MO — As beer sales continue to plunge in the wake of Bud Light's partnership with trans activist Dylan Mulvaney, Anheuser-Busch CEO Brendan Whitworth released a statement to entice customers to start buying Bud Light products again.
"Wow, all this woke stuff is pretty dumb, am I right, fellas?" said Whitworth, chuckling nervously into the camera. "And this LGBT stuff? Dang! Talk about gay! Go woke, go broke, I always say. Diversity is our strength! Um, I mean, I love America! What do you people want me to say again?"
"Please buy our beer," said the embattled CEO finally before breaking down in sobs.
Sources within the company confirmed that execs have been desperately working on damage control since the Mulvaney incident. "We need to make sure people know we're still the iconic American brand they know and love while still reaching out as allies to the LGBTQ+ activists so they don't dock our Corporate Inclusion Index score," said VP Seth Hawkins while shotgunning a beer and releasing a bald eagle for the cameras. "Please don't murder me, trans activists! I have kids!"
At publishing time, the company announced they had promoted their VP of Marketing Alissa Heinerscheid to President of Office Janitorial Services
Posted by: Frank G ||
04/18/2023 07:27 ||
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#1
They should bring back the Clydesdale commercials, but with furries.
#7
Fair loss; not far from what really happened. I liked the part where they made him out to be a Dude's Dude - and everyone is like Then How'd You Get So Easily Tricked?
Along the lines, I hope I can come across one of those I'm A Preachy Environmentalist CUNT t-shirts before they get shelved and donated to rural Africa.
#8
In fairness, I ALWAYS post [Bee] notification, because satire is just a couple weeks ahead of reality's stupidity
Posted by: Frank G ||
04/18/2023 20:00 Comments ||
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#9
I blame Evelyn Wood. Plus: “We live in an age when it is no longer possible to be funny. There is nothing you can imagine, no matter how ludicrous, that will not promptly be enacted before your very eyes, probably by someone well known.”
– Malcolm Muggeridge
[New With Views] Warning: A graphic photo in this column.
When the news broke last week about a 21-year-old National Guard member allegedly leaking classified documents — not just leaking but posting to something called a chat app for months, I was flabbergasted. Something didn’t smell right. How could such a thing happen?
When I went to work for DoD in Northern California, I had a secret security clearance. When I went to work at Peterson AFB, Air Force Space Command NORAD (after I became a federal whistleblower and was transferred to contracting) a serious background investigation was done to elevate my clearance. One of my contracts was inside Cheyenne Mountain (Colorado Springs, CO) and a few at another Air Base which required I had a Retina scan in order to get on the base every visit as some of the R & D for Reagan’s "Star Wars" Initiative was housed there. I do know a bit about security clearances.
Leaker of classified US intelligence works on military base, posted the documents on Discord: report, April 13, 2023 — "The person behind a major leak of secret U.S. intelligence documents is reportedly a man in his 20s who worked on a military base and shared the classified information on the chat app Discord.
"The details were revealed in an explosive new report from the Washington Post on Wednesday. The outlet reportedly spoke to a fellow member of the chat group the leaker ran on Discord. The Post’s teenage source claimed he knew the leaker’s real name and where he lived but said he would not help authorities locate him.
"The source told the Post that the leaker ran a Discord group called "Thug Shaker Central," and identified himself only as "OG." Interesting piece.
#1
“Until I saw the document labeled, CIA Operations Center Intelligence Update, I was inclined to believe that the leaked documents were the work of a frustrated whistleblower. But I have changed my mind. This looks like a controlled, directed leak by individuals who manipulated the 21-year-old National Guard troop member into taking certain documents and posting them on a public server.
No mention of post-arrest polygraph, Why ?
His on-line activities, classified document violations and criminal activity may have been under investigation for some time. Additional classified documents containing critical Ukraine data 'could' have intentionally been placed in his path.
"Manipulated" or unwitting classified document host, you decide.
#4
There seems to be quite a bit that doesn't altogether compute about the released details.
Then again the CIA/DOD have pre-disastered the battle space with imbecility. Given the governments latest fad and fascination with trannies and wokeness who could possibly know about chain of custody.
On another note, Ivan has upped his game in terms of stooges esthetically anyway since they bagged the Red ideology.
Posted by: M. Murcek ||
04/18/2023 7:57 Comments ||
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#6
Still wondering if this kid was handed a stack of documents from his senior to shred after some conference.
Took a quick look, thought "hey dude, these would be so cool to show my MMORPG buddies", and proceeded to do so.
Posted by: Mullah Richard ||
04/18/2023 8:19 Comments ||
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#7
#6 Still wondering if this kid was handed a stack of documents from his senior to shred after some conference.
The likeliest explanation, IMHO. Everything else has too many moving parts.
Then again the CIA/DOD have pre-disastered the battle space with imbecility.
A snarky snark! And another argument against complex plans.
#8
The Texas Bank Robbers' Credo: "Plan's just a list of things ain't gonna happen..."
Posted by: M. Murcek ||
04/18/2023 12:35 Comments ||
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#9
This POS FORMER E-7, has an NJP (Captain’s Mast; Office Hours for you non-squids). Lost 2 stripes and guessing that she didn’t quit Navy, but got booted with a BCD parting gift; so spreading classified info might just have been her revenge.
Her former command, Fleet Readiness is what used to be known as AIMD; Aircraft Intermediate Maintenance Department.
[Jpost] From 2020-2021, the IDF conducted an analysis of combat positions for women, a follow-up to a previous study. Can they play men's sports?
The integration of female soldiers into Israel’s combat infantry units, some elite Special Forces and certain armored units has been postponed due to the physiological difference between men and women, the IDF told the High Court of Justice on Monday in response to petitions by women seeking to join Special Forces.
The IDF has conducted several pilot programs for the integration of women in combat positions, upon which it said the military often bases its decisions. From 2020-2021, it conducted an analysis of combat positions for women, a follow-up to a previous study that determined there was a low probability for women being able to fulfill the physical requirements of certain units, such as armored and heavy infantry. The IDF is conducting further analysis and review of the issue.
The ability to carry heavy weight, in particular being repeatedly burdened with heavy backpacks for long distances, subjected women to a significantly greater risk of injury than men, the IDF said.
WHICH IDF COMBAT UNITS CAN WOMEN JOIN?
The analysis found that some less weight-intensive combat roles within the infantry brigades, such as in certain mortar teams, could be met by dozens of female candidates each year.
The IDF does expect that more elite units would be made available to women, based upon physiological criteria.
In March, the selection process for the 669 Search and Rescue and Yahalom Combat Engineering Corps were opened to women, with 12 of them being recruited for the latter. This program would continue as planned, according to the IDF’s court filing. A November draft would see two teams of 15 female soldiers enter the screening process. The first female recruits for 669 were expected for the December draft.
The petitions to the High Court were filed by a candidate in the pilots’ course who dropped out in 2020 and later became an officer in a classified air force position. However, she requested that she be allowed to apply for a Special Forces unit. The IAF pilots’ course is a prestigious program, and while most do not complete the lengthy process, those who drop out of it are often assigned to other elite units.
Meanwhile, back at the courthouse:
IDF tells High Court it will reevaluate some parts of plan to open units to women
[IsraelTimes] The State Attorney’s Office has issued a response on behalf of the Israel Defense Forces over an ongoing appeal to the High Court over apparent gender inequality in military units.
The response details a series of moves the IDF has carried out over the past year to enable women to serve in some elite units that had been previously closed off to them.
The IDF says it will continue a pilot program of female soldiers in the elite Unit 669, the Air Force’s elite helicopter-borne search and rescue unit, and Yahalom, an elite combat engineering unit.
The first female soldiers in Unit 669 will draft in November. Twelve female soldiers were drafted to Yahalom this past March, and will undergo a lengthy training period. More female soldiers are expected to draft to Yahalom in November.
The IDF meanwhile says it is delaying a plan to allow women to serve as drivers in an infantry brigade. The initial plan — which had few details and no expected start date, and the specific infantry brigade was not chosen — will be reevaluated, the IDF says.
Similarly, the IDF says it is delaying and reevaluating plans to possibly include female soldiers in the Armored Corps. This plan also had no specific details when it was initially discussed by the IDF.
Female soldiers will continue to serve in a tank unit in the Caracal mixed-gender light infantry battalion, which is stationed on the border with Egypt.
Posted by: Whiskey Mike ||
04/18/2023 12:52 Comments ||
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#7
they have 'skin in the game' with unrelenting threats around them that have been trying to destroy them since 1948.
Which is why they cannot afford to indulge in gender-related silliness. Like the man said, "The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong. But it is a good way to bet".
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.