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2006-03-03 Iraq
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Posted by Glenmore 2006-03-03 18:35|| E-Mail|| Front Page|| [542 views since 2007-05-07]  Top

#1 Invoke the 48 hour rule.
Posted by .com 2006-03-03 18:41||   2006-03-03 18:41|| Front Page Top

#2 Oh, it could'nt be the brave Al-Zarqawi. He promised to blow himself up. We all know the ones that send the people to die, would never be taken alive.
Posted by plainslow 2006-03-03 18:44||   2006-03-03 18:44|| Front Page Top

#3 Yeah, I know it's probably wrong, and at least 48 hours would have to pass before it was acknowledged, even if it is right. But it is so much fun to speculate.
Posted by Glenmore">Glenmore  2006-03-03 18:47||   2006-03-03 18:47|| Front Page Top

#4 I'm not a superstitious man, but I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed just in case. Would that we could get Zarqawi to implicate Iran. Drool.
Posted by Zenster 2006-03-03 19:06||   2006-03-03 19:06|| Front Page Top

#5 I find myself in complete agreement with Zenster.
Posted by phil_b">phil_b  2006-03-03 19:13||]">[]  2006-03-03 19:13|| Front Page Top

#6 I vote for this wringing after interrogation:

1) Douse him with BZ
2) coat with honey
3) wrap in wet leather
4) place in desert sun near ant hill
5) Rescue before death
6) Nurse back to health
7) remove finger nails with pliers
Repeat 1-6
8) remove toe nails with sledge hammer
Repeat 1-6
9) crush one jewel
Repeat 1-6

Video tape the whole thing and broadcast on Al Jizz so retards can see what it gets them -
Posted by 3dc 2006-03-03 19:21||   2006-03-03 19:21|| Front Page Top

#7 Heh, got your mojo working there, 3dc...
Posted by .com 2006-03-03 19:22||   2006-03-03 19:22|| Front Page Top

#8 If true, it will be true forever, there's no hurry, lol. But the fun is infectious...
Posted by .com 2006-03-03 19:23||   2006-03-03 19:23|| Front Page Top

#9 I'm hoping it's true. Be nice if they got his laptop too, full of "logistical support" and Iranian addresses.
Posted by Hupomoger Clans9827 2006-03-03 19:23||   2006-03-03 19:23|| Front Page Top

#10 Note to self: Do not piss off 3dc.
Posted by Mark Z 2006-03-03 19:39||   2006-03-03 19:39|| Front Page Top

#11 We will need help from the Iraqis to *ahem* loosen his tongue, in a venue that is a fine and private place. 48 hr rule.....damn, it's hard to wait....
Posted by Alaska Paul">Alaska Paul  2006-03-03 19:46||   2006-03-03 19:46|| Front Page Top

#12 I am very cautious to get excited about this, especially after so many close calls. BUT IF THIS S.O.B. EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING IS IN CUSTODY, I WILL JUMP UP AND DOWN WITH JOY. TWO WORDS, CAN YOU SAY... DEATH PENALTY???
Posted by bgrebel 2006-03-03 20:04||   2006-03-03 20:04|| Front Page Top

#13 The US already got Zarqawi's laptop once before.
Zarqawi narrowly escapes US trap
US forces recently came close to capturing Jordanian militant Abu Musab al-Zarqawi in Iraq and had found his laptop computer and seized some of his money, America's ABC television reported today.
Posted by ed 2006-03-03 20:08||   2006-03-03 20:08|| Front Page Top

#14 Iraqi handlers. Make sure there are family members of victems of the AQ "lions of islam" suicide bombers.

I think they would make Hanibal Lecter look like a Boy Scout.
Posted by anymouse">anymouse  2006-03-03 20:08||   2006-03-03 20:08|| Front Page Top

#15 Why is this guy alive? We need to stop taking captives.
Posted by Nimble Spemble 2006-03-03 20:13||   2006-03-03 20:13|| Front Page Top

#16 Just arrest his severed head, that will suffice.
Posted by Captain America 2006-03-03 20:41||   2006-03-03 20:41|| Front Page Top

#17 MNF? _ Monday Night Football has really lost focus since it moved to ESPN....
Posted by Chavitch Clavique1463 2006-03-03 20:59||   2006-03-03 20:59|| Front Page Top

#18 3dc: far too gentle. Didn't you use to watch the X-Files? I figure we won't have done him justice unless by the time of his departure from this plane he is karma free.

Science is our friend.
Posted by Anonymoose 2006-03-03 21:27||   2006-03-03 21:27|| Front Page Top

#19 Anonymoose, BZ is not gentle
see: Reports on BZ (the superhallucinogen that violently detaches users from reality for days at a time)
more here

Think - really bad bad trip. really bad..
esp with the ants and stuff adding to it..
and everything amped.
Like imagine actually being tortured by daemons in hell bad...

Posted by 3dc 2006-03-03 22:39||   2006-03-03 22:39|| Front Page Top

#20 3dc: old tech. funny movies, though. However, we now have such things as endorphine blockers that can make you feel every nerve ending in your body at the same time. BZ is just too damn unreliable--unpredictable results. Sloppy.

We also have lovely, magnificant psychotropics that are just a wonderment. Think of them as full virtual-reality Hell simulators.

Paranoia drugs that will make you terrified of everything all at once, like a dozen different intense phobias.

Brain electrode implants that are just plain fun.

We can probably make him think he is a disembodied living brain in a jar. Or that pork is the tastiest food in the world. Or that he has met Allan, and she is a dominatrix. Or convince him that he is a raving homosexual.

We can re-write his brain so that he is our most trusted agent. Use drug-induced hypnosis and implant high tech explosives in his abdomen prior to his meeting with the President of Iran.

We have all this great technology, I say we use it.
Posted by Anonymoose 2006-03-03 23:00||   2006-03-03 23:00|| Front Page Top

#21 Hall of Shame: Americans who participated in Iran's "Holocaust Cartoon" project:
Mike Flugennock
Aaron Heineman

Posted by Listen To Dogs 2006-03-03 23:15||   2006-03-03 23:15|| Front Page Top

#22 So why not air-drop some BZ via crop dusters to known hangouts of 'militants?'
Posted by USN Ret. 2006-03-03 23:16||   2006-03-03 23:16|| Front Page Top

#23 I'd be satisfied with:

1) Announce release time and place on radio / TV - two hours in advance.
2) Release at noon (local) time in Samarra, Iraq
3) One minute head start
Posted by DMFD 2006-03-03 23:45||   2006-03-03 23:45|| Front Page Top

23:57 Fred
23:56 JosephMendiola
23:55 DMFD
23:47 JosephMendiola
23:45 DMFD
23:32 RD
23:23 JosephMendiola
23:18 Anonymoose
23:16 USN Ret.
23:15 Listen To Dogs
23:06 Frank G
23:04 Frank G
23:00 Anonymoose
22:59 Listen To Dogs
22:53 N guard
22:48 .com
22:45 3dc
22:43 3dc
22:41 3dc
22:39 3dc
22:21 .com
22:02 Anonymoose
21:58 mag44_vaquero
21:57 Xenophon

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