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2010-03-01 Economy

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Posted by tipper 2010-03-01 15:45|| || Front Page|| [1 views ] Top

#1
Even a résumé that boasts of saving the city from Doctor Octopus and sparkling references from the likes of Captain America can't keep Spider-Man off the unemployment line.

The wall-crawler's hard-luck alter ego, Peter Parker, will get canned by boss J. Jonah Jameson and join the country's out-of-work millions in a storyline that starts in this Wednesday's "Amazing Spider-Man" No. 623.

"He couldn't have lost his job at a worse time," said "Spider-Man" editor Steve Wacker.

"He's going to struggle with unemployment and trying to save the city while he can barely afford to keep a roof over his head," Wacker said.

Posted by Parabellum 2010-03-01 16:07|| http://sidemeat.wordpress.com/ 2010-03-01 16:07|| Front Page Top

#2 Mr. Peter Parker,

In all my years as a director of human resources here at LexCorp, I have never seen a more promising candidate for any one of a number of jobs we have available in our advanced physics research & development branch.

You graduated with honors from Empire State University, even studying under Dr. Otto Gunther Octavius, before his unfortunate accident. Under any other circumstance, any major research corporation would be foolish indeed to miss an opportunity to employ you, starting with at least a six figure salary.

However, after even a brief meeting with you, I have concluded that you have perhaps the worst interview skills I have ever observed.

To start with, in future you need to pay far more attention to your personal hygiene. After you left our meeting, I had to have my office cleaned because of some foul smelling sticky substance which you deposited on everything you touched.

I would also recommend discarding your neo-Nazi red and black underwear in favor of plain white. While we here at LexCorp are open minded about some things, Nazism is not one of them.

So unfortunately, at this time, we are unable to offer you employment. However, I am enclosing a free copy of the best selling "What Color Is Your Parachute?", which I strongly recommend you read and learn from, before seeking employment elsewhere.

Yours sincerely,
Dave Mxyzptlk, Jr.
Human Resources Branch
LexCorp

Posted by Anonymoose 2010-03-01 16:23|| 2010-03-01 16:23|| Front Page Top

#3 That's what he gets for voting for Obama.

Posted by penguin 2010-03-01 16:41|| 2010-03-01 16:41|| Front Page Top

#4 Anonymoose, wouldn't his underwear be red and blue? Also how would anyone know? Is Peter wearing his pants so baggy these days that the underwear shows? To an interview no less? And no mention of the snarky comments he habitually makes? That isn't gonna go over well in an interview I imagine.

Posted by rjschwarz 2010-03-01 17:04|| 2010-03-01 17:04|| Front Page Top

#5 Lets consider some of his options. I haven't read the series in some time so I may be rusty on the latest but:

(1) He could sell his photos elsewhere. Perhaps Time Magazine, Newsweek, Life or one of the wire services.
(2) He could talk to some of his superhero friends he's made over the years and arrange to take their photos if Spiderman photos to get him enough money anymore.
(3) He could sell the secret of his web fluid. Yes this might make his life tougher but I imagine he'd be very wealthy, forever.
(4) If people don't hate him this week he could arrange for public appearances. Snooky gets $5000, politicians get up to a million. I imagine he'd be somewhere in between. No speech but the tricks he could do would wow the room.
(5) He could do work as a bounty hunter picking up those on the lam and doing it legally.
(6) He could sell his memoirs. The tale of some of his adventures, minus his secret identity would have to be a best seller. Make the check out to cash.
(7) He could return to his roots and fight in a cage match or something.
(8) He could sell a book of his photos.
I don't think they have much imagination if they think being unemployed by J. Jonah Jameson would really be much of a setback for a Superhero.

Posted by rjschwarz 2010-03-01 17:13|| 2010-03-01 17:13|| Front Page Top

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