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Egypt Arrests 14 Suspected Islamist Activists
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Afghanistan
US troops arrest former Afghan minister
US troops have arrested a former Afghan minister who heads an influential Pashtun tribe in eastern Paktia province. US forces picked up haji Mohammad Naeem Kochi on Wednesday on a highway running south of Kabul en route to a meeting with his Ahmedzai tribe. AIP said Paktia governor Raz Mohammad Dalili confirmed the arrest but gave no reason.
Maybe they just haven't seen him for awhile and want to talk to him?
Naeem Kochi was a minister in the government of ineffectual moderate Afghan leader Sibghatullah Mojaddedi, who took over as interim president after the fall of the communist government in 1992. He leads the large Ahmedzai tribe, which has considerable influence in Afghanistan's ethnic Pashtun-dominated Paktia, Paktika, Khost, Logar and Nangarhar provinces, AIP said.
Those are coincidentally where the majority of the acts of lunacy are being perpetrated in Afghanistan. Figger that...
He did not accept any office in the five-year Taliban regime, which was ousted late 2001, but maintained good relations with the hardline Islamic militia.
And presumably he also maintained his good relations with Hekmatyar and his hard boys. And with Binny and his Arab Legion.
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 01/02/2003 10:16 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:


Arabia
Yemeni killer of U.S. doctors met Al Qaeda members
The Yemeni gunman who killed three U.S. missionaries earlier this week has confessed to meeting al Qaeda members, including a suicide bomber who attacked the USS Cole, a state-owned Yemeni magazine reported on Thursday. The September 26 weekly said Abed Abdel Razzak Kamel told police he joined Yemen's Islamic Jihad group in 1997 after he met the man who three years later participated in the attack that killed 17 U.S. sailors on board the U.S. destroyer in Aden port.
"Kamel also admitted to knowing other al Qaeda members," the newspaper added. "He also told interrogators to kill him since he was going to go to heaven anyway."
First find all his friends, then kill him
The September 26 weekly said Kamel was linked to another gunman who killed a prominent Socialist opposition politician last week, adding that both men had been planning to target secular politicians and non-Muslims, especially missionaries.
The newspaper said the other gunman, Ali Jarallah, told police after his detention that he wished he was a nuclear bomb so he could "blow to smithereens all secularists".
"Blow to smithereens?" Somebody has been learning their english from watching old Yosemite Sam cartoons
Posted by: Steve || 01/02/2003 11:08 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  "Boy! Here I am in heaven! This is really neat... It's hotter than I expected, though... Sa-a-a-y! Ain't you Heinrich Himmler? Boy, who'da thought you'd get to heaven?"
Posted by: Fred || 01/02/2003 11:55 Comments || Top||

#2  Oooooooo I HATE that rabbit!
Posted by: Ali Jarallah || 01/02/2003 13:11 Comments || Top||

#3  Yemen appears to be an easy place to get a confession. I guess Yemenis believe that confession is good for the soul (or soles of battered feet).
Posted by: Anonymous || 01/02/2003 20:34 Comments || Top||


More than 30 Islamists arrested in Yemen as FBI flies in
Middle East Online
Yemen has arrested more than 30 Islamists since the shooting of three American missionaries at work in a hospital in the southern town of Jibla. "Yemeni authorities have arrested more than 30 Yemeni Islamists in various regions of Yemen following the murder of the three Americans and the assassination of Jarallah Omar, deputy leader of the Yemen Socialist Party," an official said on condition of anonymity.
Looks like the two back-to-back attacks were enough to make the Yemenis take a hard slap at the Bad Guys. Probably if they'd waited a week between the two, it wouldn't have been quite as hard...
A team from the US Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) "arrived Tuesday in Yemen to take part in the enquiry into the killing of the missionaries," the official added, without giving further details.
The feds are sure spending a lot of time conducting overseas investigations these days. If they're there long enough, the local mullahs will be able to shape them into a sovreignty whipping boy, like they're doing in Pakland...
Yemeni national Abed Abdulrazzak al-Kamel, 30, from Damar province, was arrested immediately after Monday's shooting at Jibla Baptist hospital. Kamel, carrying a concealed Kalashnikov assault rifle, burst into an administration meeting and killed hospital administrator William Koehn, purchasing agent Kathleen Gariety and doctor Martha Myers, and badly wounded pharmacist Donald Caswell.
He's just cannon fodder. If all goes well, six months from now he'll be dead and a year from now nobody'll remember his name, except possibly for his Mom. The important target is the men and the organizations behind him. Presumably the 30 who've been arrested are members of that net. I'll bet my next paycheck there are more, though. Sine it's Yemen, I'll bet there are a lot more.
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 01/02/2003 10:16 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  They're doing SOMETHING, Allah be praised.
Posted by: Ptah || 01/02/2003 11:11 Comments || Top||


Europe
Explosives ’traced to suspect’s locker’
Investigators are reported to have found traces of explosives in the locker of an airport baggage handler under investigation for terror-related offences. The man, Abderazak Besseghir - a French national of Algerian origin, was arrested at Roissy-Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris on Saturday, when weapons and explosives were found in the boot of his car. Mr Besseghir denies all knowledge of how they got there, and has suggested he may have been framed by relatives of his late wife. His case will be weakened if it turns out that he personally handled explosives.
CSI Paris seems to have been busy
The French newspaper Le Parisien quotes an investigator as saying that the alleged find in the locker suggested that a package of explosives had been sent from abroad by plane.
Remember that package of explosives that was found on a plane, stuffed down between the seats? I thought you did
It is also reported that the back seat of Mr Besseghir's car - and possibly a child seat - had been in contact with explosives.
Bringing up his kid in the proper Islamic fashion, I see
The arsenal found in the boot of his Peugeot included two pistols, five cakes of plastic explosives, two denators and a safety fuse.
I guess that automatic weapon first reported was a semi-auto pistol. I read that the retired army gent who reported this guy had seen him bent over his car trunk and heard that un-mistakeable snick-snick sound of a pistol slide being racked.
Mr Besseghir appeared before an anti-terrorist magistrate on Wednesday, and was placed under formal investigation for criminal association with a terrorist organisation, violations of arms laws, and possession of false documents. Another man, reported to be his uncle, was also placed under investigation for criminal association with a terrorist organisation, possession of false documents, and illegally entering the country. Both men were remanded in custody.
Besseghir's wife's family blame him for her death in a fire.
She is reported to have said before she died that she did not want to live by the rules of the "Taleban's Koran".
Oh ho, sounds like a traditional "honor killing" to me.
Posted by: Steve || 01/02/2003 10:21 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:


India-Pakistan
Dark omens in south Waziristan
More confused details on the bombing of PakAfganistan, I think
Following persistent and widespread speculation in North West Frontier Province (NWFP) and the Federally Administered Tribal Areas (FATA) of Pakistan about a bloody clash between United States and Pakistani forces near the border of Afghanistan with the FATA, reports from Washington DC have quoted the Pentagon as confirming that a clash, albeit of a minor nature, did take place on December 29, 2002, near the Afghan village of Sikhin, in which two Pakistanis were killed and an American was injured. During the clash, an American F-16 dropped a bomb, hitting a madrassa (Muslim religious school) in the south Waziristan area of the FATA in Pakistani territory.
Now the story gets confused
From the welter of reports on the incident coming from the NWFP and the FATA, it has been possible to reconstruct the following: Unidentified elements, suspected to be from al-Qaeda or the Taliban or both, opened fire on a US patrol near the Pakistan border in Paktika province of Afghanistan last week. In the ensuing exchange of fire, the US patrol killed one Said Muhammad, a resident of Wana, the headquarters of the South Waziristan Agency.
U.S.-1 Bad Guys-0
Hundreds of people shouting slogans against the US and Pakistani President General Pervez Musharraf, including some Islamic fundamentalist members of the newly elected NWFP Legislative Assembly, attended his funeral at Wana. On December 29 (some reports say that it was actually on December 30), another US patrol in Afghan territory adjoining the FATA came under fire from some elements in Pakistani territory. The firing stopped after a while. The head of the US patrol then asked the leader of a Pakistani paramilitary unit called the South Waziristan Scouts, which consists largely of Pashtun tribals recruited in the area - many of whom are related to members of the Taliban and who are responsible for security in the affected area - to trace those who had fired on the US patrol and hand them over for interrogation.
Right, like that's going to happen
The head of the Pakistani unit denied any knowledge of the identity of those responsible or their whereabouts. The South Waziristan Scouts allege that thereupon the US patrol tried to enter Pakistani territory to search for the assailants. The South Waziristan Scouts resisted this by opening fire on the US patrol. There was a heavy exchange of fire, during which the South Waziristan Scouts claim to have killed at least seven Americans, but American fatalities have not been admitted by the US authorities. Thwarted in its attempts to arrest the assailants, the US patrol called for an air strike. US helicopter gunships dropped three bombs on a double-storey madrassa-cum-mosque complex at a place called Angoor Adda, run by Maulana Muhammad Hassan, of the Taliban, who is alleged to be related to Said Muhammad. Only two bombs struck the madrassa, severely damaging it, while the third fell in an empty plot of ground nearby. According to the South Waziristan Scouts, nobody was in the madrassa complex, and hence the US bombing was uncalled for.
OK, that's their story, what's ours?
A statement on the incident issued by the US Army headquarters at the Bagram air base in Afghanistan said that an American soldier was wounded in an exchange of gunfire with a Pakistani border patrol, prompting the US to drop a bomb on the border area. It claimed that the American was part of a unit conducting a routine mission with Pakistani forces along the Afghan border when a disagreement appeared to break out. It added, "A Pakistani border scout opened fire with a G3 rifle after the US patrol asked him to return to the Pakistan side of the border. That individual and several others retreated to a nearby structure. Close air support was requested and one 500-lb bomb was dropped on the target area. We are working with the Pakistanis for an accurate battlefield damage assessment from the incident."
Second version, same as the first
According to another version given by Major Stephen Clutter, an Afghanistan-based spokesman of the US Army, the incident occurred on December 29 near the Afghan town of Sikhin along the border with Pakistan. A US F-16 fighter attacked a building after a man who injured a US soldier ran inside it. According to him, American and Pakistani troops were working together at the time to blow up a cache of munitions, when the shooter was told to leave the area. Instead, he crouched and began firing. Clutter said that the attacker might have been impersonating a Pakistani border guard. "I can't speculate what was in his mind." However, Pakistani officials have admitted that the attacker belonged to the South Waziristan Scouts. Clutter added, "Pakistan has been a loyal ally and I'm sure they're just as concerned about [this incident] as we are, if in fact he [the attacker] was a member of their force."
Being a PAO, I'm sure he managed to keep a straight face
Captain Alaine Cramer, another US Army spokesperson, claimed that the bomb had landed within Afghan territory, about 300 meters from a Pakistani border post. Major General Rashid Quereshi, the Islamabad-based spokesman of Musharraf, also claimed that the US plane attacked a target in Afghan and not Pakistani territory.
Methinks someone needs to decide where the border is. Locals say we bombed Pakland, the offical spokesdrones say it was in Afghanland. I'd wager its just over the line in Pakistan
The incident has caused considerable anger against the US and Musharraf in the Pashtun tribal belt. On January 1, the NWFP Legislative Assembly, where anti-US and pro-Osama bin Laden and pro-Taliban members of the Muttahida-Majlis-e-Amal (MMA), the six-party fundamentalist coalition, are in a majority, unanimously passed a resolution condemning the alleged US bombing of a madrassa-cum-mosque in Pakistani territory. The Jamaat-e-Islami has also condemned it. Before the national elections of October 10 last year, Musharraf, in his anxiety to break Benazir Bhutto's Pakistan People's Party (PPP) in the NWFP, caused a split in the PPP and withdrew charges under the anti-terrorism act and other laws against many Islamic fundamentalist elements in the province to enable them to contest the polls. The result: Islamic fundamentalist elements, many of them relatives of Taliban leaders and cadres, won a majority and are now in power in this area, which is vital for the US war against the Taliban and al-Qaeda. It has been reported that since the cabinet of the fundamentalist parties was sworn in, many members of al-Qaeda and the Taliban, who had taken shelter in Karachi, have drifted back to the NWFP and taken refuge in the madrassas there.
The FATA is directly administered by Islamabad and the fundamentalist government now in power in Peshawar does not have control over the administration there, but there, too, the fundamentalist parties have a strong presence. The Waziristan area has seen intense searches by the Pakistani security forces, assisted by experts from the US National Security Agency and the Federal Bureau of Investigation, since the beginning of last year since many fleeing al-Qaeda, Taliban, Chechen and Uzbeck terrorists had taken shelter there. While the Taliban and al-Qaeda elements dispersed to other parts of Pakistan, including Karachi, the Chechen and the Uzbeck elements, many of them married to Pashtun women, have stayed put, merged into the local population and have been harassing the US forces on the Afghan side of the border. They have recently been joined by the Pashtun members of Gulbuddin Hekmatyar's Hizb-e-Islami.
Guess those Pashtun babes are pretty hot, if the Chechen and Uzbeck guys are staying around for them.
Posted by: Steve || 01/02/2003 01:14 pm || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Yeah, NWFP is a jihadi center. And the MMA won in spite of its prohibition of female voting.
Posted by: Anonymous || 01/02/2003 20:37 Comments || Top||


Indocops nab Bodobadguy...
Police in India's eastern state of Sikkim say they have arrested a top separatist leader from the neighbouring state of Assam. Dhiren Boro, who heads the military wing of the outlawed National Democratic Front of Bodoland (NDFB) was arrested just past midnight from an apartment in Sikkim's capital, Gangtok. Two bodyguards, his wife and two children, who were with him, were also detained.
"Stick 'em up, kiddies! Yer under arrest!"
The NDFB has been involved in a violent campaign for an independent Bodo homeland since it was established 10 years ago. Sikkim police chief TN Tenzing told the BBC that a group of police commandos encircled the flat in which Dhiren Boro was staying with his family at least for the last six months.
He'd been living there for six months? And they just noticed? Musta been a master of disguise, huh? What gave him away?
Three assault rifles, several Chinese-made grenades and two wireless sets were recovered from the apartment.
I'll bet that was it...
"Harry! The man across the hall has two bodyguards, and they're all three carrying assault rifles and Chinese-made grenades!"
"Are you sure they're Chinese-made, Florine?"
"Yes. And I think the wireless sets are, too!"
"I'll call the coppers right away!"
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 01/02/2003 10:49 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:


Southeast Asia
Philippine Military Says Captures Abu Sayyaf Leader
The Philippine military said on Thursday it had captured a leader of the Abu Sayyaf, a gang of Muslim radicals linked by the United States to the al Qaeda network of Osama bin Laden.
Merang Abante, a middle-ranking leader of the Abu Sayyaf carrying a $18,500 bounty on his head, was apprehended near the southern city of Zamboanga, Armed Forces Southern Command Chief Leutenant General Narciso Abaya told reporters.
Somebody's going to be buying the beer
"Our intelligence unit is trying to establish what was his mission and to determine his possible participation in the spate of bombings in October and his possible participation in the kidnappings in Basilan or Jolo," Abaya said.
Truncheon alert
The Abu Sayyaf, which claims to be fighting for a separate Islamic state in the south of this predominantly Catholic country but is mainly notorious for kidnappings, has bases on the islands of Basilan and Jolo. The group is still holding three Indonesian seamen abducted in June from a Singaporean-owned tugboat off Jolo, and four woman evangelists kidnapped in August.
They've still got the Avon ladies?
Posted by: Steve || 01/02/2003 10:44 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:


Terror Networks
Tonga again linked to al-Qaeda
IN a persisting diplomatic nightmare, the South Pacific Kingdom of Tonga has again been linked to the world's most wanted outlaw, Osama bin Laden, observers say. The nation of just 109,000 people has acquired notoreity for get-rich-quick-schemes but this time Nuku'alofa, the capital, runs the risk of incurring Washington's wrath. The Washington Post newspaper this week quoted US intelligence officials as saying bin Laden's al-Qaeda terrorist network was moving operatives around the Mediterranean on a shipping fleet flagged in Tonga.
The Post said US intelligence officials had identified about 15 cargo freighters around the world that they believed were controlled by al-Qaeda or could be used by the terror network to ferry operatives, bombs, money or commodities over the high seas. Tonga's role goes back to 2000 and the arrival in Nuku'alofa of Peli Papadopoulos, who said he represented Axion Services Ltd in Piraeus, Greece. He persuaded authorities to allow him to run Tonga International Registry of Ships (TIRS) out of Athens. In a country turned into a laughing stock when the Californian court jester lost the kingdom's 50 million pa'anga ($35 million), around 40 per cent of the government's annual revenue, on an Arizona re-insurance scheme, the flag operation unsurprisingly turned sour.
In January last year Israeli commandos seized Karine A, a Tongan flagged ship, in the Red Sea and found it was carrying 50 tonnes of mainly Iranian weapons allegedly meant to be given to the Palestinians. Tongan Police Minister Clive Edwards said then that police were investigating what happened.
Last February, eight Pakistani men jumped off Tongan ship Twillinger, at the Italian port of Trieste after a trip from Cairo. The Post said US officials have since determined that al-Qaeda had sent the men. In June last year a Tongan government statement said TIRS was to be closed down. "International terrorism and an increase in people smuggling and asylum seekers were clearly key factors. Even our own region has felt the impact of these problems." Fielakepa said the government did not want Tonga's image to be further hurt by events beyond its control. In September Italian authorities intercepted another Tongan ship, Sara. They claimed it landed 15 Pakistani nationals, said to belong to al-Qaeda. In October Croatian police seized the Tongan registered ship Boka Star that they claimed was smuggling military explosives to Iraq.
Just prior to that, Edwards told the Tongan parliament that police were trying to close down the registry and added that Tonga had not only not made any money on the deal, but that it had lost $US300,000 ($530,000) in the scheme.
Not only greedy, but stupid as well. Humm, now if I was looking for a nice small country to overthrow..............
Posted by: Steve || 01/02/2003 08:47 pm || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  !Didn't somebody do that a year or two ago? Or was that Fiji? But, boy, those South Sea island babes would make it worthwhile
Posted by: Fred || 01/02/2003 22:52 Comments || Top||


Home Front
Roosevelt Carrier Battle Group( Norfolk) to prepare to deploy
By JACK DORSEY, The Virginian-Pilot
© January 3, 2003
Last updated 10:16 PM Jan. 2

NORFOLK -- The carrier Theodore Roosevelt battle group could be headed to sea as soon as Monday for training that would certify it for early deployment, sources said. The Roosevelt is not scheduled to deploy until late spring, but smooth sailing in the certification trials could take the George Washington, another Norfolk-based battle group, off the redeployment hook.

The GW, which returned from a six-month deployment two weeks ago, is the Atlantic Fleet's "ready carrier," meaning it is on call in case of an emergency. It has been ordered to be ready to redeploy within 96 hours notice.

Once the Roosevelt completes the mandatory training, which takes about three weeks, it becomes the Atlantic Fleet's "ready carrier," and the GW is likely to go into the shipyard for scheduled work.

Many crew members from the Roosevelt, its air wing and support ships are being told to prepare for the possibility that they won't return to port after the training if they are called upon to beef up forces in the Middle East.

A 12-ship battle group led by the Norfolk-based carrier Harry S. Truman deployed Dec. 5 and is in the Mediterranean Sea.
According to globalsecurity.org, She's in Crete.....
Three ships from the GW battle group remain deployed: the guided missile frigate Kauffman, the guided missile destroyer Barry and the destroyer Arthur W. Radford. They are scheduled, at least for now, to return to Hampton Roads this month.

Meanwhile, the Navy says it has notified the Puerto Rican government that it intends to use its bombing range on the island of Vieques as early as Jan. 13 to help train the TR battle group and its air wing in a new round of bombing and shelling practice. The maneuvers, involving aircraft and ships' guns, could last up to 29 days. No live ammunition will be used.
Please, you're insulting our intelligence here.
The announcement brought immediate opposition from Gov. Sila Calderon, who wrote President Bush opposing the use of the island for such purposes. Following more than three years of concentrated protests, the Navy has agreed to leave the island in May.
Obviously, someone down south didnt get the memo.....
The Committee for the Rescue and Development of Vieques said it would prepare new protests and acts of civil disobedience as a result of the latest training maneuvers.Can I see a show of hands for anyone who gives a damn?, anyone?, I thought so.... The group has used private boats and rock throwing in the past in an attempt to disrupt the training. Thereby simulating the effectiveness of the Iraqi air defense systems.

The TR-GW scenario is just part of the deployment-related activity swirling around Hampton Roads. Alert notifications and "prepare to deploy" notices are increasing as the U.S. military continues its buildup for a possible conflict with Iraq.

Posted by: Frank Martin || 01/02/2003 09:27 pm || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:


Axis of Evil
Arab states may ask Sammy to stand down
Arab governments keen to avert another Gulf war will try to convince Saddam Hussein to step down if a US-led military campaign becomes imminent. Saudi Arabia is already pressing Washington to allow the Arabs a last opportunity for a diplomatic breakthrough if Iraq is found in violation of its disarmament obligations after the January 27 report to the Security Council by UN inspectors. Prince Saud al-Feisal, the Saudi foreign minister, said last week that the kingdom had not asked Mr Hussein to step down. But he also said that if war becomes imminent, "we hope that there would be an opportunity given to the Arab countries to mitigate the situation".
Maybe they should do that now, get it out of the way?
"One of the proposals on the table is that, after the UN report, a decision on war should not be hasty but that Arabs should be given another chance to look at the situation," said an Arab official. "One option is for [Mr Hussein] to depart. He's not thinking about it now, but it could be different when the Americans are serious about the alternative of war."
Why aren't they looking at the situation now? Because it's ugly? Don't they believe the Americans are serious about the alternative of war?
The US and Britain hope that as the pressure builds on Mr Hussein in the run-up to possible war, a military general or other regime insider would depose the Iraqi leader. Former Iraqi officials say that although Mr Hussein has until now been "coup proof", the country's military will be encouraged to risk pushing him out should war become inevitable. Arab officials cautioned that it remained too early to press Mr Hussein to relinquish power; inspections are proceeding smoothly and the Iraqi leader still believes he can buy time and save his regime.
Hmmm... Second time in five days this idea's floated to the surface. I think the idea of Sammy stepping down is what Bush is really pushing for — achieving the objectives of a war without the blood and the stink. Maybe someone will bang Sammy and Uday and Qusay, but without that happening — I sure hope Bush isn't bluffing with all these troop buildups.
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 01/02/2003 08:04 pm || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Technically, the one with the weak hand is the one who "bluffs". Our Texan president knows when he's got a good hand. Its the other Arab governments who are losing their nerve: they're acting AS IF Saddam's going to blow his game with the inspectors, so they want him to leave the game and let an ARAB government control Iraqui oil.

I think Saddam is canny enough to see that they're nervous, and self-deluded enough to believe he'll win the WMD shell game. He'll tell them to shut the f*ck up, stop distracting HIM, and concentrate on distracting the USA.
Posted by: Ptah || 01/02/2003 20:34 Comments || Top||

#2  "...if war becomes imminent..."

what the hell, haven't they been paying attention to Rantburg??? or atleast CNN
Posted by: Anonymous || 01/03/2003 3:35 Comments || Top||

#3  The strategy is working and we haven't fired a shot. The sheiks, mullahs and majesties know that even an imperfect but democratic and mildly prosperous Iraq would be the end of all of them.
Posted by: Warthog || 01/03/2003 6:12 Comments || Top||


Home Front
Military Journalists Mobilize For Operation Enduring Freedom
Travis AFB Troops Mobilize For Operation Enduring Freedom
Group Made Up Of Military Journalists, Public Affairs Personnel

FAIRFIELD, Calif. -- National Guard troops based in Fairfield mobilized Thursday to participate in Operation Enduring Freedom.
Operation short-time-saddam being judged too obvious....
Members of the National Guard's 69th Press Camp Headquarters spent the last few weeks preparing for deployment.
They packed up and headed to Fort Lewis, Wash., Thursday morning. That's where they'll get their deployment orders.
"It really doesn't concern us too much where we're going, whatever mission is given to us," said Lt. Col. Matt Beevers.Col. Beevers? are the kidding us?
The group's deployment destination is classified.
The press camp is made up of military journalists and public affairs personnel. In recent months, the troops have undergone nuclear, biological and chemical weapons training.

Run for the hills!, its the J-school boys!
Posted by: Frank Martin || 01/02/2003 04:05 pm || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Dear God, not the DINFOS Trained Killers! Run for the hills! Hide your women and sheep!
Posted by: Steve || 01/02/2003 17:55 Comments || Top||

#2  And the liquor!
Posted by: Fred || 01/02/2003 20:31 Comments || Top||


Axis of Evil
Iraqis know beforehand what facility will be inspected
UN experts in Iraq checked on Wednesday the al-Hareth military facility which repairs missiles for the Iraqi air defense system and the Al-Majd repair plant engaged in maintenance of heavy-duty equipment. The UN routinely made no comments on the visits. Meanwhile, one of the more than 100 international experts working in the country said on condition of anonymity that they now have to act like thieves. Despite the secrecy which seemingly veils their work, he said, Iraqis always know beforehand what facility will be visited, and so advise its personnel about the upcoming inspection, according to the pan-Arab daily Ash-Sharq Al Awsat. The expert complained that Iraqis are equipped with faster cars and better means of communications than the teams from the UN Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission (UNMOVIC) and the
International Atomic Energy Agency. The newspaper cited the expert as saying that the executives and personnel of the Iraqi companies due to be visited, appear to be always ready for inspections. In his view, the conspiracy to which the UN teams have to resort is unavailing. For example, UN experts avoid talking to each other in the presence of the Iraqi monitoring commission, preferring to communicate by exchanging notes instead.
I read another report where the director of the air defense repair facility (SAMs) complained that the U.N. woke him up at 6AM on New Years Day telling him they were inspecting him that day. Seems like some people on the U.N. team are trying to do their job and others are tipping off the Iraqis. What a surprise, NOT!
Posted by: Steve || 01/02/2003 01:51 pm || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Hey... wait a minute I thought this was a NEWS blog! Everyone except Kofi Annan has known this for at least a month.

I want my money back, pronto!
Posted by: Ryan Waxx || 01/02/2003 15:21 Comments || Top||

#2  You see, it's because of those fast cars them Iraqis have. I'd bet everytime the inspectors try to move, they get unexpectedly stuck in a traffic jam. After all, gas is cheap in Iraq.
Posted by: Anonymous || 01/02/2003 15:31 Comments || Top||

#3  Hey, I hear the U.S. Army has some really fast transportation... >;D
Posted by: Just John || 01/02/2003 16:16 Comments || Top||

#4  Actually, I heard recently that the Iraquis are balking providing the inspectors with helicopters. Given that AWACS knows everything manmade that's in the air, it's a simple matter to demand that the iraquis ground everything while the UN is in the air, and know whether they're cooperating or not. Provided that the chopper pilots are not iraquis, that'll negate the fast car advantage and sidestep the traffic jam maneuver.

Now it makes sense when they were sooo cooperative. That is, until UNMOVIC and IAEA started asking for choppers.
Posted by: Ptah || 01/02/2003 20:40 Comments || Top||

#5  The U.S. Air Force has some transportation that's even quicker!
Posted by: theSarge || 01/02/2003 22:02 Comments || Top||

#6  None of this solves the underlying problem: the Iraqi's are good at hiding stuff and have a very tight police state. It is likely they've cleared out most sites that the UN might inspect based on past inspections or advice from the US or the UK. Even if Blix's boys can chopper in unannounced, they'll find nothing. Only recent defectors can provide the timely information and Saddam keeps them under wraps.
Posted by: JAB || 01/03/2003 9:46 Comments || Top||


Home Front
WWII Ace Joe Foss Dies at 87
Joe Foss, a decorated war hero, former South Dakota governor, first commissioner of the American Football League and past president of the National Rifle Association, died Wednesday in Scottsdale. He was 87.
A prominent World War II hero, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt personally awarded him the Medal of Honor in 1943 after the Marine fighter pilot shot down 26 Japanese planes during the battle for Guadalcanal. Life magazine put Foss on the cover of its June 7, 1943, issue, calling him "America's No. 1 Ace."
Joseph Jacob Foss was born on April 17, 1915, on a farm near Sioux Falls, S.D. He once said his love for flying dated back to when he attended an air show in Sioux Falls, S.D., at age 12 that featured aviator Charles A. Lindbergh. But the road to becoming a pilot was not easy. A month before Joe's 18th birthday, his father was electrocuted by a downed power line in a lightning storm. The teenager had to help his mother and his brother, Cliff, work the farm. Working at odd jobs, he managed to scrape together enough money to afford flying lessons and graduate from the University of South Dakota with a bachelor's degree in business administration at age 24.
Seeking a chance to fly, he joined the Marines and won his wings in March 1941, nine months before the United States entered the war. On Oct. 9, 1942, he landed his Wildcat on Guadalcanal at the southern end of the Solomons, the setting for the first U.S. land offensive in the Pacific.
The 1st Marine Division had go ashore on Aug. 7, 1942, to seize a partly built airstrip that was later renamed Henderson Field. In October, the Marines were hanging onto the strip in the face of fierce Japanese efforts to retake the island and use it as a staging point to attack Australia, 1,600 miles to the south.
Flying out of Henderson Field over the next three months, Foss and his fliers, a band known as "Foss' Flying Circus" for its acrobatic maneuvers, played a major role in defending Guadalcanal. Foss shot down 26 Japanese planes, earning a distinction as the first fighter pilot to break the 1918 aerial record of Eddie Rickenbacker, who shot down 25 German planes in World War I. In May 1943, Foss was called back to Washington, D.C., to lead the campaign for U.S. War Bonds. In addition to the Medal of Honor, the highest honor for valor in the United States, he received a Silver Star, a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart. He also earned the Distinguished Flying Cross.
Returning to South Dakota, he ran the Joe Foss Flying Service and organized the South Dakota Air National Guard.
A Republican, Foss served in the South Dakota Legislature for five years before becoming, at 39, the youngest governor in the history of the state in 1955. He served two two-year terms.
In November 1959, the club owners who were forming the American Football League selected Foss as commissioner, hoping that his contacts in Washington could help them in an anticipated struggle with the long-established National Football League.
As commissioner, Foss indulged his lifelong passion for hunting and fishing as host of The American Sportsman on ABC.
Foss resigned as AFL commissioner on April 1966. Less than two months later, the league announced plans to merge with the NFL.
Foss turned to television again, appearing on his syndicated series The Outdoorsman: Joe Foss from 1966 to 1974. The programs drew criticism from environmentalists and advocates of animal rights. He encountered controversy again as president of the National Rifle Association from 1988 to 1990.
On Jan. 29, 1990, he appeared on the cover of Time magazine with a pistol in his hand. "I say all guns are good guns," he told Time for its article on gun control. "There are no bad guns. I say the whole nation should be an armed nation. Period."
Friend Todd Rathner, 37, of Tucson said among NRA board members only the actor Charlton Heston outshone him in terms of celebrity. "He had a great sense of what America is all about, and how precious our freedoms are, and how important it is to fight for them every day, in every way you can," said Sandy Froman, 52, of Tucson, second vice president of the NRA.

Foss found himself unexpectedly in the news last February when Sky Harbor security guards pulled him aside, in part, because he was carrying his Medal of Honor and someone thought the star-shaped award could be used as a weapon. He also had two dummy bullets in his pockets. One was a hollowed bullet on a key chain. The other was a piece of silver metal molded into the shape of a bullet and given to him by Heston.
Security guards agreed to let Foss mail the key chain home to himself, but confiscated his "silver bullet."

Foss was visiting Beaverton, Mich., in October when he suffered an aneurysm. He had planned to give a speech in support his great-nephew, Justin Mishler, who had applied to attend the U.S. Military Academy. He was later moved from a hospital in Michigan to Scottsdale where he and his wife lived.
Attention on deck! Medal of Honor winner arriving in Heaven. God bless you, Joe.
Posted by: Steve || 01/02/2003 12:49 pm || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  I guess Marion Carl needed a wingman......
Posted by: Frank Martin || 01/02/2003 12:59 Comments || Top||

#2  We've lost another good one.

May he rest in peace.
Posted by: Kathy K || 01/02/2003 20:12 Comments || Top||

#3  "...And all the trumpets sounded for him on the other side." - John Bunyan
Posted by: Ptah || 01/02/2003 20:55 Comments || Top||

#4  I've been a Joe Foss fan since I first read about his WWII exploits when I was 10 years old. As an adult, I've always marveled at what a full and interesting life he has lead. I thought the NFL treated him rather shabbily when I read some years ago that they couldn't be bothered to "comp" him some tickets to the Super Bowl but his attitude was "who cares?" I mean, how cool is that? Tom Brokaw interviewed him for a "Greatest Generation" bit and even though he was around 80 years old at the time, he was as cool as Robert Mitchum in his prime. And he always had great hair! God Speed Joe Foss!
Posted by: JDB || 01/03/2003 0:38 Comments || Top||


Axis of Evil
Corsair on the South Koreans...
Corsair, who knows much more about Korea and the Koreans than I do, thinks the South Koreans may eventually notice that we've noticed:
It is pretty clear to most that when you have huge crowds of people standing around in the cold who are willing to rip up the national symbol of a country who has stood by you for more than 50 years that you are not well liked. The tree we seem to be barking up is one of open hostility. As the editorial in the New York Times says, we do not stay where we are not wanted. We left the Philipines for similar reasons a few years ago and it wouldn't take all that much to leave South Korea.

Now for the misunderstanding. When did the New York Times become a mouthpiece for "conservatives of the country"? What this editorial says to someone who actually knows what the Times stands for is this call for withdrawal is even more serious than if it was only conservatives asking for us to get out. When you get a convergence of conservatives who might want us out because we are sick of seeing our national symbol torn up and dragged through the mud ("Screw the little ingrate bastards. If they want to get overrun by the commie hordes rather than live with us, let 'em!") and their counterparts on the liberal side ("You don't want us? Fine! We will take our toys and go home") then South Korea should start to see that maybe they have gone too far. Koreans, however have a hard time seeing when things get out of control. It is all a big group game until someone gets hurt.

More demonstrations are planned for next week. Let us see if certain truths have been transmitted to the leaders of those demonstrations by the incoming Roh administration. I would expect something on the order of "turn it down a couple of notches before the US really does get pissed".
Whoops. Too late. Cease and desist the anti-American demonstrations right this moment, pretend they never occurred, and it's still too late. The damage has been done, the cat's out of the bag, Pandora's box has been opened. At least we know what they really think. And I'm still in favor of showing them what our National Finger looks like.
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 01/02/2003 12:55 pm || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Maybe some of you military types can answer a practical question:

How hard is it to pull out of NK safely and with all of our gear if the order is given? I assume it will not be easy as we do not want to risk being attacked in the middle of the withdrawal process when we might not be in a good defensive posture. Also, I figure some of our bases have a lot of equipment (maintenance shops, port facilities?) that is difficult to move. Plus, sealift capacity may be scarce right now. Do we make contingency plans for that type of thing?

Posted by: JAB || 01/02/2003 13:58 Comments || Top||

#2  I'm sure we already have them, at least roughed in. A withdrawal would probably be phased over a period of time - six months to two years. Bases are leased from the South Korean government and would simply revert. Stuff we wanted to keep would be packed up and shipped, other stuff would be sold, donated to the SKors, or destroyed. Physical security would be covered by the Marines whatever army we still have left in Japan, and - assuming relations hadn't deteriorated to the punching phase - by the ROK army.
Posted by: Fred || 01/02/2003 14:35 Comments || Top||

#3  Politically, it would make zero sense for NKor to attack while we were withdrawing... our forces there serve to bring us into the conflict if NKor attacks.

You would have to be a gibbering maniac to attack SKor *and* USA when you can wait a year and just fight SKor.

Oh wait... I begin to see your point...
Posted by: Ryan Waxx || 01/02/2003 15:26 Comments || Top||

#4  Sez here that the SKors are already starting to worry about the possibility
Posted by: Christopher Johnson || 01/02/2003 17:38 Comments || Top||

#5  Honestly...it would be tough in less than 2 - 3 years.
On an emergency basis, we would get the dependents out ASAP (don't forget, there are probably 20K+ wives, husbands, and children of US personnel here). But - they get out with little besides their lives and the clothes on their backs. We could fly the air capable assets (F-16s, A-10s, US Army choppers) to Japan in or hours. The 37,000 troops would take at least a month, even with mass nationalization of the US civilian air fleet. It's the major ground assets (tanks, trucks, arty, war reserve materials) that would take severe sea lift. We have been stockpiling stuff here since 1953! Our only options would be to turn it over to the ROKs, or destroy it.
If we have more time, it would be easier to just stop filling billets as people leave. Most people are here on one year assignments. Of course, as you manning goes down, your ability to deter the Chonger goes down also, and maybe not in a straight arithmatic function. Is there a tipping point, where the nK suddenly feels that the number of US bodies no longer constitutes a valid trip wire to bring in the US? Is that 5K gone, 12K, 25K? Ya got me.
This scenario would be orderly, but still doesn't allow us to move more than a fraction of the heavy assets. We got to get all this stuff out of garrison or storage, down the (generally narrow) roads without running over school girls, to the ports, loaded on ships...
Posted by: theSarge || 01/02/2003 22:27 Comments || Top||


Today’s Turkish Press News
More tidbits from Turkish news relating to Iraq
Turkey which attributes great importance to territorial integrity of Iraq, is opposed to foundation of an independent Kurdish state in Northern Iraq. Ankara thinks that Swiss model could be put into practice in Iraq following a possible military operation against Iraq. In that case, Kurds, Turkmen people and other ethnic groups will have cantons under a sound central administration in Baghdad.

State Minister Kursad Tuzmen will go to Iraq on January 10 together with a delegation of 150 businessmen. During his visit to Iraq, Tuzmen will convey Prime Minister Abdullah Gul's message to Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. In his message, Prime Minister Gul will ask Iraqi administration to abide by resolutions of the United Nations and to cooperate with weapon inspectors.

Military activities are increasing in Southeast region while a possible operation against Iraq is closing. Food and military equipment are continuing to be dispatched to the units which took position in Northern Iraq border. Military traffic speeded up in Silopi township of Southeastern Sirnak province which is the easiest connection point with Northern Iraq. Meanwhile, Justice and Development Party (AK Party) government which is distressed by the military requests of the United States is carrying on its diplomatic efforts to find peaceful solutions for Iraq problem.

Bargaining has been continuing between Turkey and the United States about a possible military operation against Iraq. U.S. Under Secretary of Treasury John Taylor and U.S. State Department Under Secretary Marc Grossman, U.S. Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Richard Myers is expected to come to Turkey in coming days. The issue of Iraq is expected to high on agenda during General Myers' visit to Turkey.

The fifth search and rescue exercise in which Turkey, the United States and Israel participated has started. The exercise which is fulfilled prior to the United States' possible operation against Iraq is considered as the sign of the military and political cooperation between the three countries.
Posted by: Steve || 01/02/2003 11:54 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Clever move on the part of the Turks to cite the "Swiss model". only someone really sophisticated in democratic models will realize that there's not much difference between a canton and a U.S. state, and that another name for the Swiss model is "federalism". however, citing the political model of the Americans would unnecessarily raise hackles, while citing the Swiss model gives rise to sweet images of swiss bank accounts.
Posted by: Ptah || 01/02/2003 20:50 Comments || Top||


V Corps troops in Germany get orders
A group of V Corps soldiers got their marching orders for the Middle East on New Year’s Eve. The orders are the first of what officials expect to be a flurry of deployments to the region from Germany in the opening weeks of 2003. Some 800 troops from four of the corps’ main support units will deploy to the Middle East over the next month, V Corps spokesman Maj. Dean Thurmond said. “They will be deployed for an undetermined period of time,” said Thurmond. Soldiers on holiday leave will not be affected, he said. “The deployment will take place over the next month or so, so there’s really no reason to cancel leave.”
The vast majority of the contingent, Thurmond, said, will come from the 94th Engineer Battalion (Heavy), part of the corps’ 130th Engineer Brigade. Led by Lt. Col. Paul Grosskruger, the battalion is known as the Wolverines and is based in Vilseck, Germany. With more than 100 pieces of heavy construction equipment, the battalion specializes in building up infrastructure — airfields, roads, barracks and other support facilities — in time of war.
Also handy for bridging rivers, got a couple of those around Baghdad
In addition to the engineers, soldiers from the 205th Military Intelligence Brigade, communications experts from the 22nd Signal Brigade, and truck drivers, mechanics and logisticians from the 3rd Corps Support Command will also be deploying.
Logistics win wars
The latest group of V Corps soldiers will follow a 550-soldier task force of attack helicopters from V Corps’ 11th Aviation Brigade, which deployed to Kuwait in October, as well as a cadre of headquarters staff, which has kept the corps command post up and running inside Iraq’s tiny southern neighbor following top-level war games there last month.
Yup, the HQ is still operational, ready for kickoff
Headquartered in Heidelberg, Lt. Gen. William Wallace’s V Corps leads the vast majority of combat units in Europe, including the 1st Infantry Division and 1st Armored Division.
The leaders of those units — along with top staffs of the U.S.-based 1st Cavalry Division and 101st Airborne Division — are slated to gather in Germany for war games under V Corps in mid-January. Dubbed Victory Scrimmage, the exercises are designed to flesh out invasion plans into Iraq, should the White House order the military to remove Saddam Hussein from power.
Dotting the I's and crossing the T's
While Thurmond declined to say specifically where the V Corps contingent was heading, a senior military official familiar with the orders said the majority of soldiers would be going to Kuwait, adding the deployment is only the first wave. “There will be more to follow in the coming weeks,” the official said privately.
Gathering speed, and hardly anyone back home who isn't paying close attention even notices it's happening
Posted by: Steve || 01/02/2003 11:34 am || Comments || Link || [1 views] Top|| File under:

#1  V Corps used to be headquarted in Frankfurt - when did that change?
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut || 01/02/2003 11:56 Comments || Top||

#2  A few years ago. Everyone who wasn't disbanded moved down south to Heidelburg. All the facilities in Frankfurt were returned, except 97th hospital which is mothballed. Only thing left in Frankfurt, as far as I know, is AFN. They plan to move south as soon as new facilities are built. Sigh, the PX/Commisary compound including the Topper Club was torn down for a new police training facility. Spent many a night in the Topper Club, met my future wife there. Good times.
Posted by: Steve || 01/02/2003 12:09 Comments || Top||

#3  101st Airborne Division — are slated to gather in Germany for war games under V Corps in mid-January. Dubbed Victory Scrimmage....

Meaning the attack will not come in January but a minimum of 60 days after?
Posted by: Anonymous || 01/02/2003 12:14 Comments || Top||

#4  Anonymous:

If I read the article correctly, this is a staff exercise. The only people from the 101st going to Germany are a troupe of officers. The helicopters and men with guns will be . . . oh, someplace with a lot of sand, I'd wager.

This will not delay the liberation of Iraq. Modern communications being what they are, those officers in Germany could issue orders to the troops without having to leave the Hofbrauhaus. Alternatively, the Middle East is just a C-130 ride away.
Posted by: Mike || 01/02/2003 12:43 Comments || Top||

#5  Here's a question: how many of our people will RETURN to Germany after Iraq is over? My guess, and it isn't original, is that this is the start of the eventual removal of our forces from Germany. Schroeder's cracks last year haven't been forgotten and there are other European countries would would LOVE to have our people stationed: Poland, Czech Republic, and Hungary to name a few...
Posted by: R. McLeod || 01/03/2003 2:55 Comments || Top||


Estonian president calls on citizens to make more babies
Worried about a declining population, Estonia's president has urged the country's 1.4 million residents to make more babies. "Let us remember that in just a couple of decades the number of Estonians seeing the New Year will be one-fifth less than today," President Arnold Ruutel said in a speech broadcast live on national television Wednesday. Estonia's small population is getting smaller by the day, according to statistics from the Social Welfare Ministry.
So, come on, ladies! Get out there and hump! It's your national duty...
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 01/02/2003 11:12 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Baltic chicks are HOT!

Of course they could just boot out all the Russians that the Communists resettled there since 1946.
Posted by: Chuck || 01/02/2003 11:16 Comments || Top||


North Africa
Egypt Arrests 14 Suspected Islamist Activists
Egypt on Thursday arrested 14 suspected members of the outlawed Muslim Brotherhood, the biggest opposition force in the Arab country, police and sources in the Islamist group said.
Ten men were seized while meeting in a Cairo suburb and the others were taken from their homes around Egypt, Islamist lawyer Abdel-Moneim Abdel-Maqsoud told Reuters. Police said the detainees, mainly university professors and lawyers, include Tarek Abdel-Gawad, the grandson of the group's former leader Mustafa Mashhur, who died in November. One detainee, Ahmed Mahmoud, served three years in prison after a 1995 trial of dozens of suspected members. Since the September 11 attacks on U.S. cities, Egypt has stepped up its crackdown on the Brotherhood, seen as the biggest opposition movement in Egypt.
The group, which the government says is a front for Islamic militants, wants to implement Islamic law by constitutional means. The authorities officially banned it in 1954.
The Egyptian government wouldn't mind them so much if these guys weren't trying to overthrow them. Only one autocratic regime at a time.
Posted by: Steve || 01/02/2003 10:48 am || Comments || Link || [1 views] Top|| File under:

#1  his mother named him after his father's alias
Posted by: Anonymous || 01/02/2003 12:28 Comments || Top||

#2  "Ahmed Mahmoud"? That's not an assumed name? C'mon!
Posted by: Fred || 01/02/2003 11:02 Comments || Top||


Axis of Evil
North Koreans flee into Vietnam
Border police in Vietnam say they are searching for three North Koreans who escaped from police custody last week after crossing the border from China. It is believed to be the first time that North Koreans have fled into Communist Vietnam, a close ally of Pyongyang. A woman who was travelling with the group remains in a small provincial hospital. Police in the northern Vietnamese border province of Ha Giang said the four were taken into custody by border police last Wednesday.
That's a switch... Apparently any place, including the jungles of norther Vietnam and the arid wastes of Outer Mongolia, is better than North Korea.
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 01/02/2003 10:35 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Something fishy about this. It is a long, long way from the China/Korea border to the China/Vietnam border. Chinese 'security' officials are ubiquitious along the road between there and there. The only way escapes could get to Vietnam is if China allowed them; so China is probably sending a message to NKor. Of course, the dear leader isn't likely to 'get it' unless the Chinese ambassador tells him the real message to his face, maybe not even then.
Posted by: mhw || 01/02/2003 13:14 Comments || Top||

#2  Even if you aren't shot or imprisoned or starved up there, most likely you will be bored to death....

10 big events in Pyongyang in 2002
Pyongyang, December 31 (KCNA) -- Kang Min Jong of the Institute for North Korean Studies in South Korea issued an article titled "10 big events in Pyongyang in 2002", according to radio Voice of National Salvation from Seoul. He singled out the following 10 big events in Pyongyang in 2002:
The first. The "meeting to congratulate the sun of the 21st century" was held in Mt. Paektu on the occasion of the birthday of leader Kim Jong Il. The second. Grand commemorations were held on the occasion of the 90th birth anniversary of President Kim Il Sung. The third. Kim Jong Il met with the president's special envoy of the south side, once again paving a broad avenue for reunification.
The fourth. Kim Jong Il sent his autographic message reading "Let us name the baby girl Chuk Bok as she was born amidst the blessings of the people of the whole country" to Ri Jae Ryong, a former unconverted long-term prisoner who turned almost 60, when his daughter was born. The fifth. 100,000-strong mass gymnastic and artistic performance Arirang was presented from April to August, creating a great sensation. The sixth. In August Kim Jong Il paid a visit to the Far Eastern Region of Russia, evoking worldwide response. The seventh. Ground-breaking ceremonies took place in September to reconnect rail and road links between the north and the south of Korea.
The eighth. The Japanese Prime Minister visited Pyongyang and the DPRK-Japan Pyongyang Declaration was published. The ninth. The Pyongyang beauty cheering group attended the 14th Asian Games, raising "Pyongyang wind." The tenth. A spokesman for the Foreign Ministry of the DPRK in a statement announced its decision to lift the freeze of its nuclear facilities and immediately resume their operation and construction to generate electricity to cope with the obtaining situation.
Posted by: tu3031 || 01/02/2003 14:34 Comments || Top||

#3  Speaking on condition of anonimity, a senior government official in Hell reported dozens of North Korean refugees arriving in recent days. "We're overwhelmed! The sheer numbers are limiting our ability to place them. And they all seem so happy to get here... We're thinking about appealing to Heaven for aid."
Posted by: Chuck || 01/02/2003 11:15 Comments || Top||

#4  Arirang is a song about wishing your girlfriend had food poisoning and dies. I loved singing that song in high school choir...
Posted by: Brian || 01/03/2003 0:38 Comments || Top||


East/Subsaharan Africa
Sudan 'ceasefire broken'
SPLA rebels and the Sudanese Government have accused each other of attacks in oil-producing areas in the south, breaking a truce signed last year. The temporary ceasefire is supposed to last while peace talks continue in neighbouring Kenya.
But there was no way in Hell that was going to happen...
The negotiations over issues such as sharing oil wealth and the distribution of political spoils jobs at the government trough in the federal civil service are set to resume within the next two weeks.
If there's anybody left alive to talk to...
"Government forces supported by militias... are carrying out since 31 December a large-scale attack using tanks and helicopter gunships on our positions... in the Western Upper Nile region," the SPLA said in a statement. Some 1,500 fighters and helicopter gunships were involved in the offensive south of the city of Bentiu, according to the SPLA.
"Yeah! They started it, damn them!"
Army spokesman Mohamed Basher Sulieman in turn accused the rebels of killing three oil workers in the same region. He said that the SPLA offensive was repulsed.
"They hit us first!"
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 01/02/2003 10:50 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:


Home Front
Pakistani: ''Hey! That's my face in that wanted poster!''
A Pakistani man has accused the US Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) of mistaking him for a suspected terrorist. Mohammad Asghar said on Thursday in Lahore that his photograph had been used to identify an Arab named as Mustafa Khan Owasi. On Sunday, the FBI posted on its website photographs of five Middle Eastern men suspected of being smuggled across the border from Canada. Mr Asghar, a jeweller, says he has never been to the US and has only left Pakistan once.
Cheeze. So now, we not only don't know what their real names are, or where they are, but we don't even know what they look like...
He says he went to the United Arab Emirates two months ago when he tried to fly to Britain using forged documents. But he was picked up, questioned and deported before he could board a flight to the UK.
I'm tellin' ya, there ain't no such thing as legitimate documents in Pakalonia, and fewer of them in Arabia...
"Anybody who wants to ask me any questions, I'm willing to co-operate," he was quoted by the Associated Press as saying.
Okay: What were you going to blow up when you tried to false document your way into Britain?
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 01/02/2003 10:24 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  It seems time for a Mulla Nasruddin story:

The Mulla was checking in at the airport, and he was asked for his identification. The good mulla pulled out a hand-mirror, pointed at his face in it, and said, "That's me!"


Now for the next 7 or 8 stories...
Posted by: Tresho || 01/02/2003 18:25 Comments || Top||

#2  Radio caller in TO this morning admitted that the phoney documents he "lost" when entering Canada were sent back to Pakland to be reused by the next guy. Welcome to Canada, Firesign Inc.
Posted by: john || 01/02/2003 19:29 Comments || Top||

#3  This is starting to sound like an old Firesign Theatre bit:

"Excuse me sir, but this passport photo looks nothing like you."

"Lies! All Lies!"
Posted by: mojo || 01/02/2003 10:41 Comments || Top||


Axis of Evil
Riots, arrests hit Iranian city after illegal CD, video crackdown
Daily TImes (Pakistan)
Iran’s southwestern city of Ahvaz has been hit by widespread rioting following a crackdown on shops selling illegal videos and CDs, an MP told parliament on Tuesday.
Illegal vids and CDs, is it? How depraved!
Urging government action to end the tensions, reformist MP Jassem Shadidzadeh said at least 300 young people had been arrested in the unrest, during which one bank was set on fire and a major road link cut. “Clashes broke out after the judiciary in Khuzestan province ordered the police, without coordinating with the Khuzestan governor’s office and the intelligence ministry, to shut down centres producing and distributing CDs in Ahvaz,” Shadidzadeh said in comments carried on state radio. “Security forces resorted to violence and used tear gas to stop people, mostly young students. Three hundred students ranging in age from 12 to 18 have been arrested and seven schools have been closed. For about a week, Ahvaz city has been tense. One bank has been burned down and the road from Khorramshahr to Ahvaz has been blocked for two days.”
After the ayatollahs have been hanged, these kids are probably gonna become antiglobalists. But for now — I'm rooting for the kiddies.
The Ahvaz MP was later quoted as telling the student news agency ISNA that he had demanded the local security chief be fired. “This is part of a wider programme,” he said, accusing hardliners in the security forces of running a long-running campaign of provocation dating back to student demonstrations in November.
Good man, Shadidzadeh. Not that anything'll happen to the instigators in this case, but it's good practice for when they have a real parliament, after the ayatollahs are dead...
Press reports said the rioting broke out when hundreds of police and vigilantes launched a crackdown on scores of shops distributing foreign video cassettes and video CDs. The operation was also aimed at owners of banned satellite television equipment in residential areas, reports said. The clampdown led to 47 people being sentenced to lashings for selling “indecent and obscene films”.
Can't have decent Medes and Persians watching "Sex in the City," can you? It'll unravel their turbans — and no telling what it'll do to the wimmin!
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 01/02/2003 10:16 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Theyre all whipped up after watching VCD copies of Mystery Science Theatre 3000's "Red Zone Cuba". A movie so bad it will make you want to gouge your eyes out with a fork.

Its only watchable at all under the guidance of the MST3k Crew.
Posted by: Frank Martin || 01/02/2003 12:18 Comments || Top||


Malaysian PM steps in on flasher row
Malaysian men flashing their genitals at women may get more exposure than they want if Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad has his way. The Prime Minister has advised the public to seize the sarongs of flashers and leave them naked so that the wrap-around cloth can be used as evidence, local media has reported.
Ow. I just squirted hot coffee out my nose...
Dr Mahathir was commenting on the case of a member of Malaysia's Opposition Islamic Party who was accused of flashing his private parts at a female member of the ruling party by lifting his sarong during a tough by-election campaign.
An Islamist muckety-muck flashed his gennies at a lady MP? Don't they take your turban away for that sort of thing?
Razak Abas, 52, a former parliamentary candidate for the Parti Islam SeMalaysia (PAS), was acquitted in court last month, partly on the grounds that the prosecution had failed to produce the sarong he wore during the alleged incident.
They let this Islamic perv off on a technicality, so now subsequent pervs of whatever pursuasion can make their way home not only displaying their dangling participles, but also being cheeky little fellows...
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 01/02/2003 10:16 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  But I draw the line at split infinitives...
Posted by: seafarious || 01/02/2003 14:41 Comments || Top||

#2  My infinitives split the other day and I didn't know it. Walked around all day with my prepositions hanging out. It was so embarrasssing...
Posted by: Fred || 01/02/2003 15:03 Comments || Top||

#3  That is one frightening mental picture, no ifs and or buts about it!
Posted by: seafarious || 01/02/2003 16:26 Comments || Top||

#4  Maybe the grammar police would have better luck prosecuting them for dangling participles; those grammarians can be brutal, you know!!
Posted by: MommaBear || 01/02/2003 11:07 Comments || Top||

#5  Actually, they should bring, as evidence, said dangling participles, in which case they would be past participles...
Posted by: Ptah || 01/02/2003 11:10 Comments || Top||

#6  Just read in the Daily Telegraph about a French womam in Dubai who was gang raped by 3 Muslim men. The police have arrested her and charged her with adultrey and let the perps for rape off scot-free. So, none of this surprises me in the least. Fred, you need to stop drinking coffee and go with something less scalding!
Posted by: Jack || 01/03/2003 6:52 Comments || Top||


East/Subsaharan Africa
Nigerian leader sorry for army massacre
Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo has publicly apologised for the killing of more than 200 unarmed civilians by the army in Benue State in October 2001. He was speaking at a meeting of local Christian groups in the state capital, Makurdi.
"Sorry. My bad..."
The army has been accused of several mass killings since civilian rule was restored in Nigeria in 1999. Mr Obasanjo is seeking re-election in April and this Sunday faces a former minister from Benue State in primaries for the ruling People's Democratic Party (PDP). Correspondents say the apology may be an attempt to win votes.
Not from the people who were massacred, though. They'll probably vote for somebody else. In fact, they're probably registered in South Dakota...
The killing of ethnic Tivs was apparently in retaliation for the abduction and murder of 19 soldiers sent to quash fighting between Tivs and Jukuns, the biggest group in neighbouring Taraba State.
Sounds pretty much the Nigerian way of looking at things: if you kill them, they won't bother anybody, except for the smell.
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 01/02/2003 10:51 am || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Ah, yes, the historic feud between the Tivs and the Jukuns. Much storied, many songs and fables.
Posted by: Chuck || 01/02/2003 11:20 Comments || Top||



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