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Wazoo tribesmen attack Qaeda bunkers
Today's Headlines
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Page 5: Russia-Former Soviet Union
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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Lard Mohammad Sculpture Unveiled
An April Fools joke, presumably, but its so hard to tell anymore. From the Plains Feeder blog:
Michelle Malkin and others are all carping about the media coverage afforded a fruitcake artist's sculpture of Jesus made of chocolate. The same media that wouldn't print Mohammed cartoons for fear of offending Mohammedans.

I wonder who will cover next week's showing at Joslyn Art Museum (Click to see the "sponsers" of the exhibit) here in Omaha of the sculpture pictured above. The deep relief depicts the Prophet Mohammed, and is crafted entirely from lard. The title is "Lard Mohammed", and the sculptor prefers to remain anonymous, but is widely believed to be a Nebraska blogger.
Posted by: Cromert || 04/01/2007 00:56 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6486 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Oh that's brilliant! - I've downloaded the image, a definite keeper!
Posted by: Tony (UK) || 04/01/2007 12:04 Comments || Top||

#2  I bet Drudge doesn't have the --- to link it.
Posted by: Angaiger Tojo1904 || 04/01/2007 12:52 Comments || Top||

#3  Gotta love it. Islam's been "larding" it over the Infidel for far too long.
Posted by: Zenster || 04/01/2007 14:11 Comments || Top||

#4  Its a great april fools joke.
Posted by: 3dc || 04/01/2007 14:50 Comments || Top||

#5  Sounds wonderful! While at work I can't open the link but will as soon as I get home.
Ingenius, great April Fool's Day joke.
Posted by: Jan from work || 04/01/2007 18:00 Comments || Top||

#6  pork be upon her.
Posted by: Icerigger || 04/01/2007 19:16 Comments || Top||

#7  If Chocolate Jesus and Lard Mohammad had a fight, who do ya think would win?
Posted by: tu3031 || 04/01/2007 22:07 Comments || Top||

French Architect Claims to Have Solved Pyramid Secret
Hey, you engineers. Go to this site The Pyramid Secret and download this (I had to download some software before it would run). Whether you agree or not, it's incredible to watch this. Maybe over your morning coffee, it takes some time.
A French architect claimed Friday to have uncovered the mystery about how Egypt's Great Pyramid of Khufu was built — with use of a spiral ramp to hoist huge stone blocks into place. The construction of the Great Pyramid 4,500 years ago by Khufu, a ruler also known as Cheops, has long befuddled scientists as to how its 3 million stone blocks weighing 2.5 tons each were lifted into place.

Ending eight years of study on the subject, architect Jean-Pierre Houdin released his findings and a computerized 3-D mockup showing how workers would have erected the pyramid at Giza outside Cairo.

The most widespread theory had been that an outer ramp had been used by the Egyptians, who left few traces to help archeologists and other scientists decode the secret to the construction.

Houdin said he had taken into account the copper and stone tools available at the time, the granite and limestone blocks, the location of the pyramid and the strength and knowledge of the workers. According to his theory — shown in a computer model — the builders put up an outer ramp for the first 140 feet, then constructed an inner ramp in a corkscrew shape to complete the 450-foot structure.

Houdin also postulated that King's Chamber was hoisted into place through a system of counterweights. Houdin said he plans to verify his theories through non-invasive tests on site.
Posted by: Sherry || 04/01/2007 00:48 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6477 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Wasn't anybody aware that Gambian President Yahya Jammeh figured all this out in his free time while he was coming up with a cure for AIDS? He proved it by building a full-scale model in his courtyard all by himself one evening.
Posted by: gorb || 04/01/2007 3:59 Comments || Top||

#2  I would be more impressed if they used Real-Time 3D for a mock-up of the fifty-foot Michael Jackson robot.
Posted by: Excalibur || 04/01/2007 8:38 Comments || Top||

#3  Hardly new. Been doing it since 1999 on the computer based game Pharaoh. Building ramps, moving stone, making pyramids the old fashion way. The guy is a day late and a dinar short.
Posted by: Procopius2k || 04/01/2007 8:51 Comments || Top||

#4  What a moron. It took him 8 years to figure out that they used ramps.

I do have a small beef with the spiral ramp theory. It would seem that straight ramps would be much easier and fit the shape of the pyramid Bette, but then again, I haven't wayrd 8 years of my life on this.
Posted by: Mike N. || 04/01/2007 12:28 Comments || Top||

#5  Good god. Better and wasted.
Posted by: Mike N. || 04/01/2007 12:29 Comments || Top||

#6  I do have a small beef with the spiral ramp theory. It would seem that straight ramps would be much easier and fit the shape of the pyramid Bette, but then again, I haven't wayrd 8 years of my life on this.

Not to mention the problems with maintaining a steady pull while going around 90-degree turns.
Posted by: xbalanke || 04/01/2007 17:37 Comments || Top||

#7  dem frogs sure look mega geeky in dem goggles.
Posted by: RD || 04/01/2007 19:08 Comments || Top||

-Signs, Portents, and the Weather-
Human Rights for Apes ("monkey invasion" vindicated!)
Beginning a movement that may propel Spain as a leader in animal welfare, the Balearic Parliament has recently announced its approval of a resolution to grant legal rights to great apes. The Balearic Islands are located in the western Mediterranean Sea, near the eastern coast of the Iberian Peninsula, and form one of the Autonomous Communities of Spain The Islands are one of the most popular holiday destinations in all of Europe
Deputy Margalida Rosselló presented the Balearic Parliament with the resolution early last summer, requesting a declaration of support for the mission of the Great Ape Project, International - to legally grant great apes freedom from torture, mistreatment and unnecessary death. This resolution has also been presented to the Spanish Government and is expected to be considered this summer after being deferred due to unrelated political issues last year. According the Pedro Pozas, Executive Director of Great Ape Project, Spain, “the decision of the Balearic Government to approve this Proposal, makes it a world-wide leader in the protection of the great apes and their habitat, as well as in the support of their rights.”

Opponents cite concern over granting “human” rights to animals. However, supporters are quick to point out that the resolution approved by the Balearic Parliament and proposed to the Spanish Government does not seek to grant great apes the same rights available only to humans. The proposition simply recognizes basic legal protections supported by biological and scientific evidence that great apes, like human children, experience an emotional and intellectual conscience similar to that of human children. For years, the scientific community has widely recognized that great apes experience intense emotions such as fear, anxiety, happiness; can independently solve puzzles and create and use tools; recognize the past and plan for their future; and can learn to communicate in and unilaterally teach a different language to their children.

By declaring its support of fundamental rights for great apes, the Balearic Parliament has taken scientific evidence to the next level by establishing a legal recognition that these creatures are conscious, self-aware beings that should not be tortured, abused and neglected. The efforts by the Balearic Parliament to stop the oppression of intelligent and self-aware beings who cannot speak for themselves is an important step in the political arena of animal rights.

Michele L. Stumpe, Esq.
President, Great Ape Project International

Michele L. Stumpe, Esq. is an attorney and legal consultant who began working with gorillas, chimpanzees and orangutans as a teenager. Early in her career, Stumpe set out to combine her legal and business talents with her passion for conservation and great ape rights. She became the legal consultant to Gorilla Haven, the only gorilla sanctuary in the USA, and also served on the legal advisory board to the Great Ape Project, International. In 2005, she became a member of the Gorilla Haven Board of Directors and was appointed as a Trustee for the organization. She has volunteered at sanctuaries for great apes in Africa and the US. She currently serves as the President of Great Ape Project, International.

The Plot Thickens!

This is the current, most highly evolved version of a warning I issued a couple of years ago on several message boards, including Rantburg:

Monkey uprising overruns Bangladeshi town.
Monkeys terrorize Indian government.
Monkeys invade Indian embassy in Nepal. (An alliance with Maoist rebels?)

There is mounting evidence that monkeys and their relatives are plotting to overthrow human civilization, almost certainly in collusion with the great apes. That's right, you think they are cute hairy little bare-ass creatures, but don't let the sly beasts fool you!

At some point in the year 2008, the Moon will align with (something or other) and that will cause a great awakening in the conciousness of every ape, monkey, and baboon... spider monkeys and lemurs, too. Then the little monsters are going to rip and sack their way through the unsuspecting nations of the Earth.

Many leading humans have been aware of this simian conspiracy for some time. Why do you think experienced ape-fighter Charlton Heston was named to lead the NRA a few years ago? Heston is out of the loop now, but others have taken his place in preparing our resistance. Stock up on guns, ammo, and bananas!

The conspiracy seems concentrated in the Indian subcontinent. An attempt to gain control of Indian nuclear weapons at an early stage? Can faithful Rantburgers be sure that all of our posters are loyal humans? Couldn't one or more of them be the proverbial monkey pecking at a keyboard, sent here to spy out the scientifically concious resistance?

(Yes, I know that apes are not monkeys, but the great apes have long been suspected of masterminding the anti-human conspiracy.)

I will continue to raise the alarm about this gorilla warfare conspiracy, despite protests and threats from simian-citizens pressure groups and their lawyers and media dupes.

Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy || 04/01/2007 00:00 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6513 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Wait -- how do we know that AC isn't a simian conspiracy operative put here to spread disinformation about their real plans? His nic is "Atomic Conspiracy" and he talks about the "simian conspiracy" -- but that's just too clever by half! He just WANTS us to think that the simians are operating alone, when all along it's Halliburton controlling the simian agents! Why do you think we call Bush "Chimpy McHalliburton"? Rovian plot! Rovian plot!
Posted by: Zorba Spinese6212 || 04/01/2007 1:45 Comments || Top||

#2  All I know is monkeys are mean and agressive. And never look one in the eye, it's just asking for trouble.
Posted by: phil_b || 04/01/2007 4:53 Comments || Top||

#3  Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Once you go monkey, you never go back.
Posted by: Anonymoose || 04/01/2007 12:22 Comments || Top||

#4  I understand they are being registered as Democrats for the next election.
Posted by: Glenmore || 04/01/2007 16:38 Comments || Top||

#5  If they have rights then they have responsibilities.

Wonder when the first monkey will be arrested.
Posted by: Theamble Forkbeard2343 || 04/01/2007 22:23 Comments || Top||

#6  On the topic of lower primate rights, I'll have to quote Dennis Miller:

If finding a cure for AIDS requires hooking up chimpanzees to car batteries, I've got only two things to say; Red is positive and black is negative.
Posted by: Zenster || 04/01/2007 22:26 Comments || Top||

#7  So can I sue them if they throw shit at me at the zoo?
Posted by: tu3031 || 04/01/2007 22:28 Comments || Top||

Down Under
Australia on tsunami alert
A TSUNAMI alert has been issued for parts of the Pacific - including Australia - after a strong earthquake near the Solomon Islands.

The quake, with a preliminary magnitude of 7.8, jolted the South Pacific Ocean at 6.40am (AEST).

The Pacific Tsunami Warning Centre has issued a tsunami warning for Solomon Islands, Papua New Guinea, Vanuatu, Nauru, Chuuk, New Caledonia, Pohnpei, Kosrae, Australia, Indonesia, Tuvalu, Kiribati, and Marshall Island.

Japan's Meteorological Agency said it was looking into the possibility of tidal waves hitting the Japanese archipelago after the quake.

There were no immediate reports of injuries or damage.
Posted by: Ebbeanter Ulemp4173 || 04/01/2007 18:09 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6486 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Has Joe reported in yet? He's been feeling the foreshocks for perhaps this one for several weeks.
Posted by: Glenmore || 04/01/2007 21:05 Comments || Top||

#2  that's a big-ass quake. Indonesia? You're on your own, assholes
Posted by: Frank G || 04/01/2007 21:13 Comments || Top||

#3  Magnitude 8.0 - SOLOMON ISLANDS

40 km (25 miles) SSE of Gizo, New Georgia Islands, Solomon Isl.
Posted by: RD || 04/01/2007 22:56 Comments || Top||

#4  Same Area, Kavachi Volcano *10/1969 thru 03/2005:

Kavachi Volcanism

Posted by: RD || 04/01/2007 23:05 Comments || Top||

#5  the Slot: My POP's convoy ran the slot and steamed around those islands back and forth 65 years ago.
Posted by: RD || 04/01/2007 23:14 Comments || Top||

Home Front: Politix
Firetruck Accidents On the Rise In District
D.C. firetrucks are involved in an average of two traffic accidents a week, forcing many out of service when they should be responding to emergencies, city officials say.

Most crashes are minor -- fender-benders or swipes of parked cars -- but officials are concerned about the potential for serious trouble. In the last fiscal year, 20 people were injured, including nine civilians. No one was killed.

...Hoping to reverse the trend, the District is putting a stronger emphasis on training. The city recently began training rookies on a $760,000 driving simulator akin to a high-tech video game. It has a seat that bounces like an amusement park ride when the driver goes over a virtual speed bump or curb -- or crashes into a tree. Experienced firefighters will take turns on the simulator, too.

More at link...
Posted by: Dave D. || 04/01/2007 00:00 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6491 views] Top|| File under:

#1  They should do the same with DC Metro buses, before more people get killed.
Posted by: Eric Jablow || 04/01/2007 0:41 Comments || Top||

#2  Nobody with any sense drives in the District unless they absolutely have to; I'm willing to bet that most of these fender-benders are the result of DC drivers deciding that they didn't feel like getting out of the way of an emergency vehicle.
Posted by: Jonathan || 04/01/2007 12:42 Comments || Top||

#3  I'm with you, Jonathan. Here in Silicon Valley, emergency response vehicles almost have to ram impeding cars out of the way. I make a point of always pulling in behind other drivers who readily get out of the way and salute them afterwards if I can. Needless to say (then why say it?), that doesn't happen too often. In a similar vein, here's an amusing photo of a BMW parked in front of a fire hydrant:
Posted by: Zenster || 04/01/2007 13:38 Comments || Top||

#4  zenster, that is a classic i have nevcer seen vefore. At least the firemen where smartasses about it
Posted by: sinse || 04/01/2007 14:10 Comments || Top||

#5  Note the broken glass? Bet there's a leak in the hose, too.
Posted by: Nimble Spemble || 04/01/2007 14:15 Comments || Top||

#6  I was in the San Mateo DMV getting a license renewed once. I asked one of the DMV officers why there were so many people with drivers licenses that did not know how to drive.

He dryly informed me that knowing how to drive was not a prerequisite for obtaining a license in the state of California.
Posted by: Natural Law || 04/01/2007 21:07 Comments || Top||

#7  My brother's had to do that a couple of times. He always makes sure the cops lay the hundred dollar ticket on them too.
He always tries to be around when the owner shows up...
Posted by: tu3031 || 04/01/2007 22:12 Comments || Top||

#8  #3 Zen - Love the pic.

A friend of mine was a cop in D.C. many years ago, and told me of seeing a picture in the Post once of a similar scene (yes, the firefighters made sure the hose was leaking) with the added pleasure of a cop with his foot up on the bumper, writing a ticket.

'Course, he also once was directing traffic with a lit flare in his hand and it "accidently slipped" out of his hand, flew through an open car window, and landed in the back seat of the car that had just tried to hit him.... :-D
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut || 04/01/2007 22:33 Comments || Top||

Home Front: WoT
Open House In Amsterdam's Red Light District
Amsterdam's sex workers came to work early on Saturday to offer a free look at the city's famed red-light district.

Hundreds of wide-eyed visitors queued in the sunshine to enter the dimly-lit sex clubs and peep shows that draw thousands to the city and to snoop around prostitutes' neon-lit boudoirs.

"I think the open day is a great idea," said Love, an erotic dancer at Amsterdam's Banana Bar, who was on hand to answer questions and pose for photographs in fluorescent negligee.

"It is especially interesting for women. If they learn what we do here they will realize it is not a big deal if their husbands or boyfriends want to come here."

Organizers staged the open day to counter bad publicity surrounding the 800-year-old district after harrowing reports of forced prostitution, human trafficking and organized crime.

More than 30 brothels are fighting closure after officials revoked their licenses last year over suspected links to money laundering and drug dealing.

But tourism authorities say the district -- a warren of narrow alleys and canals lined with sex shops, brothels and neon signs - - is as big an attraction as Amsterdam's art museums and coffee shops, where marijuana is freely smoked and sold.

Every night visitors throng the streets, agog at scantily clad women sitting behind huge red-lit windows, and who sell their services for as little as 50 euros ($66.58).

"I am here because my wife was interested in coming along," said 63-year-old Evert Rijnders from Haarlem.

His wife Jos added: "This has been a chance to look behind the scenes, and some things have definitely surprised me."

Organizer Jacco Wanders displayed a typical prostitute's bedroom, usually concealed behind red velvet curtains and fitted with an emergency alarm bell in case a client turns violent.

He laughed as visitors posed in the tall street-facing window or bounced around on the mattress.

"This day is to help break down taboos around prostitution and to create more understanding and respect," he said.

The "open day" concludes with the unveiling of a statue to an unknown sex worker, intended to honor those employed in the industry world-wide, including those without the same protection found in the Netherlands, where prostitution is legal.

Amsterdam's window-prostitutes are self-employed tax payers, hiring their own windows at around 110 euros per night.

"People who work in the sex industry don't get enough respect," said Mariska Majoor, a former prostitute who now runs the red-light district's information center.

"There are millions of them and many are in trouble. Some are abused by clients or pimps and it is important for them to know that they deserve respect."
Posted by: Anonymoose || 04/01/2007 00:00 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6474 views] Top|| File under:

#1  If we did this in Nevada we'd have to buy all of the girls new singlewide's first.
Posted by: Secret Master || 04/01/2007 0:04 Comments || Top||

#2  "It is especially interesting for women. If they learn what we do here they will realize it is not a big deal if their husbands or boyfriends want to come here."

yeah, that'll work...right, Ethel?
Posted by: Frank G || 04/01/2007 11:29 Comments || Top||

#3  Having spent the equivalent of several days in that part of Amsterdam, by far the most interesting street to window shop is the "Avenue of the Giant Negresses", which is right next to the big church.

If you can imagine a dozen women who *average* maybe 6'4" tall and 275lbs+ each, and the entire short block is exclusively theirs. And just as interesting are the men who are captivated by such women and can barely contain themselves.

Otherwise, there are the museums and canals; exquisite Argentinian beef steaks, far better than tough US beef; the coffee and 'smart' shops; the regular pharmacies that have all sorts of modern European drugs not yet approved in the US; and the diamond district.

There were many times when I wished there was at least some small enclave in the US of such good naturedness, where the inclination was to be friendly and unobtrusive, instead of meddlesome, intense and snooty.

N.B.: one of their biggest social attractions is religion, with all sorts of evangelicals and missionaries from around the world visiting there. This says something that they could coexist so well with what many think of as "hedonism".
Posted by: Anonymoose || 04/01/2007 12:40 Comments || Top||

#4  the missionaries are prob going too the red light district too
Posted by: sinse || 04/01/2007 14:08 Comments || Top||

#5  best-es customers.
Posted by: RD || 04/01/2007 19:14 Comments || Top||

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On Sale now!

A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.

Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.

Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has dominated Mexico for six years.
Click here for more information

Meet the Mods
In no particular order...
Steve White
Scooter McGruder
john frum
Bright Pebbles
trailing wife
Frank G
Alaska Paul

Two weeks of WOT
Sun 2007-04-01
  Wazoo tribesmen attack Qaeda bunkers
Sat 2007-03-31
  Japan sets up missile defence shield near Tokyo
Fri 2007-03-30
  Abdur Rahman, Bangla Bhai stretchy neck
Thu 2007-03-29
  Arab League unanimously approves Saudi peace plan
Wed 2007-03-28
  US starts largest exercise since war
Tue 2007-03-27
  Hicks pleads guilty
Mon 2007-03-26
  Release Sufi Muhammad in 72 hours or Else: TNSM
Sun 2007-03-25
  UNSC approves new sanctions on Iran
Sat 2007-03-24
  Iran kidnaps Brit sailors, marines
Fri 2007-03-23
Thu 2007-03-22
  110 killed as Waziristan festivities enter third day
Wed 2007-03-21
  40 killed in Wazoo clashes
Tue 2007-03-20
  Taha Yassin Ramadan escorted from gene pool
Mon 2007-03-19
  5000+ kilos of explosives seized in Mazar-e-Sharif
Sun 2007-03-18
  PA unity govt to meet officially on Sunday

Better than the average link...

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