One time in Alexandria,
in wicked Alexandria,
Where nights were wild with revelry,
and life was but a game.
There lived, so the report is,
an adventuress and courtesan,
The pride of Alexandria,
and Thais was her name.

Nearby in peace and piety,
avoiding all society,
There dwelt a band of holy men
who'd build a refuge there,
And in the desert solitude
they spurned all earthly folly to
Devote their lives to holy works,
to fasting and to prayer.

One day while on the first prayer set
a vision of the internet
a holy man saw upon the screen
a picture rather rude
for on the screen an image there
of Thais wearing just her hair
a-frolicking before his eyes
in what artists call the nude

The holy man grabbed his big hack saw
shouting "I'll enforce islamic law
he headed for the 10 fathom line
while wading out to sea
with scuba gear and "al akbar"
he sliced through cable fibers far
till the evil internet was quiet as could be

In triumph he did reach the shore
But suddenly he felt quite sore
A mob had gathered throwing stones
faces grim in murder set
They smashed his face and broke his bones
And bashed him with a cordless phone
And then they yelled for all to hear,
"Don't mess with our internet!"