Article

2008-01-04 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Sloshed Britney Hands Over Kids after Standoff

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Posted by Fred 2008-01-04 09:46|| || Front Page|| [7 views ] Top

#1 Britney's Attorneys have asked the Judge to let them resign from the case, citing "Communication Problems" with Britney. From Fox News this morning.

Posted by Deacon Blues">Deacon Blues 2008-01-04 10:35|| 2008-01-04 10:35|| Front Page Top

#2 Is this really WoT-related? I'd like to think that at least Rantburg is one Britney-free zone on the internet...

Posted by gromky 2008-01-04 10:44|| 2008-01-04 10:44|| Front Page Top

#3 I think it is.

We're in an existential war with a vicious, merciless enemy. Someone like me, utterly lacking a sense of humor, makes the logical assumption that the members of our society would be taking an interest in the war being waged against us. Instead, attention is focused on Britney's trainwreck, Paris' talents as documented on video, Lindsey's crack additiction, and any number of minor beauty queens, celebrities, starlets, and beauzeaux.

To me this sets up an intellectual problem: Those people are trying to kill us. Under their system my beautiful granddaughters would grow up to wear burkas (or at least the chador) and to function as baby-making machines. My grandsons would grow up at the service of the state as personified by the Caliph and his Grand Vizier. Their finest hour would be when they explode in the service of their friendly neighborhood holy men. Yet my fellow Merkins don't seem to care, particularly.

I am simply not smart enough to understand this. Obviously I'm missing something. Obviously more data is required.

Anybody heard from Lindsey lately?

Posted by Fred 2008-01-04 10:58|| 2008-01-04 10:58|| Front Page Top

#4 Yeah, she (gasp!) swigged from a bottle of champagne at midnight on New Years' Eve, called her AA sponsor, and then did some Italian actor 'til dawn.

Don't ask.

Posted by Seafarious 2008-01-04 11:05|| 2008-01-04 11:05|| Front Page Top

#5 I'm impressed by your psychic powers...

10:01 AM CST on Friday, January 4, 2008
Associated Press

LOS ANGELES Lindsay Lohan rang in the New Year drinking champagne in Italy, her lawyer says, but is "back on track" in terms of sobriety.

Yep. Ya have my word on it. Just like the last time. And the time before that. And the previous time preceding the previous time...

A video obtained by The Associated Press shows Lohan, who spent much of 2007 in and out of rehab, taking a swig from a champagne bottle while in Capri, Italy. "After being handed a champagne bottle while on a dance floor in Italy on New Year's Eve and drinking from it, the good news is that Lindsay immediately stopped, called her sponsor, and got herself back on track," her attorney, Blair Berk, said Thursday in a statement. "There is no magic cure here."

Hope they don't have to send her back to jail. She might have to do four hours this time...

"Unfortunately, Lindsay has to share her 'one day at a time' with the entire world," Berk said.

So she'll always have an excuse...

Lohan, 21, was in Italy to receive an award at the Capri Hollywood International Film Festival.

Ummmmmmm...for what?

But wait. There's more...

When she isnt sneaking champagne or smooching cuties in Capri, Hot Lips Lindsay Lohan is bumming bills from her pals. A source told Gatecrasher that the once wealthy actress is openly mooching money from her friends even after running up $736 bar tab on the Italian island.

A $736 bar tab? Another minor slipup, I'm sure she's right back up on Ye Olde Track...

Perhaps Lindsays monetarily challenged condition is the result of a broken endorsement deal. According to another Gatecrasher tipster, Ariva (makers of a smoking-cessation tobacco lozenge) paid Lindsay five figures to shill their cigarette-quitting cure. Ariva reps deny the deal, Gatecrasher reports, possibly because of all the recent paparazzi pics of her smoking.

No, Lindsay. They're supposed to help you stop smoking.
Ooooooooh...

If it comes down to this stuff or reading about Muzzie daddy cutting his daughter's throat for wearing a tube top, I'll take this. These broads put themselves in the position.

Posted by tu3031 2008-01-04 11:25|| 2008-01-04 11:25|| Front Page Top

#6 Well, these are the kinds of hijinks that make our enemies despise us even more. Just like we think "honor killings" and burqas are crazy, they think it's crazy to let the likes of Britney and Lindsey out of the house all uncovered like they are just like cat meat.

I myself prefer to let these girls make their mistakes and suffer the consequences than to beat them if they remove their burqas. I'd much rather have a woman who can look me in the eye with confidence and tell me what she really thinks than someone who cowers in fear for her life. I just think it's more challenging, more fun and a lot more real.

It's called freedom and it's flip side is educated, intelligent and empowered young ladies who go quietly about making a better world without ever making the evening news.

BTW, how many residents in that neighborhood do you think wish they had surface to air missiles for that KTLA-TV helicopter?

Posted by Ebbang Uluque6305 2008-01-04 11:48|| 2008-01-04 11:48|| Front Page Top

#7 Yet my fellow Merkins don't seem to care, particularly.

Some of us do.

Posted by Jeremiah Elmineper4627 2008-01-04 13:15|| 2008-01-04 13:15|| Front Page Top

#8 Lohan, 21, was in Italy to receive an award at the Capri Hollywood International Film Festival.

Ummmmmmm...for what?

Wearing Capris ought to be enough.

$736. Hmm everyone has their price, that seems pretty reasonable imho...

What can I say? I digs me trailer trash!

Posted by flash91 2008-01-04 13:47|| 2008-01-04 13:47|| Front Page Top

#9 Yet my fellow Merkins don't seem to care, particularly.

The MSM has done an excellent job of making it hard for average busy people to really grasp what's going on out there. Apart from the trailor trash, that is.

Posted by lotp 2008-01-04 18:45|| 2008-01-04 18:45|| Front Page Top

#10 YAHOO NEWS > reports Britney is now in a suicide watch agz her will, wid pics of her on a medical guerney.

As a mere man + US male citizen of the NATIONAL-GLOBAL NEW GIRL ORDER, I remain stupefied as to what is making the curr crop of femme Starlets/Celebs act behave like this.

Posted by JosephMendiola 2008-01-04 20:30|| 2008-01-04 20:30|| Front Page Top

#11 They're attention Whores, anything (The more garish the better) so long as a national news team films it.

Plain enough?

Posted by Redneck Jim 2008-01-04 21:03|| 2008-01-04 21:03|| Front Page Top

23:54 Sherry
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21:49 JosephMendiola