Last night, at 8:00 PM, and again at 3:30 AM, Pacific, HBO ran the movie Troy. I watched it both times.
While it was a pretty good adventure flic, with no redeeming value bad guys, near perfect good guys, guys who thought with their little head instead of their big head, guys who were impervious to pain, guys who were impervious to direction (that's only a guess, heh), guys who won that should've lost (a modern Hollyweird favorite thingy), guys who lost when they should've won (same same), guys who are slavishly loyal, guys who are independent minded, and chix who are all of the above, as well - just a lot easier to look at, IMHO, it just didn't have diddley-squat to do with the source material. Save the period costumes and the names, it was actually "shit we just made up". I don't much mind pure fiction, mind you, it can be fun, it can be great. But make it clear it's just that, "shit we just made up" - don't call it Troy.
I was actually quite surprised that it played so well, even if the storyline was jarring as hell due to inaccuracies, but that's prolly cuz my expectations were seriously subterranean after Alexander. What was the name of that kid? You know, the one whose career was permanently tanked by taking direction from Ollie Stone? He wasn't really so bad in the little telephone booth thingy. Ah well, such is life in Hollyweird. Meet Ollie, kiss career goodbye, but enjoy the "A" List parties while the invites come in.
Anyway, Hollyweird should just start naming every movie "shit we just made up" and tag on a number (chronologically assigned, I guess, by F.A.G.). It'll play hell with IMDB, think binary tree with no branches, lol, but it'd be more honest, and you know what? We'd get used to it.
Troy: Lots of heads roll.
No breasts, but there were healthy humps and buttery buttocks.
Gratuitous gladiator-style slaughter.
Achilles demonstrated ninja-style gladiator-style combat.
Paris was both a pussy and a prick. Hermaphrodite rating.
JoeBob says 3 stars, check it out.
#2
Well, Ship, JoeBob Briggs is alive and well - and online, of course. He was a columnist at the Dallas Morning News (real name: John Bloom) and his coverage of the 'Publican Convention in Dallas, way back when, was one of the most hysterical collections of columns I've ever read. His photo at the top of the column was the back of his head wearing a babseball cap. Classic JB. The guy is so fast on his feet and funny that he could pull off most any gig. I'm kinda sorry he stuck on the JoeBob character - it's pretty one-dimensional. I met him numerous times back in the day my Ex was a reporter.
#3
Oops - he was at the Dallas Times Herald - which was driven out of business by underhanded means bought out by the Morning News, lol. His bio page corrected me.
#4
I watched it too. While it was entertaining (and I'm sure Brad Pitt going naked was a real chick pleaser), I 'd have to say it was the most confusing historical movie epic of all time (of course, I ain't seen Alexander yet, so the title is still up for grabs).
Some spoilers ahead -
First off, they kill Meneleus on the third day of the invasion although I recall that he got Helen and went back to Sparta (and the story starts off at the port of Sparta - guess some upheavals occurred later on to move Sparta more to the center of the Pelopennesia). Then they off Ajax (who was a rather cool guy in the movie) on the same day. Then Hector buys it a couple of days later. After 12 days of funeral games, Troy is sacked.
I sat there thinking - Huh? What happened to the 10 years of siege? What happened to Cassandra (what kind of screenwriter could pass up mad prophetess who no one believes)? Where's Diomedes? Why'd the miss the opportunity for Ajax to go mad (really, the guy they got to do this part would have been really cool at it)?
Then I saw the end titles and it was "inspired" by Homer.
Well, it was an okay movie (not that I'd ever see it in a theater) but it sure shows that Hollywood can't make a historical epic anymore that hovers close to the actual truth. And directed by Wolfgang Peterson too - must not have had any say in the script.
At least they got the wooden horse in there and Aeneas too.
#8
Jeez. The guy's a few bricks shy of a full hod, that's for sure.
Question: does a lifelong diet of leftist Tranzi indoctrination drive people like him insane, perhaps from the constant, intense cognitive dissonance? Or are they insane to begin with, and their sickness makes them gravitate toward leftism?
Posted by: Dave D. ||
07/03/2005 9:12 Comments ||
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#9
Dave - your question is excellent, IMHO. As a Skinnerian, more or less, I think most of them start out okay, with some quantity of potential, then they meet Mrs. Dingbat, K1 - and it's all downhill for the next 20 yrs - ending up with someone like Ward "Chutch" Dunghill.
Sadly, one of the real bits of magic that we olderoids probably enjoyed that's less common today (blame mobility, job-hopping, whatever) is the fact that the familial generations are more commonly geographically spread nowadays than when I was young. My grandparents, both sets, were within 1 hour's driving time for my first decade... and what a huge influence they had, relative to my parental units who were working their asses off and too exhausted to do much more than collapse when they got home. It was 2x that from age 4 on cuz Mom was a 3-time loser, so she worked even harder than before. Nobody played catch with us or took us to the park or any of that other "normal" Beaver Cleaver / Father Knows Best stuff. No, my mom didn't wash the dishes wearing pearls - she didn't own any, lol! She was a ghost in our household and we all washed our own clothes and cooked our own food. My maternal grandfather was, barring none of the people I've met - and that's a list that might surprise you, the smartest and most admirable person I ever had the privilege to know. Tough as nails, fair as Solomon, and knew something (or a lot) about almost everything - and everything he told me turned out to be true. I can't imagine growing up today without him as my uber-reliable BS detector for the first 11 years. And I'll bet many kids today lack that precise thing: a steady, non-arbitrary, knowledgeable, willing, able, kick-ass role model. Good ones seem damned hard to come by these days - and I coached 2-3 different sports for more than a decade, so I know what I'm talking about as the kids looked to me to fill that hole in their lives. That'll prolly freak out TW, lol! Alas, 'twas true. Poor kids. It turned our house into Grand Central Station for ignored kids. And I loved every damned minute of it. Again, poor kids, lol!
That observation (complaint) noted, I'll just add that Islam and the Paleos have their indoctrination process, and we have ours.
Posted by: Frank G ||
07/03/2005 11:48 Comments ||
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#14
I want to thank the Cadanian educational system for perhaps the best laugh I have had in years. Between the drooling screed and the comments, I was laughing for at least 10 minutes non-stop.
Posted by: Just About Enough! ||
07/03/2005 13:57 Comments ||
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The Moonbats are weighing in to defend this screed. Check out this one from another "Anonymous":
Defend from who Canada's only ever been attacked or invaded by the United States and is only "Free" because we deffended ourselves.Its called the "Civil War" look it up.
Can such ignorance exist? Apparently it can in Canuckistan.
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
