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60 suspected Taliban, five security forces killed in Afghanistan
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Page 5: Russia-Former Soviet Union
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Page 4: Opinion
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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Dead Horse Washes Ashore in Woman's Yard
RAVENSWOOD, W.Va. A dead horse has washed up in Judy Roberts' backyard, and the Jackson County woman is trying to find a way to get rid of the carcass, along with the stench.
I guess we now know what happened to the Mohammad cartoon story...
Roberts discovered the horse in the Ohio River on Friday.
"Hmmm... What's that? Looks kinda like a dead horse."
By Sunday, it had shifted onto her property.
"Hmmm... What's that out by my vegetable garden?"
"Somebody needs to move it," Roberts said.
"Since I'm the property owner, I guess that'd be me."
"It's contaminated the water."
"It's bloated and reeking and covered with flies..."
"And I shouldn't have to live like this."
"I really should be the Queen of Denmark."
She can only hope help comes quicker than in Harrison County, where earlier this month a rotting cow carcass was hung up on the tree for several weeks at the West Milford Dam while various government agencies debated whose responsibility it was to remove it.
"Damn, Wilbur! How'd yew get that cow carcass up in thet thar tree?"
The cow was hauled away last week through the combined efforts of the Division of Highways and the West Milford and Nutter Fort volunteer fire departments.
"How come we get the stinky end?"
"Shuddup. Both ends are stinky!"
Roberts said she has called several agencies — even Gov. Joe Manchin's office — and either was told they couldn't help or she got no response.
"Yes, ma'am. I'd recommend you get a shovel and start digging."
Roberts said the smell from the horse has gotten so bad, she plans to stay in her home until the problem is resolved.
"Not my problem. Somebody else has to take care of it. And I'm not coming out of my room until they do!"
Manchin spokeswoman Lara Ramsburg said Tuesday night she hadn't heard about the horse.
"I thought I smelled something, but I didn't know what it was."
DNR spokesman Hoy Murphy said since the matter doesn't involve wildlife, his office won't get involved.
"A horse ain't a wild animal, and even if it was, if it's dead it ain't wild life."
A call to the Ravenswood Volunteer Fire Department went unanswered Tuesday night.
"It's her again, Archie!"
"Don't answer it, Bob."
"Thank Gawd for caller ID!"
Posted by: Fred || 05/25/2006 15:03 || Comments || Link || [2 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Well - there's more than one way to . . .

Nevermind.
Posted by: Ebbogum Sheresh6836 || 05/25/2006 15:25 Comments || Top||

#2  That's what she gets for crossing the Corleones.
Posted by: Mike || 05/25/2006 16:36 Comments || Top||

#3  By Sunday, it had shifted onto her property.

Just woke up long enuf to "shift" on over to Judy's place did it?
Posted by: Besoeker || 05/25/2006 17:37 Comments || Top||

#4  Just goes to show...gotta be careful when wishing for a pony...
Posted by: Seafarious || 05/25/2006 17:41 Comments || Top||

#5  Wahhahahahahahahhaaaaaaa
Posted by: Besoeker || 05/25/2006 17:50 Comments || Top||

#6  RAVENSWOOD, W.Va. A dead horse has washed up in Judy Roberts' backyard, and the Jackson County woman is trying to find a way to get rid of the carcass, along with the stench.

Did anyone check if Ted Kennedy was still in Washington? W.Va - only takes one drunken turn on the beltway and the next thing you know....
Posted by: Elmolump Ulins2054 || 05/25/2006 18:20 Comments || Top||


Relocated Swans Eaten By Alligators
Gulp! One by one, Lakeland's feathery attractions are singing their swan songs - and only the alligators are grinning. Moved for their protection during shoreline work on Lake Morton, 65 swans were sent to swim in lakes Wire and Mirror and two Publix-owned retention ponds. Apparently, they weren't the only creatures paddling those waters. A trapper recently pulled an alligator out of Lake Wire. In its belly: two identification chip implants from missing swans.
Swan, the other white meat
Alligators have made meals of nine of the swans since they were moved in January, said Kevin Cook, city spokesman. Another one likely was killed by a stray dog, and two others managed to fly off despite having clipped wings, totaling 12 on the missing list.
"Stumpy wings, don't fail us now!"
"Af-f-f-f-f-f-l-l-l-a-a-a-a-a-a-c-c-c-c!!!!"
City parks workers relocated more than half the population of 105 because they'd have to partially drain Lake Morton and didn't believe it could support the whole bunch. Normally, Lakes Wire and Mirror - like Lake Morton - are free of gators. During mating season, however, they spread out. Cook said alligators in all four relocation sites are being blamed for chowing down on the city's trademark.

Lakeland's graceful bevy got its beginning in 1957, when Queen Elizabeth II of England donated two mating mute swans from the royal flock. Park officials since have added three other species: coscoroba, Australian black and blackneck swans. The city lost about half its swans to botulism in the early 1980s.

Since 1991, a veterinarian has implanted an identification chip in each bird. The chips provide the birds' medical history when they're rounded up for exams and inoculations as youngsters, then for annual physicals as adults. In the fall, just about all the survivors will return to Lake Morton when the shoreline work is finished, Cook said. The bad swans will remain in Lake Mirror, where they have always gone. Those are the birds that hiss and peck at and chase people. Only a gator could love a bird like that.
Posted by: ryuge || 05/25/2006 12:09 || Comments || Link || [2 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Darwin award alert.
Posted by: wxjames || 05/25/2006 15:49 Comments || Top||

#2  Gators in a Florida pond?
Who could've forseen that...

City parks workers relocated more than half the population...

Oh. That explains it.
Posted by: tu3031 || 05/25/2006 15:55 Comments || Top||

#3  The local free rag here had a story about geese eating up the newly planted marsh grass. The title was "Honk if You're Destroying the Ecosystem"
Posted by: Seafarious || 05/25/2006 17:06 Comments || Top||

#4  Gators or no gators, a "hissing pecker" is something to certainly stay well away from.
Posted by: Besoeker || 05/25/2006 17:34 Comments || Top||

#5  Somebody feed some gator fingers to the swans.
When they discover how tasty gator is... the situation will change.
Posted by: Ebbeng Hupavinter2556 || 05/25/2006 21:49 Comments || Top||

#6  Its Dubya's fault, again - obviously America needs another Govt. bureaucracy to regulate and protect the Swans from the Gators, and another Govt Agency to protect the Gators from the Swans. The Swans = Gators > will vote for it before votng against it. POTUS Hillary will take away from both the Swans and Gators in the name of the common feathers = leather good.
Posted by: JosephMendiola || 05/25/2006 23:20 Comments || Top||


Too short for prison, or too stupid to be a judge?
A man found guilty of sexually assaulting a child has been given 10 years of probation by a judge who said the man was too small to survive prison. District Judge Kristine Cecava of Cheyenne County sentenced Richard W. Thompson, 50, Tuesday on two counts of sexually assaulting a minor. “What you have done is absolutely inexcusable,” she said.

His crimes deserved a long sentence, Cecava said, but she expressed concern that the 5-foot-1 Thompson would be especially imperiled by prison dangers. He will be electronically monitored the first four months of his probation, and he was told to never be alone with someone under age 18 or date or live with a woman whose children were under 18. Cecava also ordered Thompson to get rid of his pornography.

He faces 30 days of jail each year of his probation unless he follows its conditions closely. “I want control of you until I know you have integrated change into your life,” the judge told Thompson. “I truly hope that my bet on you being OK out in society is not misplaced.”
Posted by: Anguper Hupomosing9418 || 05/25/2006 11:12 || Comments || Link || [1 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Lemee get this straight. There's a height requirement for prison? Impeach this stupid cow.
Posted by: mcsegeek1 || 05/25/2006 12:04 Comments || Top||

#2  I'll bet he was bigger than the child he sexually assaulted. No doubt the smallest element of this story is District Judge Kristine Cecava's brain. Microscpoic. Her arrogance, on the other hand...
Posted by: Ebberemp Phinens2648 || 05/25/2006 12:11 Comments || Top||

#3  “I truly hope that my bet on you being OK out in society is not misplaced.”

So Judge... if he re-offends will you serve his sentence? Didn't think so. Will you compensate his victims? Didn't think so.

Stupid Judge.
Posted by: CrazyFool || 05/25/2006 13:06 Comments || Top||

#4  The judge fails to recall the warning from Jefferson about ...That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government,...,

and the part about ...The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

If the state is unable or unwilling to perform its functions the power reverts back to the people.
Posted by: Cloger Elmereque9146 || 05/25/2006 15:26 Comments || Top||

#5  “I want control of you until I know you have integrated change into your life,” the judge told Thompson. “I truly hope that my bet on you being OK out in society is not misplaced.”

One way to be certain you silly wonk, let him MOVE IN TO YOUR HOUSE and EAT and SLEEP with YOUR FAMILY!
Posted by: Besoeker || 05/25/2006 17:29 Comments || Top||


Deadly Grannies!!!
Posted by: lotp || 05/25/2006 00:00 || Comments || Link || [1 views] Top|| File under:

#1  "It is one of the most sinister, evil plots I've ever seen," he said."
Posted by: Snuns Thromp1484 || 05/25/2006 0:06 Comments || Top||

#2  it did not escapr our notice lotp, that you like these tales about us poor helpless men being turned into cold hard cash...

for shame! for shame! :(
Posted by: potential victim || 05/25/2006 1:52 Comments || Top||

#3  I suspect these grannies missed out on their calcium earlier in life. Somebody wasn't taking precautions ...

heh
Posted by: lotp || 05/25/2006 5:41 Comments || Top||

#4  Okay, it really isn't funny. These women deserve to do hard time and not enjoy it - or to go out strapped in a chair.
Posted by: lotp || 05/25/2006 5:50 Comments || Top||

#5  Didn't Monty Python do a sketch about this years ago?
Posted by: no mo uro || 05/25/2006 6:48 Comments || Top||

#6  Didn't Monty Python do a sketch about this years ago?

Don't remember it, but Frank Capra certainly did a movie about that.
Posted by: anonymous5089 || 05/25/2006 7:01 Comments || Top||

#7  "Arsenic and Old Lace" is supposed to be funny. It isn't. At least the old biddies in "Arsenic" aren't doing it for the money.
Posted by: mom || 05/25/2006 9:54 Comments || Top||

#8  "It is one of the most sinister, evil plots I've ever seen,"

He don't get out much, apparently.
Posted by: mojo || 05/25/2006 12:41 Comments || Top||

#9 
LOL lotp, the milk vid was unexpected and funny!
*

enjoy these classics

PMS Love


PMS Love, the Series

..what us poor poor men folk have to endure! »:-)

heh!
Posted by: RD || 05/25/2006 13:52 Comments || Top||

#10  tap..tap..tap..

that's odd, my sympathy meter doesn't seem to be registering at the moment.
Posted by: lotp || 05/25/2006 14:47 Comments || Top||


Britain
Bader's Bunny Back in Blighty
A mascot believed to have belonged to a World War II flying ace has been given to an RAF base. Douglas Bader, who flew in The Battle of Britain despite losing both legs in 1930, is believed to have kept the rabbit as a mascot in his sports car. He then gave it to a friend whose family have now presented it to RAF Coltishall in Norfolk. The base is due to close this year but its historian Mick Jennings said it would then be given to a museum.
Chocks away bunnikins, let's bag some Bosche.
Posted by: Howard UK || 05/25/2006 03:38 || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:


Europe
Der Speigel: France Suffers a California Smackdown
Oops, they did it again. Judges in a rematch of a 1976 blind taste test between French and Californian wines have handed the laurels to California for a second time. The French wine industry gnashes its teeth.

Thirty years ago, nine French wine experts shocked the world -- and themselves -- when they ranked certain California wines above their French counterparts in a blind taste test that came to be called, notoriously, "The Judgment of Paris." The French defended their belles dames at the time by sniping that the young west-coast wines wouldn't age well. "Our wines will improve with time," they sniffed. So the Briton who organized the Paris contest mounted a thirtieth-anniversary re-enactment on Wednesday in London and California, to see how time had treated the wines. Results? In brief: California smacks down France -- again!

"I'm very impressed," said Christian Vannequé, a French judge who was at the original contest, as well as the tasting in California. "I don't know if I will be able to go back to France. After a second time, they will kill me."

Wednesday's event was billed as a "celebration" of the Judgment of Paris, not a rematch. But the results were hard to ignore. The combined judgment of this year's tasters put five California cabernets on top, led by a 1971 Ridge Monte Bello Cabernet Sauvignon from the Santa Cruz Mountains. (Thirty years ago it came in fifth.) The top wine in 1976 -- a 1973 Stags Leap Cellars Cabernet Sauvignon, from Napa Valley -- came in second. The four slots below the Californians this year were occupied by French wines from Bordeaux, including a 1970 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild.
[..]
Posted by: 3dc || 05/25/2006 17:41 || Comments || Link || [3 views] Top|| File under:

#1  "I don't know if I will be able to go back to France...... "

No worries Christian, many here share those same sentiments.
Posted by: Besoeker || 05/25/2006 17:52 Comments || Top||

#2  I guess they couldn't "manage" it the way they did Olympic Ice Skating.
Posted by: Glese Thriling3969 || 05/25/2006 18:14 Comments || Top||

#3 
they should probably just stick to makin' white flags.
Posted by: macofromoc || 05/25/2006 21:29 Comments || Top||


Germans find picking veggies to be unappealing
BEELITZ, GERMANY - Instead of waiting for the next welfare check, Heino Wittstock is picking asparagus. The German construction worker has been unemployed for three years. But this spring, he joins some 280,000 Polish migrant farmhands, plucking the foot-high green and white sentinels from the rich Brandenburg loam. "I need to do something; Sitting at home on the couch is not an option," he says.

In an unusual effort to address its 11.9 percent unemployment rate, Berlin is also trying to answer a common refrain in many industrial nations: "Foreigners are taking jobs away from us."
Just doing the jobs Germans won't do or at least do well, as we'll see.

Continued on Page 49
Posted by: Steve White || 05/25/2006 01:50 || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  This has the markings of a major disaster -- during the short asparagus season the Germans eat it with almost every meal, in every form imaginable. Never have I seen vegetation treated with such respect.

On the other hand, if the farms were to advertise "Pick ur own" they'd probably be overrun. The Germans are even keener on small garden allotments than the Brits. Not that such an outrageous thing is likely to occur to anyone over there, more's the pity.
Posted by: trailing wife || 05/25/2006 20:51 Comments || Top||


Home Front Economy
Can You Hear Me Now? IRS to Refund $15 Billion of Telephone Taxes to Consumers
Posted by: anonymous2u || 05/25/2006 20:39 || Comments || Link || [1 views] Top|| File under:



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A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.

Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.

Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has dominated Mexico for six years.
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Seafarious
tu3031
badanov
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Two weeks of WOT
Thu 2006-05-25
  60 suspected Taliban, five security forces killed in Afghanistan
Wed 2006-05-24
  British troops in first Taliban action
Tue 2006-05-23
  Hamas force battles rivals in Gaza
Mon 2006-05-22
  Airstrike in South Afghanistan Kills 76
Sun 2006-05-21
  Bomb plot on Rashid Abu Shbak
Sat 2006-05-20
  Iraqi government formed. Finally.
Fri 2006-05-19
  Hamas official seized with $800k
Thu 2006-05-18
  Haqqani takes command of Talibs
Wed 2006-05-17
  Two Fatah cars explode
Tue 2006-05-16
  Beslan Snuffy Guilty of Terrorism
Mon 2006-05-15
  Bangla: 13 militants get life
Sun 2006-05-14
  Feds escort Moussaoui to new supermax home
Sat 2006-05-13
  Attack on US consulate in Jeddah
Fri 2006-05-12
  Clashes in Somali capital kill 135 civilians
Thu 2006-05-11
  Jordan Arrests 20 Over ‘Hamas Arms Plots’


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