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2004-09-09 Home Front: Tech

Hair analysis could reveal recent travels

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Posted by Super Hose 2004-09-09 01:10|| || Front Page|| [11124 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 Stuart Black and his colleagues at the University of Reading are testing a new method of determining where people have lived by measuring the ratios of oxygen and hydrogen isotopes in their tissues or fluids. They presented their results at the British Association for the Advancement of Science Festival in Exeter, UK.

The isotopes, absorbed into the body from water, have predictable values for different local areas and leave a telltale signature in tissues. âHair is particularly good because it grows about a centimetre a month,â says Black. âSo it actually grows a record of not only where you have been but what you have been eating and drinking.â

I recommend clipping a hair sample of all gunnees killed fighting for Allah.

Posted by Super Hose 2004-09-09 4:11:52 AM|| 2004-09-09 4:11:52 AM|| Front Page Top

#2 Suddenly the long beards start to make sense...

Posted by True German Ally 2004-09-09 4:13:38 AM|| 2004-09-09 4:13:38 AM|| Front Page Top

#3 Suddenly the long beards start to make sense...

The habit of suicide bombers shaving excess body hair does, too. Don't they realise pubic hair's there for greasy lubrication? Rushing through 72 virgins w/nowt but a five o'clock nad shadow could result in nasty sores. So don't shave, brave f*ckers for Allah! (Particularly the baldies.)

Posted by Bulldog 2004-09-09 5:25:00 AM|| 2004-09-09 5:25:00 AM|| Front Page Top

#4 Does that mean my hair is made from lager?

Posted by Howard UK 2004-09-09 5:45:25 AM|| 2004-09-09 5:45:25 AM|| Front Page Top

#5 Yea Howard Lager is fermetned hair :p

Posted by Sock Puppet of Doom 2004-09-09 5:57:25 AM|| 2004-09-09 5:57:25 AM|| Front Page Top

#6 Does that mean my hair is made from lager?

Blonde beer?

I've just thought of other names for Islamoterrorists:

Allahf*ckers, or Allah's F*ckers. Allah's F*cksquads?

I don't see why people would object to these theologically accurate proposals. Acceptable all-round, methinks.

Posted by Bulldog 2004-09-09 6:02:49 AM|| 2004-09-09 6:02:49 AM|| Front Page Top

#7 Stand up ye Plumshavers of Allah.

Posted by The Hippy Hippy Sheik 2004-09-09 6:14:23 AM|| 2004-09-09 6:14:23 AM|| Front Page Top

#8 I'm going to drop a copy of 'Shaven Havens' round to the Al Muhajiroun stall in Lewisham market on Saturday - might give them some creative ideas for when the time comes to pop their cork.

Posted by Howard UK 2004-09-09 6:43:10 AM|| 2004-09-09 6:43:10 AM|| Front Page Top

#9 1) So it actually grows a record of not only where you have been but what you have been eating and drinking

Wouldn't drinking imported lager foul up the test?

2) Rushing through 72 virgins w/nowt but a five o'clock and shadow could result in . . .

To say nothing of sore groin muscles.

Posted by BigEd 2004-09-09 4:36:52 PM|| 2004-09-09 4:36:52 PM|| Front Page Top

#10 Going back to the story itself, I seem to remeber they did a very similar analysis on what appeared to be an important burial at the Stonehenge site and determined the occupant was most likely from present-day Switzerland (or was that Swaziland.....?)

Posted by Mercutio 2004-09-09 7:17:19 PM|| 2004-09-09 7:17:19 PM|| Front Page Top

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