Article

2006-11-10 Afghanistan

Would-be suicide bomber promised $17,000

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Posted by Fred 2006-11-10 00:00|| || Front Page|| [2 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 a man they said had confessed to agreeing to carry out a suicide attack outside Kabuls busiest mosque in return for nearly $17,000 for his family

Bwahahahaha! But wait there's more! You'll also get a special plastic key to open the gates of heaven where you'll find waiting for you 72 virgins on each of 72 enormous beds inside each of 72 enormous mansions! And not only that, they're yours to do what you want with for eternity! And if that's not enough, all your friends, family members, and your favorite goat will be members for eternity at the same resort! Hurry, this is a limited time offer! (Small print: Limited to the time it takes you to figure out that it's a load of horse$hit, that is!)

Posted by gorb 2006-11-10 00:28|| 2006-11-10 00:28|| Front Page Top

#2 We were told our family will receive 1,000,000 rupees after we carried out the attack. I was told to detonate in Pul-e-Khisti mosque,

What is the odds the family would not have seen any of this money after he exploded/not got caught???!!!!

Posted by Cheregum Crelet7867 2006-11-10 05:14|| 2006-11-10 05:14|| Front Page Top

#3 Shoot, that's pocket change compared with Saddam Hussein's payout of $25,000 per kaboom. Whoa, wait a minute, Saddam actually paid terrorists to murder Jews by kabooming themselves? I thought he didn't sponsor terrorism. At least that's what the victorious Democrats say.

Posted by Lancasters Over Dresden 2006-11-10 08:34|| http://www.michaelcalderonscall.com]">[http://www.michaelcalderonscall.com] 2006-11-10 08:34|| Front Page Top

#4 Seeing as how he didn't push the button, it sounds like mommy thought it was a nice idea but he didn't agree.

Posted by anon 2006-11-10 08:58|| 2006-11-10 08:58|| Front Page Top

#5 Lancasters - they didn't have WMD's either, unless you want to refer to the NYT's article that verified that Saddam was very near an atomic bomb. But you are only allowed to acknowledge that for the purposes of pointing out that the Bush administration should not have posted that information before the NYT could leak it themselves.

Posted by anon 2006-11-10 09:02|| 2006-11-10 09:02|| Front Page Top

#6 Sucker, Paleos get > 25000$

Posted by gromgoru 2006-11-10 09:49|| 2006-11-10 09:49|| Front Page Top

#7 Like allan wouldn't suddenly command that the cash go to a higher purpose, like the care and overfeeding of mullahs.

Posted by ed 2006-11-10 10:12|| 2006-11-10 10:12|| Front Page Top

#8 From the Firesign Theater radio show: Ebis Knebis had a parachute on. He was being interviewed by a news reporter on the edge of a hole to the center of the earth, caused by a comet hitting Hellmouth, Arizona. Ebis was going to jump into the hole and parachute for a stunt. The reporter asked him:

"Aren't you afraid of dying?"
Ebis sez, "Hell, no. Live or die, I'll make a million."

Posted by Alaska Paul">Alaska Paul 2006-11-10 15:28|| 2006-11-10 15:28|| Front Page Top

#9 If my family was paid $17,000.00 for me blowing myself up in a crowd, the lawyers would see to it that my family would never see the money. But would owe more. They just need more lawyers over there, not soldiers.

Posted by plainslow 2006-11-10 18:53|| 2006-11-10 18:53|| Front Page Top

#10 lawyers don't work well in places where when they (and their families) can be put into paper shredders if they don't give the "proper" verdict.

Posted by anon 2006-11-10 21:38|| 2006-11-10 21:38|| Front Page Top

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