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2007-07-29 -Lurid Crime Tales-

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Posted by anonymous5089 2007-07-29 11:28|| || Front Page|| [11142 views ] Top

#1 uh huh. She's 25. They've been together 10 years without marrying and have two kids. Losers

Posted by Frank G">Frank G 2007-07-29 13:23|| 2007-07-29 13:23|| Front Page Top

#2 I recommend drafting a local statute to mandate the change of their last name to Dumbass should they waste any more time of the local police.

Posted by Super Hose 2007-07-29 13:39|| 2007-07-29 13:39|| Front Page Top

#3 LOL Fred! You da man!

Posted by Frank G">Frank G 2007-07-29 13:57|| 2007-07-29 13:57|| Front Page Top

#4 Fred! Oh Lord, Fred. Pfffft!... LOL!
Maybe best ever inline. Better even that...

Kid, loose the cheap watch
But my Immam give it to me!
Hell, Pasco County. Typical.

Posted by HalfEmpty 2007-07-29 13:58|| 2007-07-29 13:58|| Front Page Top

#5 ROTFL!

You guys doing the inline on this were better than the original article!

Great work! Keep it coming.

Pffft!
Aaaaiiieeee!
My eyes!

Posted by FOTSGreg">FOTSGreg 2007-07-29 15:06|| 2007-07-29 15:06|| Front Page Top

#6 By the way, years ago I managed to get an entry in the Bullwer-Lytton contest. Here is one of the 2006 winners (not mine):

"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."

Posted by Anonymoose 2007-07-29 15:51|| 2007-07-29 15:51|| Front Page Top

#7 Oh, dear. That's not at all fair, Anonymoose, to give us that on top of in-lines. I'm going to have to take a nap just to recover.

But could you post the Bullwer-Lytton contest URL? I didn't think to save it last time. Thanks much!!

Posted by trailing wife 2007-07-29 17:54|| 2007-07-29 17:54|| Front Page Top

#8 Into the Classics, please.

We are barely worthy of such masterful inline, Fred. Superb!

Posted by Zenster">Zenster 2007-07-29 18:28|| 2007-07-29 18:28|| Front Page Top

#9 Yo, Thomas Lake. It's what Florida white trash do when they get too big of a package on. It wasn't Gone With The Wind, okay?

Posted by tu3031 2007-07-29 18:52|| 2007-07-29 18:52|| Front Page Top

#10 http://www.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2006.htm

"Gripping his six-shot Colt Python with 8-inch barrel and Royal Blue finish, and tightening the straps on his Paratec Speed 2000 parachute, Jake leaped from the left aft hatchway of the tumbling, green-and-silver, twin-engined Embraer Lineage 1000, which had seating for nineteen passengers."

Posted by Anonymoose 2007-07-29 19:20|| 2007-07-29 19:20|| Front Page Top

#11 "Would that I had been more attentive to professor Jenkins' lecture on "Anitidaethropes" in my abnormal psychology veterinary class, even though that knowledge would be of little use to me know, standing face-to-beak with the largest flock of were-ducks in Burbank."

"Do you enjoy the pate de fois gras, my dear?", said Terry to his date, "I make it myself."

"Looking dapper and debonair in his tailored suit with silk ascot, Reginald, the newest member of the 13th fusiliers veterans club downed the traditional shot of habanero schnapps, then screamed and rammed his head through the dry-wall, to no one's great surprise."

"I will never submit to your lustful advances", cried Princess Beatrice, as the wealthy, powerful, muscular and strikingly handsome Count Bertrand leered, then slowly adjusted his mink gloves, "at least for another half-hour!"

"Reginald was no racist, for people, be they white, black, brown, red or yellow, he preferred to think of in his own space-alien terms: as either "crunchy" or "chewy"."

Posted by Anonymoose 2007-07-29 19:29|| 2007-07-29 19:29|| Front Page Top

#12 If anyone loses the link to the Bullwer-Lytton, just Google "dark and stormy night". Works like a charm.

Posted by GK 2007-07-29 21:39|| 2007-07-29 21:39|| Front Page Top

#13 Saved. Thank you, dear Anonymoose.

Posted by trailing wife 2007-07-29 21:45|| 2007-07-29 21:45|| Front Page Top

#14 Her picture is priceless.

She's got the eyes of a ferret on crank.

Posted by Carl in N.H. 2007-07-29 21:47|| 2007-07-29 21:47|| Front Page Top

23:58 eltoroverde
23:53 eltoroverde
23:19 twobyfour
23:13 Boss Craising2882
23:09 Old Patriot
22:41 Boss Craising2882
22:32 Anonymoose
22:21 anymouse
22:15 AzCat
22:11 trailing wife
21:48 OldSpook
21:47 Carl in N.H.
21:47 trailing wife
21:47 Pappy
21:46 OldSpook
21:45 trailing wife
21:39 gorb
21:39 GK
21:35 gorb
21:31 gorb
21:24 Angleton 9
21:21 OyVey1
21:20 Free Radical
21:12 Free Radical