Article

2006-12-01 -Short Attention Span Theater-

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Posted by Classer 2006-12-01 07:26|| || Front Page|| [11140 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 The condom's removal tool.

Posted by ed 2006-12-01 09:39|| 2006-12-01 09:39|| Front Page Top

#2 Do you have to vulcanize afterward? Sounds painful.

"It's a bit like a car wash."
Right. Next time I go to a carwash, I'll unzip and...

Posted by anonymous5089 2006-12-01 10:20|| 2006-12-01 10:20|| Front Page Top

#3 No reservoir tip, no ribbing, no sale, lol.

Posted by .com 2006-12-01 10:23|| 2006-12-01 10:23|| Front Page Top

#4 ... as well as optimise the vulcanisation process.

Isn't vulcanization accomplished by application of extreme heat and pressure? If that's so, the user of said product may have no need to get back to his partner after applying the product.

Posted by GORT 2006-12-01 10:41|| 2006-12-01 10:41|| Front Page Top

#5 There's nothing like pulling out your portable car wash-like device when that magic moment arrives to add a romantic touch to the occasion.

Her: What's in that steamer trunk you're lugging around?

Him: I'll show you, watch this.

Her: Eeeeeekk! Get away from me you freak!

Him: Don't run away, it'll be dry in just 20 minutes!

Posted by Biff Wellington 2006-12-01 10:48|| 2006-12-01 10:48|| Front Page Top

#6 Isn't vulcanization accomplished by application of extreme heat and pressure?

Yes, that is my understanding. Just WHAT does this devilish device does to your naughty bits? Is it permanent? Is there any kind of plastic surgery available to try and salvage the remains? I'm not even sure I want to know.

Posted by anonymous5089 2006-12-01 10:53|| 2006-12-01 10:53|| Front Page Top

#7 Option for removal. Soak in acetone for three hours. Course it does cause shriveling.

Posted by SpecOp35 2006-12-01 11:04|| 2006-12-01 11:04|| Front Page Top

#8 Sam Kinison had a joke about this, obviously years ago.

Posted by Penguin 2006-12-01 11:07|| 2006-12-01 11:07|| Front Page Top

#9 LOL Bif!

Posted by Shipman 2006-12-01 11:37|| 2006-12-01 11:37|| Front Page Top

#10 Um--wouldn't this also trap pubic hairs as well? Might as well use duct tape!

Posted by Dar">Dar 2006-12-01 12:23|| 2006-12-01 12:23|| Front Page Top

#11 Gonna call it "Dinkity-Do".

Posted by Shuns Uleating3851 2006-12-01 13:56|| 2006-12-01 13:56|| Front Page Top

#12 1)I have a visual of this process being licensed. I would not want to buy the device from Firestone, lest i suffer from ply separation at an inopportune moment.....
2) And the michelin man grphic would need a re-do.
3) Is that a 205-R14 in your pocket or are you glad to see me?

/goes and stands in a corner

Posted by USN, ret. 2006-12-01 13:59|| 2006-12-01 13:59|| Front Page Top

#13 There's a joke in here about a "blowout" but I think I have to tread lightly.

Thanks for the warm-up USN - we'll be here all week!

Posted by GORT 2006-12-01 14:14|| 2006-12-01 14:14|| Front Page Top

#14 spray-on condom

have yee heard about the Joint Venture with Pfizer Inc?

yep new product called Spray On Hard On, it comes with or without Wrapper!

makes Viagra and Condoms obsolete!

/invest

Posted by RD 2006-12-01 14:23|| 2006-12-01 14:23|| Front Page Top

#15 Hey GORT: what with the bad weather going on all over the country, shouldn't there be something in here about putting on studs and all? This would remedy .com's problem about lack of ribbing..
I think the Goodyear people are working on a redesign of the Blimp...
Pardon the NASCAR metaphor, but if you are going to race at more than one track, I hope these guys have different compunds available for the different conditions encountered (big difference between Talledage and Bristol.....)

and think of the spin off business opportunities: for that annoying slow leak: the SLIME people could even get involved.
and Viagra would be in competition with the Fix-a-Flat folks...

you've been a great crowd. no, really....

Posted by USN, ret. 2006-12-01 14:32|| 2006-12-01 14:32|| Front Page Top

#16 This isn't a prophylactic; it's a replacement.

Posted by Excalibur 2006-12-01 15:41|| 2006-12-01 15:41|| Front Page Top

#17 USN - you left out the retreads.

Posted by Anguper Hupomosing9418 2006-12-01 15:42|| 2006-12-01 15:42|| Front Page Top

#18 Ya think this thing is warranteed for 40,000 miles? Lemme get out the calculator. . .

Damn.

Not.Even.Close. :(

Posted by GORT 2006-12-01 15:46|| 2006-12-01 15:46|| Front Page Top

#19 That would stunt sales...

Posted by .com 2006-12-01 15:51|| 2006-12-01 15:51|| Front Page Top

#20 Due to Bernoulli's law, most pressurized aerosol propellants exhibit pronounced endothermic properties upon release. While this might assist in congealing the latex veneer, the underlying *ahem* substrate is well-known for responding to cold conditions in a distinctly unwelcome fashion.

Posted by Zenster">Zenster 2006-12-01 17:00|| 2006-12-01 17:00|| Front Page Top

#21 Shrinkage?

Posted by Chuger Hupeart7813 2006-12-01 17:02|| 2006-12-01 17:02|| Front Page Top

#22 If you're too stupid to know how to use a rubber, you deserve to go through this shit...

Posted by tu3031 2006-12-01 17:03|| 2006-12-01 17:03|| Front Page Top

#23 And I just now found out that condoms are serialized......

Posted by USN, ret. 2006-12-01 17:11|| 2006-12-01 17:11|| Front Page Top

#24 Well, if yah don't wanna have kids, just get a vasectomy for cryin' out loud. And in other news, I bet the latex spray really stinks, literally. Blech. And in other news after that, would anyone really want to use something that can irritate or plug the urethra? If it don't dissolve in water, that's what you've got.

Posted by ex-lib 2006-12-01 18:31|| 2006-12-01 18:31|| Front Page Top

#25 Would any woman want a 'spray on' used? What if it hasn't fully dried? Somehow I dont think so.

Ladies?

Posted by CrazyFool 2006-12-01 20:42|| 2006-12-01 20:42|| Front Page Top

#26 What if it hasn't fully dried?

There was a young man from Japan
Who used condoms sprayed on from a can
In unforeseen haste
Conjoining took place
That wasnt according to plan

Posted by Zenster">Zenster 2006-12-01 21:01|| 2006-12-01 21:01|| Front Page Top

#27 Twenty six comments and not one person volunteering to be a field tester in Berlin.

Posted by GK 2006-12-01 21:44|| 2006-12-01 21:44|| Front Page Top

#28 Can I use it on my tongue ?

Posted by DragonFly 2006-12-01 22:16|| 2006-12-01 22:16|| Front Page Top

23:58 gromgoru
23:54 Zenster
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23:46 Phineter Thraviger
23:45 gromgoru
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23:33 Thinemp Whimble2412
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