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2002-07-15 Home Front
Johny Jihad pleads guilty...
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Posted by Fred Pruitt 2002-07-15 11:46 am|| || Front Page|| [2 views since 2007-05-07]  Top

#1 I was so excited I wrote a song:


The Ballad of John Walker
(or, Tali-Banned in Boston!)

Let me tell you the story
Of young Johnny Walker
Of a misguided and foolish young man
He left his home in Frisco,
Said goodbye to his Mamma
Went to join up with the Taliban

Johnny went to Yemen
Where he studied his Koran
And then he made some further plans
He e-mailed Daddy,
“Send me twelve hundred dollars
‘Cause I’m goin’ to Afghanistan.”

Chorus:
But will he ever return?
Will he ever return?
Now his lesson is still unlearn'd
He should be shot for treason
On the streets of Kabul
He's the man who may never return.

Now Johnny joined al-Queda
And learned to blow up buildings
And his own homeland to curse
Then came September Eleventh
And then came the airstrikes
And things went from bad to worse

When his troop surrendered
John was filthy and ragged
And defeat had him feelin’ blue
Then he saw a reporter
From the AP or Newsweek
And said “Hey, I’m an American too!”

Chorus

Johnny’s Mommy and Daddy
Met up with some reporters
And they talked like a couple’a flakes:
“Sure, our son’s a ter’rist
But you can’t be judgmental;
Hell, everybody makes mistakes!”

“He’s a good boy, really”
Johnny’s Daddy added,
“If you knew him well, you’d see.
So I’ve found some lawyers
Who’ll defend him pro bono,
Gonna beat the rap and set him free!”

Chorus

Now the tale of Johnny
Is an object lesson
In what the wages of sin can be
But you might also conclude
The only good Johnny Walker
Is the whiskey from Tennessee!

Final chorus:
But should he ever return?
No, he shouldn’t return
‘Till his lesson he has learned
He's gonna spend a long time
Down in old Camp X-Ray
He's the man who should never return.

(Apologies to the Kingston Trio and 1948 Boston mayoral candidate Walter O’Brien.)
Posted by Mike Morley  2002-07-15 13:38:48||   2002-07-15 13:38:48|| Front Page Top

#2 and they said elvis was dead
Posted by Anonymous 2002-07-15 13:49:05||   2002-07-15 13:49:05|| Front Page Top

#3 Kingston Trio song? That the one about the Man who got lost on the MTA (Massechusetts Transit Authority)?
Posted by Anonymous 2002-07-15 13:56:14||   2002-07-15 13:56:14|| Front Page Top

#4 The very one: "The MTA," sometimes called "Charlie and the MTA."
Posted by Mike Morley  2002-07-15 14:17:34||   2002-07-15 14:17:34|| Front Page Top

04:28 Anonymous









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