China may be giving striptease funerals the last rites after officials arrested five people and ordered an end to the practise, state media said.
If I can't have strippers at my funeral, I ain't goin'.
Strip shows have been commonly used to attract more mourners to funerals, as villagers believe a crowded send-off brings more honor to the deceased, Xinhua news agency said.
"Didja go to Wong's funeral?"
"Yeah. Great honkers!"
But police took action after state television exposed the "obscene performances" at a funeral in Donghai county, Jiangsu province, with 200 people including children in attendance, it said. "When the performance reached a climax, two performers started stripping and to show their charm. They even dragged audiences onto the stage to join them," Beijing News said, citing the television report.
Despite our best efforts, the human mortality rate remains at 100 percent. Since we're all going to eventually end up in the same condition, why not pause periodically along the way to admire a nice set of honkers or a finely formed butt?
Wealthier families in villages often employ two troupes of performers to try to draw a crowd at the funerals of their loved ones.
"Coming to old man Wu's funeral? They're having the Soo Chow Strip Team!"
"I'll be there, with my binoculars!"
After the television report, the local government quickly issued an order to stop the practice and demanded that village committees have to report details of each funeral plan within 12 hours after a villager dies.
[Knock knock!]
"Funeral police! Open up!"
"There's nobody here!"
"Kick the door in, Sergeant Chin!"
[KEE-RASH!]
"Ahah! Are these pasties?"
A hotline was also set up for residents to report on "funeral misdeeds," it said.
"Hello? Is this the titty hotline?"
The funeral striptease is also a popular custom in parts of Taiwan.
Posted by: Fred ||
08/26/2006 10:20 ||
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Arizona seniors had no idea what the flourishing plant they nurtured in their driveway was until a passing deputy told them it was marijuana.
"Agatha! It's the cops!"
"Quick, Ezra! Hide the stash and look stoopid!"
A Yavapai County sheriff's department said a deputy spotted the blooming 5-foot-tall marijuana plant growing in the driveway of a retirement community near Prescott, midweek.
"Nice plant y'got there, Gramps!"
"We like it. What's it to ya, sonny?"
"The residents just thought it was a pretty weed and so they decided to nurture it," department spokeswoman Susan Quayle told Reuters by telephone.
"Hazel, don't forget to pick up some more Miracle Grow for the marahoochie plant!"
The officer yanked out the plant, which Quayle said was either "self-seeded or could have been dropped by a grandchild visiting the community."
"Oh, Gawd! Don't look, Agatha!"
"No citations were issued. The officer just educated them," she said.
"Is he gone yet?"
Posted by: Fred ||
08/26/2006 00:00 ||
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#6
And a happy band of brothers they were. Especially if they served in the GAR wearing clothes made by GW. Their combat vehicles were probably called Streakers.
A fire gutted a 19th century cathedral in the heart of Russia's second city on Friday, destroying its famous azure domes which attract thousands of tourists every year. As flames leapt from the main dome of the Troitsky (Trinity) Cathedral -- one of the largest wooden domes in Europe -- passers-by helped to rescue priceless artefacts from its renowned art and religious icon collection. "The fire services don't have long enough ladders to reach the top of the dome. They have been aiming their water guns at the middle section," Reuters photographer Alexander Demyanchuk said by telephone from outside the cathedral.
The cathedral had been covered by wooden scaffolding during reconstruction work when the fire started. "The main dome has been destroyed but we could not stop the fire because it was so high and now other domes are in flames," a spokesman for Russia's emergencies ministry told Interfax news agency. Emergency services said there had been no casualties.
AUSTRALIA'S eighth and final Anzac frigate built under a plan to upgrade the Royal Australian Navy was commissioned today. HMAS Perth was commissioned at Fremantle this morning and will be deployed within Australian waters and overseas. She is the third RAN ship to bear that name.
"We are extremely proud to join the ranks of Australia's fighting elite and will fulfil our duties in the tradition of those who served on Perth I and II before us", Commander Simon Gregg said.
HMAS Perth was the 10th Anzac frigate built at Tenix's Melbourne shipyard as part of a $7 billion, 17-year project. Tenix built eight Anzac frigates for the Australian navy and two for New Zealand's navy, handing HMAS Perth over to the RAN in June.
Anzacs are 3600 tonne long-range escorts capable of countering simultaneous threats from the air, surface and underwater. They are fitted with radars, omni-directional hull mounted sonar and torpedoes. The ships can travel at speeds faster than 27 knots and have an operational range of more than 6000 nautical miles.
Several other Anzac frigates have been deployed in the Persian Gulf as part of Australia's defence activities in the region.
#1
Despite some of New Zealand's chiropterae lunae tendencies, I'm still quite happy to see that ANZAC has kept stride with NATO in terms of longevity.
#2
Oddly enough, the Australians could become a major naval power with just a single ship, and old technology at that. A battleship.
That is, thick-hulled with modern heavy armor, and bearing Yamato-class-style 18" guns. Impervious to most naval anti-ship missiles, and accompanied by a guided missile/AAA ship.
It's mission would be ideal for Oceania, since most of the continent are islands, the entirety of which would be in coastal gun range. Otherwise, it would fill a tremendous operational gap of the rest of the world's navies; which could make Australia an essential partner in many endeavors.
#3
I think a smaller ship fitted with a modern 5" gun and appropriate missile technology makes more sense for them since you could have a substantially smaller crew. But if they insist on a battleship, I'd sell them the Wisconsin or New Jersey for a dollar.
Posted by: Steve White ||
08/26/2006 12:13 Comments ||
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#4
Anonymoose: Battleships look really neat to those people who don't have to man them or (in the case of the older models already extant) maintain them or get the spare parts.
Also remember that a lot of battleships didn't do very well in the last war that saw their widespread use. The Japanese lost most of theirs to submarines and/or air attack; the Bismark was crippled by an attack by _biplane_ torpedo bombers and finished off by destroyers. Both with unreliable, unguided torpedoes.
Posted by: Phil ||
08/26/2006 14:09 Comments ||
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#5
The Australians are building the modern day equivalent of the battleship, 3 Aegis destroyers. They will be slightly smaller with 64 vs 96 VLS cells, though the Aussies may not load them with Tomahawks.
Posted by: ed ||
08/26/2006 14:21 Comments ||
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#6
I think a real frigate would be better than a BB. Something like the Constitution only made out of Kevlar with super thin sails for a speed in excess of 40 knots. Mounting 48-52 modern 32 pounders it would dominate the seaspace between Port Mosby and Pitcairn Island.
#7
Part of my point was made during the Falklands' War, when light, fast ships proved vulnerable to anti-ship missiles. And missile ships are fine, when your targets are precise and limited.
This is why I propose a battleship. It can sit offshore and provide devastating, deep, sledgehammer destruction when that is what you want. An analogy would be to say, "Why would we still want to use B-52 carpet bombing in the age of precision guided bombs?"
Sometimes you need a sledgehammer, not an epee. The right tool for the job.
I also said that such a battleship would need to have a second, guided missile and AAA ship to protect its airspace.
Now, even though a battleship is "old technology", it does not mean that an old ship will do. Thick armor plate could be replaced with much lighter armor. 16" or 18" guns would need a serious upgrade from WWII specs. A major redesign would be in order.
One of its major uses would be as a bunker buster.
No matter how well a bunker is built, 50 18" rounds accurately put on top of it, in the same hole, is going to leave a mark. A ship like that could have made short shrift of every Hezbollah bunker in Lebanon--keep pounding away until it is done.
But if Australia were to build such a ship, it would probably be the only one afloat. There would be little enough justification for its use, except by the US.
DASKA: Ten activists of the Tablighi Jamaat fell unconscious after consuming poisonous sweets early on Friday morning. The activists, Ashiq, Sadiq, Muhammad Umer Farooq, Muhammad Arshad Gil, Muhammad Arshad, Muhammad Ashraf, Hafiz Sajjad, Muhammad Ilyas and Muhammad Luqman had come to Daska city from Raiwind and were preaching Islam at Jamia Mosque Al-Quds Muhammadpura, Daska.
An unidentified man had reportedly gone to the mosque and presented the activists with poisonous sweets after the consumption of which they lost consciousness and were shifted to the Daska Civil Hospital where their condition was reported as critical. Daska city police, however, have registered a case against an accused, Asghar, on the information of Chaudhry Asif Abdullah Sahi and are investigating the matter.
Posted by: Fred ||
08/26/2006 00:00 ||
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A labourer shot his wife dead on suspicion of her having an affair with their neighbour in Jhalaran village, North Cantt, on Friday. Police said Manzoor Masih suspected his wife Shamim of having an affair with a neighbour over which the couple scuffled and he shot her dead and surrendered to police. The body has been sent for autopsy and police is investigating.
Posted by: Fred ||
08/26/2006 00:00 ||
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#1
uhhh, no comment necessary. (Hey, Jim Jones...pass the Kool-Aid!!)
SOUTH WAZIRISTAN: Four people, including a ten-year-old girl, were killed and three were wounded on Friday in a gun battle between rival tribes over their dominion near the Pak-Afghan border.
Three tribesmen and a girl belonging to the Jani Khel tribe were killed in an exchange of fire, and three others were wounded...
The Jani Khel Wazir and Malkshai Mehsood tribes had a longstanding dispute over the ownership of a mountain near Shawal, which both sides meant to settle by force on Friday. Three tribesmen and a girl belonging to the Jani Khel tribe were killed in an exchange of fire, and three others were wounded. A political activist in the area, Munir Azam Khan, called upon the Shabi Khel and Abdalai tribal jirgas to order a ceasefire in the area to avoid violence in future.
Posted by: Fred ||
08/26/2006 00:00 ||
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#1
I take it that they don't have title registries nor a register of deeds.
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
China may be giving striptease funerals the last rites after officials arrested five people and ordered an end to the practise, state media said. 
Arizona seniors had no idea what the flourishing plant they nurtured in their driveway was until a passing deputy told them it was marijuana. 
DASKA: Ten activists of the Tablighi Jamaat fell unconscious after consuming poisonous sweets early on Friday morning. The activists, Ashiq, Sadiq, Muhammad Umer Farooq, Muhammad Arshad Gil, Muhammad Arshad, Muhammad Ashraf, Hafiz Sajjad, Muhammad Ilyas and Muhammad Luqman had come to Daska city from Raiwind and were preaching Islam at Jamia Mosque Al-Quds Muhammadpura, Daska. 
A labourer shot his wife dead on suspicion of her having an affair with their neighbour in Jhalaran village, North Cantt, on Friday. Police said Manzoor Masih suspected his wife Shamim of having an affair with a neighbour over which the couple scuffled and he shot her dead and surrendered to police. The body has been sent for autopsy and police is investigating.
SOUTH WAZIRISTAN: Four people, including a ten-year-old girl, were killed and three were wounded on Friday in a gun battle between rival tribes over their dominion near the Pak-Afghan border. 
