Article

2010-05-05 Science & Technology

Elvis Presley Died of an 'Embarrassing' Case of Chronic Constipation

Archived material is restricted to Rantburg regulars and members. If you need access email fred.pruitt=at=gmail.com with your nick to be added to the members list. There is no charge to join Rantburg as a member.

Posted by GolfBravoUSMC 2010-05-05 13:57|| || Front Page|| [3 views ] Top

#1 There was an old medical tale of an MD who was held in high esteem because he had successfully treated a reverend with such severe constipation that it had also blocked his ability to urinate.

The doctor mixed up a rare cocktail of laxatives that "could have uncorked an elephant", as well as a potent muscle relaxant. And it was so profoundly successful that the reverend turned it into a grandiose sermon for his congregation, once he had recovered his composure.

As the reverend regaled, "This man of science not only moved a mountain, but brought forth a river! And by his skills, I am freed of what must have been Satan himself in my bowels, both in bulk and the foulness of his demonic stench!"

Posted by Anonymoose 2010-05-05 14:50|| 2010-05-05 14:50|| Front Page Top

#2 once he had recovered his composure.

*open-mouthed awe at the felicitous phrasing*

Posted by trailing wife 2010-05-05 16:39|| 2010-05-05 16:39|| Front Page Top

#3 Wow.

"Poor motility of the Bowel" > IIUC, the good Doc is also inferring a SERIOUS OR SEVERE BOWEL OBSTRUCTION condition for the King?

IMO it's possible Elvis may had also been severely afflcited wid internal ulcers caused by "MONTHS-OLD" [weeks?] stool staying stuck in his intestines andor colon. ELVIS MAY HAD DIED IN PAIN, all of which can induce his bloaty appearance. People wid ulcers tend to consume the very same-or-worse foods which caused their affliction as it can relieve + temper the strong acids churning in their system.

* STOMACH ACIDS > IIRC are strong enough by itself to dissolve certain HARD METALLIC ELEMENTS.

Don't worry, America, He's still and is forever "the King"!

Posted by JosephMendiola 2010-05-06 00:02|| 2010-05-06 00:02|| Front Page Top

00:02 JosephMendiola
23:47 Rex Mundi
23:44 Rex Mundi
23:39 JosephMendiola
23:38 Rex Mundi
23:37 abu do you love
23:34 Barbara Skolaut
23:27 JosephMendiola
23:25 JosephMendiola
23:24 CrazyFool
23:17 trailing wife
23:11 JosephMendiola
23:10 Rex Mundi
23:05 chris
23:03 chris
23:00 chris
23:00 trailing wife
22:56 trailing wife
22:51 Rex Mundi
22:48 JosephMendiola
22:46 trailing wife
22:44 JosephMendiola
22:41 49 Pan
22:40 Mizzou Mafia