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2003-12-24 Middle East

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Posted by Steve White 2003-12-24 2:10:47 AM|| || Front Page|| [11123 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 THE FIRST THING WE DO, LET'S KILL ALL THE LAWYERS!

Posted by 4thInfVet 2003-12-24 2:15:59 AM|| 2003-12-24 2:15:59 AM|| Front Page Top

#2 If Saddam is smart, he'll hire some Jewish lawyers real fast. Although that might end up getting him killed by his fan-base...

Posted by Charles 2003-12-24 2:19:49 AM|| 2003-12-24 2:19:49 AM|| Front Page Top

#3 So these lawyers believe that the Saddamite attacks on Kuwait, Iran and internal ethnic groups were legal? I wonder how these frauds feel about suicide bombers. The United Arab Emirates bases their civil justice system on British civil codes. Jordanians might try that. Didn't Churchill say, "I created Jordan with a stroke of a pen on a Wednesday morning"?

Posted by Vlad the Muslim Impaler 2003-12-24 2:22:41 AM|| 2003-12-24 2:22:41 AM|| Front Page Top

#4 Well, it's going to get (legally) messy over there. They haven't even discussed avenues of appeal from the Iraqi tribunals.

I'd better re-iterate my advice from the day he was captured: First, try him in a US Military tribunal, get him convicted and sentenced (to death). Next, let the Iraqis have him, but maintain physical custody of Saddam, so no tricks can be pulled. They will likely convict him and sentence him to die. Then, probably about the time of the US election, allow the most competent international tribunal to try him, STILL MAINTAINING PHYSICAL CUSTODY. We can offer up a ship under our control to perform the trial on, or it can be done by satellite link, but WE DON'T TURN HIM OVER TO THEM, WE WON'T GET HIM BACK FOR EXECUTION OF OUR SENTENCE IF WE DO.

Posted by Rivrdog 2003-12-24 7:20:14 AM|| 2003-12-24 7:20:14 AM|| Front Page Top

#5 600,sounds like the Moslem version of OJ's Dream Team.

Posted by raptor 2003-12-24 8:11:26 AM|| 2003-12-24 8:11:26 AM|| Front Page Top

#6 Moslem version of OJ's Dream Team

They would have to be virgins though, I suppose. And why 600? 666 would be more appropriate. Maybe they're not counting the support staff.

Posted by Rafael 2003-12-24 8:19:25 AM|| 2003-12-24 8:19:25 AM|| Front Page Top

#7 I was going to say mention once seeing a book titled Lawyers and Other Reptiles, but I won't.

Posted by Glenn (not Reynolds) 2003-12-24 9:21:23 AM|| 2003-12-24 9:21:23 AM|| Front Page Top

#8 600 Jordanian lawyers and a French guy?
Lotsa luck, Sammy!

Posted by tu3031 2003-12-24 9:45:45 AM|| 2003-12-24 9:45:45 AM|| Front Page Top

#9 Let's take a flight of fantasy and suppose that a Jordanian lawyer gets Saddam off on a technicality. What are the odds that Saddam and the lawyer would survive the Iranian, Kurd, Shiite, and Israeli hitmen sent their way?

Question: What do you call 100 Jordanian lawyers at the bottom of the Persian Gulf?

Answer: A good start.

Posted by Tom 2003-12-24 9:49:13 AM|| 2003-12-24 9:49:13 AM|| Front Page Top

#10 4thInfVet: The familiar quote, âTHE FIRST THING WE DO, LET'S KILL ALL THE LAWYERS!â actually supports the profession of lawyers as a safeguard to stable society. The phrase comes from William Shakespeareâs Second Part of King Henry the Sixth, Act IV. Scene II., where plots of bloody rebellion are being hatched, and reads more fully as:

Cade.Â Â Be brave, then; for your captain is brave, and vows reformation. There shall be in England seven halfpenny loaves sold for a penny; the three-hooped pot shall have ten hoops; and I will make it felony to drink small beer. All the realm shall be in common, and in Cheapside shall my palfrey go to grass. And when I am king,âas king I will be,â
All.Â Â God save your majesty!
Cade.Â Â I thank you, good people: there shall be no money; all shall eat and drink on my score; and I will apparel them all in one livery, that they may agree like brothers, and worship me their lord.
Dick.Â Â The first thing we do, letâs kill all the lawyers.
Cade.Â Â Nay, that I mean to do. Is not this a lamentable thing, that of the skin of an innocent lamb should be made parchment? that parchment, being scribbled oâer, should undo a man? Some say the bee stings; but I say, âtis the beeâs wax, for I did but seal once to a thing, and I was never mine own man since. How now! whoâs there?

Now, doesnât this sound like familiar political propaganda (a chicken in every pot)? My old trial professor [a staunch evangelical Christian, and incredibly conservative] explained to the class the most basic reason for the American tradition of âinnocent until proven guiltyâ and need for âproof beyond a reasonable doubtâ before a jury of peers (when even the village idiot knows a person to be guilty). He said something to the effect that âWe make sure the systems works, even for the worst of us, and make the government prove its case; so that if the best of us is ever accused, we have some reasonable chance of acquittal.â

Now granted, Iâm a trial lawyer [and a Plaintiffâs trial lawyer at that] defending my profession, but I truly do believe that the third branch of our government, the Courts (and which make lawyers officers of the court and polices the profession) is essential to our way of life. I say give Saddam every conceivable opportunity to make the Iraqi government prove his guilt, let the jury decide, and then let them execute the sentence and send him on to meet his Maker.

By the way, you can have some confidence in what Iâm writing, because Iâm not speaking -- Iâm writing. [Q: How do you know when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving.]

Posted by cingold 2003-12-24 11:15:57 AM|| 2003-12-24 11:15:57 AM|| Front Page Top

#11 cingold, Did you cut-and-paste that from the last democratic national convention?

Posted by CrazyFool 2003-12-24 12:01:08 PM|| 2003-12-24 12:01:08 PM|| Front Page Top

#12 There is/was CTLA, the California Trial Lawyers Association. Some got oopsy about an ambo-chasing image and formed a new group CAOC, Consumer Attorneys of California. There are rumors the acronym was originally to be CACA, until it was noticed California had a significant Hispanic population.

Lawyers wonder why non-lawyers lawyer-bash. It's cathartic.

Posted by Glenn (not Reynolds) 2003-12-24 2:41:25 PM|| 2003-12-24 2:41:25 PM|| Front Page Top

#13 CrazyFool -- actually not, but it is a pretty close match, isn't it? Including promises of largess at the expense of others.

By the way, got any lawyer jokes? -- I love 'em! E.g., two lawyers met at a cocktail party. âHowâs business?â asked the first. âRotten,â replied the other. âYesterday, I chased an ambulance for twenty miles. When I finally caught up to it, there was already another lawyer hanging on to the bumper.â

Or, how about this one . . . A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: âJustice prevailed.â

The senior partner replied in haste, âAppeal immediately.â

Posted by cingold 2003-12-24 3:48:39 PM|| 2003-12-24 3:48:39 PM|| Front Page Top

#14 Here's one for you, cingold.
Why do lawyers wear ties?
It keeps the foreskin from going up over their heads.

Posted by tu3031 2003-12-24 4:00:09 PM|| 2003-12-24 4:00:09 PM|| Front Page Top

23:54 OldSpook
23:37 Glenn (not Reynolds)
22:27 Rafael
22:02 Ptah
21:29 Super Hose
21:14 Super Hose
21:13 badanov
20:58 Super Hose
20:55 Super Hose
20:46 Super Hose
20:19 Rafael
20:07 Rafael
19:59 Glenn (not Reynolds)
19:43 Lars
19:26 Barbara Skolaut
19:20 badanov
19:18 mojo
19:09 Shipman
19:03 Shipman
18:56 Alaska Paul
18:51 Charles
18:50 mojo
18:31 Ptah
18:29 phil_b