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2009-01-21 Home Front: Culture Wars
Worst Inaugural Poetry Ever
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Posted by mhw 2009-01-21 06:18|| || Front Page|| [17 views ]  Top

#1 Only slightly more uplifting as The One's inaugural speech.
Posted by Besoeker 2009-01-21 07:28||   2009-01-21 07:28|| Front Page Top

#2 She had a heavy meal that's why her intestines couldn't jump up and strangle her.

Could job she didn't find any green putty...
Posted by Bright Pebbles HitchHiking around the Galaxy 2009-01-21 07:58||   2009-01-21 07:58|| Front Page Top

#3 Roses are red
Violets are flowers
Obama's in charge now
It's been almost twelve hours.
Posted by Mike 2009-01-21 07:59||   2009-01-21 07:59|| Front Page Top

#4 Notes for 2013 inaugural:
Ditch the poetry and music.
Limit the pastors to one minute each.
Give the Chief Justice a teleprompter.
Posted by Darrell 2009-01-21 08:00||   2009-01-21 08:00|| Front Page Top

#5 Doggie barking in de night....
Do he bite? Do he bite?
Kill my landlord!

- Tyrone Green (Eddy Murphy)
Posted by WTF 2009-01-21 08:05||   2009-01-21 08:05|| Front Page Top

#6 LOL yeah it was weak
Posted by Grolush Darling of the Hatfields3195 2009-01-21 08:38||   2009-01-21 08:38|| Front Page Top

#7 Nothing about menstruation?! Boo, hiss, etc.
Posted by Angailing Black5905 2009-01-21 09:04||   2009-01-21 09:04|| Front Page Top

#8 Crap like that is why I stopped hanging out at poetry slams. Well, that & the paranoid whining about homophobes trying to run down squirrelly little queers with their Hummers.

All that's missing is the fascination with orifices, nattering on about their privates, and bad basement-bar lighting. Which makes slams sound much more interesting than they really are, but you get the idea.
Posted by Mitch H.">Mitch H.  2009-01-21 09:26|| http://blogfonte.blogspot.com/]">[http://blogfonte.blogspot.com/]  2009-01-21 09:26|| Front Page Top

#9 C-I-L-L. Kill my landlord.
Posted by Fred 2009-01-21 09:29||   2009-01-21 09:29|| Front Page Top

#10 OTOH, Lowery was the highlight of the entire Inaugural. "Yellow be Mellow?" LOL
Posted by William Marcy Tweed 2009-01-21 09:48||   2009-01-21 09:48|| Front Page Top

#11 No Maya Angelou? I'll bet Oprah was really pissed...
Posted by tu3031 2009-01-21 10:24||   2009-01-21 10:24|| Front Page Top

#12 In his winda
Break his neck
Then his house I start to wreck
Why I do it?
What the heck!

One of the funniest things I hyave ever seen on television.
Posted by tu3031 2009-01-21 10:26||   2009-01-21 10:26|| Front Page Top

#13 Actually, I was thinking that someone like Captain Kangaroo or Mr. Rogers should have come back from the dead and read Dr. Seuss' "Oh, The Places You'll Go!":

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away.

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

(later toward the climax)

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
through the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

(then a cymbal clashed finale)

And will you succeed!
Yes! You will indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

So....
Be your name Buxbaum, or Bixby or Bray
Or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to great places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting
So....get on your way!

I just think its more appropriate:)
Posted by Jack is Back!">Jack is Back!  2009-01-21 12:39||   2009-01-21 12:39|| Front Page Top

#14 Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Your brand new government
will dispense more poo.
Posted by DarthVader 2009-01-21 13:09||   2009-01-21 13:09|| Front Page Top

#15 This one's for you, tu3031, Fred, and WTF. ;)

Posted by Cornsilk Blondie 2009-01-21 13:19||   2009-01-21 13:19|| Front Page Top

#16 Say it plain

A friggin illiterate. You don't modify a verb with an adjective. Say it plainly

That was like fingernails on a chalk board. Yale professor? Spit.
Posted by Nimble Spemble 2009-01-21 13:41||   2009-01-21 13:41|| Front Page Top

#17  Putty. Putty. Putty.
Green Putty - Grutty Peen.
Grarmpitutty - Morning!
Pridsummer - Grorning Utty!
Discovery..... Oh.
Putty?..... Armpit?
Armpit..... Putty.
Not even a particularly
Nice shade of green.
Posted by Bright Pebbles the flatulent 2009-01-21 13:45||   2009-01-21 13:45|| Front Page Top

#18 Obonics NS, it's Obonics.
Posted by Besoeker 2009-01-21 13:55||   2009-01-21 13:55|| Front Page Top

#19 I guess Amiri Baraka wasn't available for a stirring rendition of his epic "Somebody Blew Up America"?

Posted by tu3031 2009-01-21 14:04||   2009-01-21 14:04|| Front Page Top

#20 That was painful. Were it not for the in-line commentary, I could not have gotten to the bottom. There was not one phrase worth repeating, not one image worth remembering, no rhyme or rhythm to carry the listener/reader from beginning to end. Although it is rather insulting to assume either that all African-Americans were unlettered labourers, if it was about African-Americans, or that only labourers are Americans, while the wealthy and the businessmen are defined by the poet as the nonexistent Other.

Mitch, I always assumed poetry slams were like those horrid Beat things I saw in the movies, all heartfelt pseudo-intellectual posing... like most of the stuff published in my high school literary magazine.
Posted by trailing wife ">trailing wife  2009-01-21 19:25||   2009-01-21 19:25|| Front Page Top

#21 Obonics, heh. But I must say that he is an excellent speaker in that he enunciates very well. I hope his example leads more blacks to abandon their from the 'hood, black, redneck accent.
Posted by Nimble Spemble 2009-01-21 22:10||   2009-01-21 22:10|| Front Page Top

#22 Roses were red
Violets were blue
Once we had money
Now hopechangeythingy
Posted by Skunky Glins 5***">Skunky Glins 5***  2009-01-21 22:26||   2009-01-21 22:26|| Front Page Top

#23 There was not one phrase worth repeating, not one image worth remembering, no rhyme or rhythm to carry the listener/reader from beginning to end. Although it is rather insulting to assume either that all African-Americans were unlettered labourers, if it was about African-Americans, or that only labourers are Americans, while the wealthy and the businessmen are defined by the poet as the nonexistent Other.

actually, the oral delivery made it even worse, if that is imaginable
Posted by Frank G">Frank G  2009-01-21 22:28||   2009-01-21 22:28|| Front Page Top

#24 Burmashave!
Posted by Adriane 2009-01-21 23:36||   2009-01-21 23:36|| Front Page Top

23:48 Leroidavid
23:43 Bob Cheaper aka Broadhead6
23:39 Verlaine
23:38 Leroidavid
23:38 Bob Cheaper aka Broadhead6
23:36 Adriane
23:35 Bob Cheaper aka Broadhead6
23:27 Leroidavid
23:12 Leroidavid
23:06 Large Snerong7311
23:01 Leroidavid
22:52 Leroidavid
22:51 SR-71
22:48 M. Murcek
22:45 JosephMendiola
22:37 JosephMendiola
22:28 JosephMendiola
22:28 Frank G
22:26 Skunky Glins 5***
22:20 Halliburton - Mysterious Conspiracy Division
22:19 JosephMendiola
22:17 trailing wife
22:14 trailing wife
22:12 Todd









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