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2006-02-04 Home Front: Culture Wars

Army Teaches Troops How to Pick a Spouse

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Posted by Anonymoose 2006-02-04 09:14|| || Front Page|| [11140 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 "Settings like military bases are incubators," said Van Epp, of Medina, Ohio. "They try to hatch ... relationships extremely fast," leading to higher divorce rates and more domestic violence.

And the proof of this statment is? When I was in Korea, I was advised that the divorce rate among military personnel and local nationals was about 50%. Wow! However, at the time, the divorce rate among Americans in general was about 50%. GeeWhiz.

So show us the numbers to back the claim that there is a significant difference between military marriages and non-military marriages of the same socio-economic/geographical/age groups. Or is this another media based bias? You know the one that only the losers join the military. Therefore they're all Springer folks.

Posted by Ebbavins Flemp6662 2006-02-04 09:45|| 2006-02-04 09:45|| Front Page Top

#2 Doesn't West Point have a seminiar on this?

Posted by 6 2006-02-04 09:55|| 2006-02-04 09:55|| Front Page Top

#3 ...through a program called "~~How To~~ Avoid Marrying ~~a Jerk~~."

There, fixed it for ya...

Posted by Raj 2006-02-04 10:13|| 2006-02-04 10:13|| Front Page Top

#4 6 - yes, I believe so.

Posted by lotp 2006-02-04 10:28|| 2006-02-04 10:28|| Front Page Top

#5 "Settings like military bases are incubators," said Van Epp, of Medina, Ohio. "They try to hatch ... relationships extremely fast," leading to higher divorce rates and more domestic violence.

That makes sense. Sounds like a good program to me.

Posted by 2b 2006-02-04 10:43|| 2006-02-04 10:43|| Front Page Top

#6 Since the most important decision a person will make in their entire life is choosing a mate, I'm glad to see that the military is beginning to deliver some much needed advice on the subject. There's little worse for a deployed serviceman than to be desperately worried about a flaky/philandering spouse back home, particularly if children are involved. Productivity and engagement drop dramatically for the deployed spouse when it starts; when they find out something's really wrong back home, things go to hell in a handbasket. Carefully picking someone who can stand up to the strains of military married life is a prerequisite for a successful military career because, truth be told, there aren't that many folks in our society who are up to facing those challenges. Military members DO need to be very selective for just that reason.

Posted by mac 2006-02-04 11:08|| 2006-02-04 11:08|| Front Page Top

#7 There used to be a lot of what we called "Tech School Marriages". Kids would marry someone they barely knew during their brief technical training program. I can't say all, but most of those marriages I knew of didn't last past the first enlistment. They usuually ended when they were sent to different assignements based on the needs of the service. Marrying a civilian may be worse because they don't or won't understand why your first assignment is to say Thule Greenland and your spouse can't come with. As a confession here, I did meet my wife in Tech School but we married a year afterwards and have been together for 24 years, but we are the exception and not the rule.

Posted by Cyber Sarge 2006-02-04 11:14|| 2006-02-04 11:14|| Front Page Top

#8 Not to mention all the marriages solely for the purpose of getting BAQ and moving out of the barracks.

lot of what we called "Tech School Marriages".

I had one female maintenance tech (Air Force) who married a Marine at tech school and couldn't understand why she couldn't get a joint spouse assignment to be with him. She turned out to be full blown nut case, got booted out.

Posted by steve">steve 2006-02-04 11:28|| 2006-02-04 11:28|| Front Page Top

#9 I remember a young couple, she E2 and he SP4, who had wild sex for two weeks before deciding to get married, and with a real "us vs. the world" attitude.

He was a good SP4, and I knew she was crazy as a bedbug, so I volunteered to give them some of the questions they would be asked during the "mandatory military pre-marriage counseling" (bullshit, bullshit).

I said, Oh, don't tell me your answers. I just want to give you the questions *they* will ask, so you can think about them.

Well, I gave them some softball questions, like "where do you plan to live", and "who will cook?", and their eyes had that rigid, unpersuadeable set in them. But then I mentioned kids, to which they blurted out, "Oh, they'll come when they come."

And I knew I had them.

After that, though her eyes were still fixed, his kept darting off, the thick grease around his brain gears starting to loosen up a little. After a few more easy questions, I wished them the best at their counseling and to have a nice day.

Their argument started almost as soon as they left the room. Within a few days the SP4 announced they had broken up, and he was damn glad, because she was "one crazy bitch".

Posted by Anonymoose 2006-02-04 12:59|| 2006-02-04 12:59|| Front Page Top

#10 "How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk."

crap. this is gonna cut into my dating

Posted by Frank G">Frank G 2006-02-04 13:32|| 2006-02-04 13:32|| Front Page Top

#11 Old fashioned way worked for me:

Both of us NCOs in Intel billets stationed overseas. Lots of booze in me and even more for her. Married a few weeks later. Like a "tech school" marriage.

Thats was almost a quarter of a century ago, and we've manage to hang on in spite of some of the wilder rides I've been on where I coudlnt tell her where I was, what I was doing, and when (or even if) I'd be back. Her having been "in the business" is what made it all possible, that and having a world of patience.

Posted by Oldspook 2006-02-04 16:18|| 2006-02-04 16:18|| Front Page Top

#12 Can't fight pheromones.

Posted by .com 2006-02-04 17:53|| 2006-02-04 17:53|| Front Page Top

#13 .com's pic reminds me of a similar cartoon, of a tall, buxom woman and a very short doctor, and the woman is saying, "a gynecologist? Whatever made you decide to become a gynecologist?"

Posted by Steve White">Steve White 2006-02-04 18:04|| 2006-02-04 18:04|| Front Page Top

#14 location, location, location. »;-)

Posted by RD 2006-02-04 18:36|| 2006-02-04 18:36|| Front Page Top

#15 Doesn't West Point have a seminiar on this?

Cadets called it "holes and poles," but methinks that you knew that already, 6. BTW, the catalogue name was Marriage and Family Life.

Posted by 11A5S 2006-02-04 18:59|| 2006-02-04 18:59|| Front Page Top

#16 Yes, it does take a very special person to be the trailing spouse in a military marriage. It's not something I could handle -- I'm only just brave enough to handle being married to a civilian who can tell me where he's going to, and possibly when he'll come back. Oldspook, Cyber Sarge, you are to be congratulated on catching such a rarity; may your next 25 be even better than what came before. ;-)

Posted by trailing wife 2006-02-04 22:20|| 2006-02-04 22:20|| Front Page Top

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