[THESUN.CO.UK] A PROSTITUTE in Zim-bob-we 'died' during a hotel romp with a client - only to come back to life as her body was being put in a coffin. "Yeah. Really. She just laid there."
The vice girl reportedly collapsed during a sex session last week at the Manor Hotel in Bulaweyo. Convinced she was dead, her shocked client called the police - who sent paramedics to collect the body. "Hello? Is dis 911? Yeah. I'm in bed with a dead hooker. Do I have to pay?"
But as they were loading the 'corpse' into a metal coffin, the hooker suddenly woke up screaming. "Lemme outta here! I ain't been paid!"
Local news reports claim she leaped from the casket, yelling: "You want to kill me, you want to kill me".
Terrified staff and guests at the hotel who had gathered to watch the scene unfold, fled in panic. "I'm outta here!"
"Me, too!"
"Dis is what my back looks like!"
A source told Bulaweyo24 News: "It was like a movie. People were running away in different directions. I remember dat movie!
"It was a scary incident because we were all convinced that she had died because she was just cold. Miracles surely do happen." I think I might have been married to her once...
The shaken hooker - known locally as MaNdlo - That's an assumed name. You know it is. I have it on good authority that her real name is PrzBlgm.
was escorted home by another hooker. "C'mon, MaNdlo. I'll walk you home."
"Didja get my money?"
Posted by: Fred ||
03/31/2013 00:00 ||
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#1
Strangely enough, I had a dream last night where I was in Bulaweyo for a cricket match.
No hookers in the dream though, alive or apparently otherwise.
[An Nahar] An eccentric Australian mining magnate who is building a replica of the ill-fated Titanic on Saturday unveiled his latest scheme -- a park of giant robotic dinosaurs. Uhhh... Did we see dis movie? Like, two or three times, wasn't it?
Clive Palmer, who last month in New York launched an ambitious plan to build and sail the "Titanic II", said he had ordered more than 100 life-size dinosaur robots from China to populate his north Australian resort.
"We'll have the world's biggest dinosaur exhibit, with 165 animatronic dinosaurs," Palmer said.
He already has two of the towering creatures -- named Jeff and Bones -- on display at his Palmer Coolum Resort on the Sunshine coast north of Brisbane and boasted that the public "haven't seen anything yet."
The robots, some of which measure up to 7 meters tall and weigh in excess of 1.2 tonnes, will move their tails and chests and blink their eyes. They are expected to arrive by the end of April.
A larger-than-life character who has made a fortune in mining, Palmer said recently that he was funding the Titanic II because "I want to piss away spend the money I've got before I die".
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Giant robot dinosaurs means giant robot dinosaur fights. I am sooo there!
[An Nahar] The United States on Saturday condemned the rebel takeover of the Central African Republic and called for a rapid return to constitutional government after the country's latest coup.
"The United States remains deeply concerned about the serious deterioration in the security situation in the Central African Republic," State Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland said in a statement.
"We strongly condemn the illegitimate seizure of power by force by the Seleka rebel alliance, Michel Djotodia's self-appointment as president, and his suspension of the constitution and National Assembly."
The statement said Washington continues to recognize the national unity government led by Prime Minister Nicolas Tiangaye as the "only legitimate government" in the impoverished and frequently unstable country.
Tiangaye was appointed under a January peace deal between the rebels and President Francois Bozize's regime, and has said he will stay on in the job.
The rebels toppled Bozize on the grounds that he had failed to honor the terms of the peace pact which was signed in the Gabonese capital of Libreville after a December offensive.
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Unravelling the Progressive benefits foolishness and reducing the welfare rolls. It isn't enough, but at least Britannia is starting the process, unlike some much larger countries we could mention.
[Telegraph] Nearly 900,000 people who were on incapacity benefit dropped their claim to the payments rather than undergo a tough medical test, latest government figures show.
The 878,300 who decided not to have an official assessment of whether they were fit for work was more than a third of the total number of people claiming sickness-related benefits.
The statistics also revealed that some claimants cited conditions such as "blisters", "sprains and strains" and "acne" as preventing them from having a job.
More than 46,120 people claimed incapacity benefit because of "behavioural disorders due to the use of alcohol" while 29,130 claimants cited drug use.
Last night ministers said the figures showed the full extent of how millions had been "trapped on welfare" for decades.
Grant Shapps, the Conservative Party chairman, said the old system was "evil" and accused Labour of using sickness benefits to "hide the unemployed" when the party was in power.
The statistics emerged ahead of a raft of controversial changes to the benefits system which will come into force this week - including the "bedroom tax" which sees council and social housing tenants facing reductions to their benefits if they have empty rooms in their homes.
The statistics emerged ahead of a raft of controversial changes to the benefits system which will come into force this week - including the "bedroom tax" which sees council and social housing tenants facing reductions to their benefits if they have empty rooms in their homes. <
Also coming in is an overall benefits "cap", which will prevent any household receiving more than £26,000 a year in total benefit payments - a figure set to reflect the average gross salary of a full-time worker.
Labour say the average household will be £891 worse off in 2013-14 because of tax and benefits changes.
Iain Duncan Smith, the Work and Pensions Secretary, has faced criticism after scaling back a pilot scheme for his flagship universal credit - which will merge dozens of different out-of-work benefits into a single payment with the aim of ensuring an individual is always better off in work than on benefit.
Instead of being tested in four job centres, the new system will only be piloted in one from this week amid claims the new scheme is in chaos.
Mr Duncan Smith has admitted, as revealed by The Telegraph, that ministers have effectively given up trying to reduce the overall welfare bill and that the government is simply trying to "manage" the rise in payments.
Speaking in Scotland he said in "reality" Britannia was "not cutting welfare" unlike other European nations.
Ministers will hit back in the row over welfare this week by publishing a raft of figures which they say show that tough measures - or the threat of them - are already "changing behaviour" by seeing people drop their claims.
As well as the 878,300 who chose to drop their claims, another 837,000 who did take the a medical test were found to be fit to work immediately, while a further 367,300 were judged able to some level of work.
These include the figures on incapacity benefit. As well as the 878,300 who chose to drop their claims, another 837,000 who did take the a medical test were found to be fit to work immediately, while a further 367,300 were judged able to some level of work.
Only 232,000 (one in eight of those tested) were classified by doctors to be too ill to do any sort of job.
Some 30 people claimed they were unfit to work because of blisters, while 60 cited acne and 2,110 said "sprains and strains" rendered them unfit for employment.
The vast majority of these have since dropped their claims or been found to be fit for work, according to the Department for Work and Pensions figures.
The assessments part of the Work Programme introduced by Mr Duncan Smith, a scheme costing up to £5 billion under which private-sector providers are paid to help the long-term unemployed find work.
More than 2 million people who previously claimed sickness payments are gradually being assessed to determine whether they are eligible for the main incapacity benefit, Employment and Support Allowance (ESA).
If they are not, and cannot find work, they have to claim the less generous Jobseekers Allowance (JSA).
Mr Shapps said: "One of the cruelest things about this welfare system, which had developed over decades...is that it traps people who want to work hard and get on in life with no other option but to be trapped into a life on welfare.
"It's cruel, I think the system had actually become literally cruel, even evil to people. People suspected for a long time that incapacity benefit had been used by the previous government to hide the unemployed.
"This is a new figure, nearly a million people have come off incapacity benefit...before going for the test. They've taken themselves off. My big argument here is this is not these people were trying to play the system, as much as these people were forced into a system that played them."
Ed Balls, the shadow chancellor, said: "On average families will be £891 worse off this year because of changes introduced since 2010. All this comes at a time when a flatlining economy has seen prices rise faster than wages and unemployment rise again this month.
"And while ministers trumpet the small rise in the income tax personal allowance, they should admit that it is hugely outweighed by things like cuts to tax credits and child benefit, higher VAT, the bedroom tax and the granny tax.
"They are giving with one hand, but taking away much more with the other."
#1
So sowi Mr. Ping, our scale clearly indicates your body weight is far too excessive and fails to qualify you for needs based Chinese food stamps. Try gan during year of Cat open enrollment period. Nex prease.
[An Nahar] Argentina on Friday offered two New York hedge funds to repay its debt to them with cash and new bonds on conditions similar to those used in a 2010 debt swap.
The South American nation is facing a court order to pay out $1.3 billion (one billion euros) to bondholders on debt it defaulted on during its 2001 financial crisis.
The offer was contained in a filing to the New York Court of Appeals.
"The Republic proposes, following the terms of the 2010 exchange offer, to compensate plaintiffs with their choice of par or discount," said the document filed by the law firm of Cleary, Gottlieb, Steen & Hamilton, as expected, shortly before midnight.
Argentine President Cristina Kirchner has already said she is willing to re-extend the restructuring terms of 2005 and 2010 to hedge funds NML Capital and Aurelius Capital Management, which she has branded "vultures."
That offer would repay the investors around 70 percent of their capital in nominal terms as the bonds mature in the next 28 to 33 years.
Posted by: Fred ||
03/31/2013 00:00 ||
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So they are going to pay off the old bonds by issuing new bonds? I'm sure this is somehow different than kiting checks.
#2
I'm having a hard time ginnin' up any sympathy for the hedge funds.
If they were stupid enough to lend money to Argentina (ferchrissakes!) in the first place....
Posted by: Barbara ||
03/31/2013 1:41 Comments ||
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#3
so they'd get a Cyprus-like haircut that would take 30 yrs to pay off based on a currency that has 25% inflation annually?.
I think not, Madam Kirchner. Your attention to the Falklands is simply a distraction for your economic ineptitude and corruption. Argentina is a blessed nation with an educated populace, natural resources, and good weather. They keep f*cking it up by electing charismatic hacks
Posted by: Frank G ||
03/31/2013 9:01 Comments ||
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#4
"They keep f*cking it up by electing charismatic hacks"
Remind you of a country in North America? >:-(
Posted by: Barbara ||
03/31/2013 10:54 Comments ||
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#6
Just do like the Fed-Treasury. Print a lot of worthless money to pay the bonds off. OF course this will have 'dire consequences to the markets', so they'll get the Fed-Treasury here to do it for you to keep their buddies in the market and Wall Street happy.
Official Tbilisi expresses "deep concern" "suddenly" started Russian military exercise in the Black Sea, near Georgia. As Georgian Foreign Ministry told Trend, "these exercises are unusual, unplanned and goes beyond the usual military exercises."
The Georgian side is concerned with the fact that its borders are conducted large-scale exercises with the activation of 7000 military and 30 warships, with the exact date not reported completion of the exercise, its goals and objectives.
"These exercises will not match the Vienna Convention of 2011 -" On the strengthening of trust and security, "as well as the scale of the exercises do not meet the proportionality of the threats. These actions are contrary to the principle of promoting stability in Europe," the statement said.
It pointed out that Georgia is concerned of "provocative" and "unexpected" Russia's actions and the risk of potential use of Russian military forces in the occupation zones located in Georgia (Abkhazia and South Ossetia).
Posted by: Steve White ||
03/31/2013 00:00 ||
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Big depositors in Cyprus's largest bank stand to lose far more than initially feared under a European Union rescue package to save the island from bankruptcy, a source with direct knowledge of the terms said on Friday.
Under conditions expected to be announced on Saturday, depositors in Bank of Cyprus will get shares in the bank worth 37.5 percent of their deposits over 100,000 euros, the source told Reuters, while the rest of their deposits may never be paid back.
In other words, they will not lose everything above the legally covered amount.
Legally, it could have been all above the 100,000 euro amount -- not that anyone wants to think about that. As an aside, what's the covered amount in the U.S.?
The toughening of the terms will send a clear signal that the bailout means the end of Cyprus as a hub for offshore finance
Indeed. It was a good scam while it lasted.
See, Russian mobsters? Next time do it right and put yer money into Switzerland. Go with the folks who have been laundering dirty money for centuries...
and could accelerate economic decline on the island and bring steeper job losses. Officials had previously spoken of a loss to big depositors of 30 to 40 percent.
"Pray we don't alter the deal further..."
Cypriot President Nicos Anastasiades on Friday defended the 10-billion euro ($13 billion) bailout deal agreed with the EU five days ago, saying it had contained the risk of national bankruptcy.
"We have no intention of leaving the euro," the conservative leader told a conference of civil servants in the capital, Nicosia. "In no way will we experiment with the future of our country."
Cypriots, however, are angry at the price attached to the rescue - the winding down of the island's second-largest bank, Cyprus Popular Bank, also known as Laiki, and an unprecedented raid on deposits over 100,000 euros. Under the terms of the deal, the assets of Laiki bank will be transferred to Bank of Cyprus.
At Bank of Cyprus, about 22.5 percent of deposits over 100,000 euros will attract no interest, the source said. The remaining 40 percent will continue to attract interest, but will not be repaid unless the bank does well. Those with deposits under 100,000 euros will continue to be protected under the state's deposit guarantee.
Posted by: Steve White ||
03/31/2013 00:00 ||
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#1
Zerohedge thinks this is a prelude of whats to come everywhere. And they are probably right.
Although I did think confiscation of savings through inflation would come first.
#2
Although I did think confiscation of savings through inflation would come first.
No reason not to do both, phil_b. After all, to our ruling elites, it's a matter of what they decide to let us keep, not taking a greater of lesser part of what is ours. Nobody -- except them -- needs that much of what a person has greedily kept to himself, anyhow.
#4
..it's all the magic of computer keyboards these days than the old 'cook the books' manually. Remember if it's not done by Eurocrats sitting at their properly environmental lighted desks in Brussels then its an evil hacker someplace in a dark room purloining your assets. One is [for your own] good, the other is a criminal. /sarc off - sort of
#5
Apparently there have been some additional details coming out that answer some of Beso's question.
At least one of the major banks, Laiki, gave loans to all manner of politically connected companies and unions and MPs directly of which much was "forgiven". So, you take depositors money and gift it to your friends and cronies.
(HT WSJ via EUReferendum) Ooops, then you come up short. Do tell.
#7
The Greek press is reportedly having a field day publishing stories about Cypriot politicians, Communists, and union leaders getting their money out ahead of (and sometimes during) the bank holiday.
Gov. Jennifer Granholm often spoke of using green energy to turn around the states economy, but instead Michigan has become the epicenter of government-subsidized failures.
Four of the nation's top eight green energy companies that have filed for bankruptcy had operations in Michigan and received state and federal subsidies.
The Heritage Foundation put together a list of the 19 federally supported green energy companies that filed for bankruptcy and Michigan was represented significantly.
The companies with Michigan operations included A123 Systems, Azure Dynamics, United Solar Ovonics and Evergreen Solar.
Federal, state and local governments were willing to put up as much as $874 million for those four companies, but they still could not avoid bankruptcy. The government aid figure includes tax credits, loans, loan guarantees, grants and other financial incentives, according to The Heritage Foundation.
The companies were part of President Barack Obamas effort to stimulate the economy. Gov. Granholm also trumpeted many of the failed companies as big-time job creators.
"This week's developments show that an economic strategy we devised five years ago is continuing to produce results," Gov. Granholm said in a December 2009 speech announcing the Michigan companies receiving money from the federal stimulus program. "In that time, Michigan has invested more than $1 billion to help nurture the growth of green manufacturing in our state, from advanced batteries and electric vehicles to solar panels and wind turbines. We want Michigan to be a center for advanced manufacturing and the jobs that come with it."
It's not dumb luck that Michigan has hosted some of the biggest green energy collapses.
"We made a concentrated effort to attract these businesses regardless of their business prospects," said James Hohman, a fiscal policy analyst for the Mackinac Center for Public Policy. "Michigan taxpayers have been paying the costs but reaping few of the benefits."
Azure Dynamics in Oak Park developed hybrid electric technology. It was supposed to create 40 jobs within five years (2014). According to a company website, Azure Dynamics liquidated its assets.
Evergreen Solar has a facility in Midland that made solar power products. It was projected to create 101 jobs within five years (2013). Evergreen also liquidated its assets and no jobs exist.
A123 Systems had a plant in Livonia that made advanced batteries for hybrid electric vehicles. It was projected to create 844 jobs within five years (2014). Seven jobs exist at the company, according to federal records.
United Solar Ovonics developed technology for solar cells. It had facilities in Battle Creek and Greenville that were to create a projected 700 jobs. The company sold off its assets this summer, according to news reports.
#12
TW, the covered amount is basically $250K per depositor per bank. Until last New Year, transactional accounts (non-interest bearing) were insured for an unlimited amount. As far as I can tell, that TAGP / Dodd-Frank coverage has expired.
#14
"30-40%" > PFFFTTT, slackers, don't be ridiculous - its been up to 60% now since Easter Sunday!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't "shares in the bank" = means or infers that Depositors will be getting OWNERSHIP SHARES IN SAME ERGO WILL INDEED BE GETTING "PAID BACK" AS THE BANK(S) + [Greek]CYPRUS ECON STAYS AFLOAT OR STAYS SUCCESSFUL OVER TIME???
[Pak Daily Times] Rawalpindi Police have locked away Drop the rod and step away witcher hands up! 26 lawbreakers including three suspected robbers and 10 gamblers. They claim to have recovered drugs, seven bottles of liquor, six pistols with 21 rounds, a revolver with five rounds, a repeater with 13 rounds and one 7mm rifle with four rounds from the possession of the arrested accused.
According to police front man, Pirwadhai police arrested Asad with 175 grams of hashish.
Meanwhile, ...back at the argument, Jane reached into her purse for her .38... Kahutta police acting on a tip-off conducted a raid at Mattor Chowk and caught 10 gamblers identified as Malik Khan, Ali, Daliar Khan, Abdullah, Liaquat, Noor Khan, Mushtaq, Saqib, Jameel and Sher Khan. Police recovered Rs 97,630 stake money and other items from their custody.
New Town police carried out a raid in Faisal Park, E Block and netted three suspected robbers identified as Attique ur Rehman, Noor Muhammad and Mohsin. Three pistols with 14 rounds were recovered from them.
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03/31/2013 00:00 ||
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[Pak Daily Times] A court here on Saturday convicted a person accused for blasphemy by sentencing him to life imprisonment. The first Additional District and Sessions Judge Ajlal Hyder Memon pronouced the verdict under sections 295-A and 295-B of the blasphemy law against Jalal Chandio. Chandio was accused of burning a copy of the Holy Quran in his house in Jathia Mohala area of Tando Adam, Sanghar district, in the year 2001. A religious leader of the area, Allama Ahmed Mian Hamadi, was the complainant in the case which was lodged in B-section police station of Tando Adam.
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[Straits Times] The United States Patent and Trademark Office has denied Apple's application for a trademark to safeguard its widely popular iPad mini tablet, saying the case to own the phrase was too weak.
Apple, however, has until July 24 to better explain how the iPad mini is different and unique from the larger-sized iPad to counter the rejection seen as largely a formality.
The iPad mini mark "merely describes a feature or characteristic of applicant's good," said the rejection letter dated Jan 24 but that has only emerged in recent days.
"In this case, both the individual components and the composite result are descriptive of applicant's goods and do not create a unique, incongruous or non-descriptive meaning in relation to the goods being small handheld mobile devices comprising tablet computers capable of providing Internet access."
Posted by: Fred ||
03/31/2013 00:00 ||
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In which Apple finds that Kimberly-Clark is a dangerous foe.
[Straits Times] Myanmar on Friday strongly rejected comments by a senior United Nations ...When talk is your weapon it's hard to make yourself heard over the artillery... official linking the state with recent anti-Mohammedan riots that have left at least 40 people dead and seen mosques razed in several towns.
The UN's Special Rapporteur on Myanmar human rights ...which are often intentionally defined so widely as to be meaningless... Tomas Ojea Quintana on Thursday said he had "received reports of State involvement in some of the acts of violence", prompting the rebuttal from Myanmar's presidential front man.
"I totally reject what Quintana's saying about some sections of the state being involved in violence," Mr Ye Htut said in comments posted on his Facebook page.
"It is regrettable that Mr Quintana has commented on the situation, based on second hand information without correctly studying the situation on the ground."
Posted by: Fred ||
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[Straits Times] The United Nations ...an international organization whose stated aim of facilitating interational security involves making sure that nobody with live ammo is offended unless it's a civilized country... -backed tribunal trying former Khmer Rouge leaders for genocide says it will pay several months of overdue salaries for its Cambodian staffers.
An announcement from the tribunal's administrative office received on Saturday said the UN would provide funds covering January through April this year. It did not specify how much would be given. Foreign and Cambodian personnel are paid under separate budgets.
Translators for the tribunal went on strike in early March over their pay complaint. They agreed to resume work after being paid their wages for December.
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[An Nahar] A classic Philadelphia cheesesteak restaurant is changing its name after almost seven decades from "Chink's" because of fear of causing racial offense.
Chink's Steaks has been renowned for its girth-busting meat and melted cheese sandwiches since it was opened by Samuel "Chink" Sherman in 1949, according to a history on the eatery's website www.chinksteaks.com.
Sherman gave what was at first just a sandwich shop his own nickname and after he died in 1997, his protege Joe Groh kept on the tradition.
Only recently, Groh told CBS television, have people started to complain about the potential for seeing the name as a racist term for Chinese.
"We did not associate it with the racial slur," he said, but change is needed so that "we no longer inadvertently alienate anyone in the Philly community."
The website says the new name will be "Joe's Steaks and Soda Shop."
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[MIAMI.CBSLOCAL] The professor embroiled in a educational firestorm over his classroom practices has been placed on administrative leave. Paid administrative leave, no doubt... Remember they were originally going to toss the kid for making a fuss.
Officials at Florida Atlantic University announced the move against Dr. Deandre Poole after receiving a complaint from student Ryan Rotella, who claims he was unfairly suspended from class for not writing the word "Jesus" on a piece of paper and stomping on it as part of a class exercise. The more of this nonsense that goes on the more religious I'm starting to feel. They'll have me going to church pretty soon.
The schools said removing Dr. Poole from the classroom was "for safety reasons" after the incident garnered a lot of media attention.
Posted by: Fred ||
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The schools said removing Dr. Poole from the classroom was "for safety reasons" after the incident garnered a lot of media attention.
Oh, come on. The instructor didn't use Mohammad (for obvious reason that would require removal for safety). BTW don't try using Elvis either.
#7
Before one draws parallels to any of the Rushdie rules crises involving anti-islamic speech it should be reemphasized that the issue is that the professor tried to compel speech, not that students were offended by the professor's speech.
He violated the student's free speech rights while his own rights had never been challenged.
From The Other Perfesser:
As an aside, my personal experience has been that web advertising is terribly ineffective for the rates they charge.
From TFA:
"It became clear that banner ads are annoying to people and they just aren't that profitable," said Lisa Hickey, CEO of Good Men Media. "The CPMs slowly go down," she said, using industry shorthand for the price advertisers pay for every thousand views on a site. "The number of ads we have to put on the site to break even goes up. It's a balancing act that doesn't get us to where we need to go."
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
[THESUN.CO.UK] A PROSTITUTE in Zim-bob-we 'died' during a hotel romp with a client - only to come back to life as her body was being put in a coffin.
[An Nahar] An eccentric Australian mining magnate who is building a replica of the ill-fated Titanic on Saturday unveiled his latest scheme -- a park of giant robotic dinosaurs.
Big depositors in Cyprus's largest bank stand to lose far more than initially feared under a European Union rescue package to save the island from bankruptcy, a source with direct knowledge of the terms said on Friday.
[Pak Daily Times] Rawalpindi Police have 
[An Nahar] A classic Philadelphia cheesesteak restaurant is changing its name after almost seven decades from "Chink's" because of fear of causing racial offense.
