Archived material Access restricted Article
Rantburg

Today's Front Page   View All of Thu 07/21/2022 View Wed 07/20/2022 View Tue 07/19/2022 View Mon 07/18/2022 View Sun 07/17/2022 View Sat 07/16/2022 View Fri 07/15/2022
1
2022-07-21 -Short Attention Span Theater-
I laced my boyfriend's condoms with habanero oil
Archived material is restricted to Rantburg regulars and members. If you need access email fred.pruitt=at=gmail.com with your nick to be added to the members list. There is no charge to join Rantburg as a member.
Posted by Fred 2022-07-21 00:00|| || Front Page|| [10 views ]  Top

#1 Someone dated outside of their species.
Posted by badanov 2022-07-21 00:04||   2022-07-21 00:04|| Front Page Top

#2 Post headline: The craziest face
In this paper is not Asia G----,
Cuz there isn't a snap,
Just a list of xir crap.
["Spayed reporter sez newshound plays ace!"]
Posted by Jusorong Tingle5495 2022-07-21 00:43||   2022-07-21 00:43|| Front Page Top

#3 A creepers community penis
Wandered the heights of Mount Venus.
Fell in the wrong crack
Felt fire cried "Ack!
And now both my dad and I leak pus!"
Posted by Bertie Hapsburg2674 2022-07-21 01:42||   2022-07-21 01:42|| Front Page Top

#4 All is fair in Love and War...
Posted by Black Charlie Slairt1430 2022-07-21 01:58||   2022-07-21 01:58|| Front Page Top

#5 ...Talk about spicing things up...

Mike
Posted by MikeKozlowski 2022-07-21 06:24||   2022-07-21 06:24|| Front Page Top

#6 Had a bad time after some delicious fresh made Mexican street salsa [tomatoes, habaneros, onions, burro wagon board cut and ground by hand with a mortar and pestle].

That won't be happening again!
Posted by Skidmark 2022-07-21 07:37||   2022-07-21 07:37|| Front Page Top

#7 
I am surprised at her success using a hypo and injecting fluid into the package, while not sticking a hole in the condom... which would cause it to split.
Posted by NN2N1 2022-07-21 07:47||   2022-07-21 07:47|| Front Page Top

#8 Sung by habanero ruined boyfriend, preferably with a friend playing guitar.

'Let me tell you the song 🎵
[wiggles nasty necrotic flesh]
of this once community shlong.

I was a Don Juan, sexy, hep. 🎵
But with the brain of Johnny Depp.

This mistress I had, was mad.🎶
Like totally crazy rad!

She did... something to the rubber,
[shows again li'l flubber]
because there... sniff... were others.

And so to boys I now tell, 🎵
to fear what me befell.

An' atleast before screwing, 🎶
smell the darn FL' 🎵
Posted by Dron66046 2022-07-21 07:50||   2022-07-21 07:50|| Front Page Top

#9 *golf clap*
Posted by Frank G 2022-07-21 08:36||   2022-07-21 08:36|| Front Page Top

#10 She may want to think twice about her "absorbent pads".
Posted by AlmostAnonymous5839 2022-07-21 10:35||   2022-07-21 10:35|| Front Page Top

#11 I bet the woman he was with had a worse time of it than him.
Posted by Chris 2022-07-21 10:57||   2022-07-21 10:57|| Front Page Top

#12 "Hell hath no fury like that of a scorned woman."

However, not the Lorena Bobbitt award.
Posted by JohnQC 2022-07-21 11:42||   2022-07-21 11:42|| Front Page Top

#13 
Posted by M. Murcek 2022-07-21 11:58||   2022-07-21 11:58|| Front Page Top

#14 I bet the woman he was with had a worse time of it than him.

My thought, too, Chris.
Posted by trailing wife 2022-07-21 12:49||   2022-07-21 12:49|| Front Page Top

#15 ^Hot Pocketâ„¢
Posted by Frank G 2022-07-21 12:52||   2022-07-21 12:52|| Front Page Top

#16 Imagine my Biden incontinence face when I realized I'd accidentally challenged Dron. As if. Just waving vaguely at the eternal struggle between trans and "other" women, was all.
Posted by Jusorong Tingle5495 2022-07-21 13:48||   2022-07-21 13:48|| Front Page Top

#17 From the "equally believable (if not as remunerative) stories" file...

See vegan American sparrow
ATTACK with a vegetable marrow
As mum-of-two Yank
Empties Putinist tank
With her Molotov cock-habanero!
Posted by Jusorong Tingle5495 2022-07-21 13:54||   2022-07-21 13:54|| Front Page Top

#18 Whatever habanero is, I think it shall become a recurrent snarky reference. As in,'he has been habaneroed'. Or, 'time to wake up and smell the habanero!' 🥳
Posted by Dron66046 2022-07-21 14:07||   2022-07-21 14:07|| Front Page Top

#19 Me woman, she 'alf a Scotch bonnet.
Mon, look mighty jaunty upon it!
Now start fe get 'ot.
"It cool down?"
"Maybe not."
So me chop, an' me glad dat me done it.
Posted by Jusorong Tingle5495 2022-07-21 14:39||   2022-07-21 14:39|| Front Page Top

#20 In the old country as young we used to put the glochids of prickly pears in the public bathrooms toilet paper…..
Posted by Aca Joe 2022-07-21 15:42||   2022-07-21 15:42|| Front Page Top

#21 Cue gritos por Mexican crooners.
"Some scratched at our glochids... algunas,"
Sings boychik of Pskov,
"But most just burned 'em off
And went riding in search of the tunas."
Posted by Jusorong Tingle5495 2022-07-21 17:08||   2022-07-21 17:08|| Front Page Top

#22 For Dron:

What are habanero peppers?

At one point, the habanero (100,000 to 350,000 Scoville heat units or SHU) held the crown as the world’s hottest chili pepper, but don’t let the fact that certain chilies have passed it by fool you into underestimating it. This is a seriously hot pepper. And unlike many of the hotter chilies, there’s quite a bit of flavor to go along with the extra-hot kick. it has a unique, citrus-like taste with a subtle hint of smoke that makes it very popular in hot sauces, powders, and rubs. If you can handle the heat, this is a fun culinary chili to play with in the kitchen.

Zenobia F, a little friendly competition is good for the soul. Imagine if Salieri had liked young Wolfie Mozart instead of otherwise...
Posted by trailing wife 2022-07-21 18:07||   2022-07-21 18:07|| Front Page Top

#23 fwiw, capsaicin, the chemical responsible for the 'hot', is used for treatment of pain. In fact, an over the counter product, Pain Block, has a roll on that does this.

If you use capsaicin to, for example, relieve knee pain, don't go into a hot tub for at least 12 hours or you will feel a nasty burn.
Posted by Lord Garth 2022-07-21 19:46||   2022-07-21 19:46|| Front Page Top

#24  is used for treatment of pain.

It’s a counterirritant, which is a fascinating concept otherwise appliable to war and diplomacy. Or any negotiation, really, if one is clever enough to carry it off. ;-)
Posted by trailing wife 2022-07-21 21:21||   2022-07-21 21:21|| Front Page Top

23:57 Dron66046
23:14 Aca Joe
22:45 trailing wife
22:29 Moonbeam Mcswine
22:19 Aca Joe
21:41 trailing wife
21:35 Aca Joe
21:34 trailing wifeb
21:31 Aca Joe
21:28 Frank G
21:25 Aca Joe
21:25 746
21:25 swksvolFF
21:21 trailing wife
21:17 Frank G
21:15 trailing wife
21:06 Anomalous Sources
21:05 SteveS
21:03 Aca Joe
20:54 Aca Joe
20:52 Silentbrick
20:50 Silentbrick
20:23 AuburnTom
20:07 Sonny Bucket7534









Paypal:
Google
Search WWW Search rantburg.com