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Group claims abduction of Fox News journalists
Today's Headlines
Headline Comments [Views]
Page 3: Non-WoT
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Page 2: WoT Background
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-Short Attention Span Theater-
2 Egyptians tunnel under EU borders with shoehorns
Two Egyptian men are awaiting trial in Russia after several attempts to burrow their way under various European borders using nothing but shoehorns.

The men - both believed to be in their 20s - started in Belarus and dug a tunnel under the border with Poland.
But once in Poland, they lost their way, ending up where they started - in front of barbed wire.
Thinking they were now looking across the German border, the pair did the trick again.
But instead of getting to Germany, they ended up back in Belarus.
Minutes later, the two men were arrested by Belorussian border guards and later sentenced to 10 days in jail.

Belarus is separated from Europe by kilometres of barbed wire, guard towers, automated sirens and powerful search lights.
Prosecutors say the would-be migrants did not go for the easy option of using a spade - apparently, they thought buying one in a shop would immediately give the game away.
The two Egyptian men travelled to Belarus from neighbouring Russia where they arrived on tourist visas a few months ago

But even the prison term did not stop the pair.

When Belorussian authorities released the men and put them on a train back to Moscow, the officials were hoping that the Egyptians would never return.
But the two men got off the train hundreds of miles away from the Russian capital and decided to have another go.
This time, they chose the border between Russia and Ukraine as their starting point.
But the men clearly ran out of luck. Russian border guards arrested the Egyptians long before they got anywhere near Ukraine.

"I know it all sounds like a really bad joke," Evgeny Petrov from the Bryansk regional prosecutor's office told the BBC.
"But we've checked the story time and again, and it seems to be true! I must say, this is the weirdest way of illegally crossing the border I've ever come across," Mr Petrov said.
The migrants are now in pre-trial detention in Russia, expecting a legal hearing.
If convicted, they will have to pay a fine, and will then be extradited back to Egypt.
This time, police officers will probably escort them all the way to the departure gates of Moscow's Sheremetyevo international airport.
Posted by: john || 08/23/2006 19:55 || Comments || Link || [5 views] Top|| File under:

#1  genius!
Posted by: Frank G || 08/23/2006 23:04 Comments || Top||

#2  ROFL!!!

Was it Lucky who said they were happiest when burrowing?

LOL. Best story of the day.
Posted by: flyover || 08/23/2006 23:13 Comments || Top||


Founder of National Lampoon Dies at 59
Robert K. Hoffman, one of three founders of the irreverent National Lampoon magazine, has died. He was 59. Hoffman, a noted Dallas philanthropist, died Sunday at an area hospital. He had been suffering from leukemia since December, according to his family.

He was a co-founder and managing editor of the humorous National Lampoon, spawned from the Harvard Lampoon, created while he was a student at the university. Hoffman graduated cum laude in 1970 and received an MBA from Harvard Business School.

The magazine spun off successful films, the best known being "Animal House." "National Lampoon never would have happened, and none of the things that came out of it would have happened, without Robert," Henry Beard, one of the other co-founders of the magazine, said in Tuesday's editions of The Dallas Morning News. "He had an exceptional pair of talents - he was extremely smart, and utterly fearless." The third founder, Doug Kenney, died in the early 1980s.

Hoffman and his partners sold their interest in National Lampoon in 1975. He continued to serve as a trustee of the Harvard Lampoon. Hoffman was named one of Business Week magazine's top 50 philanthropists for 2005.

A longtime art collector, he and his wife, Marguerite, in March gave 224 art objects valued at $150 million to the Dallas Museum of Art. "I now realize the only effective method to travel and connect across time and space is art," Hoffman said in a speech he had a friend read at a March luncheon honoring the couple for their civic contributions.

Survivors include his wife, three daughters, his mother and a brother.
Posted by: ryuge || 08/23/2006 06:54 || Comments || Link || [1 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Sad, I'll get the mourning dynamite.
Posted by: Uncle Mike || 08/23/2006 7:47 Comments || Top||

#2  I read NL religiously as a kid.
Posted by: Penguin || 08/23/2006 10:41 Comments || Top||

#3  me too
Posted by: Frank G || 08/23/2006 11:18 Comments || Top||

#4  Did you send them a picture of your girlfriend naked with a bucket over her head?
Posted by: Fred || 08/23/2006 12:59 Comments || Top||

#5  It was just the funniest thing I've ever read. I remember a set of pictures of the Kennedy men. Under old man Joe's photo they had the caption "Facist Asshole" under the sons they had "Dead", "Dead", "Dead", "A Bum".
Still makes me laugh thinking about it. I wish they had all the issues online.
Posted by: remoteman || 08/23/2006 14:40 Comments || Top||


Africa Subsaharan
Gunmen seize Russian oil tanker off Sierra Leone
MOSCOW - Unidentified gunmen seized a Russian oil tanker and 20 crew off the coast of Sierra Leone and are holding the vessel in the Guinean capital Conakry, Russian rescue officials said on Tuesday. The Luchegorsk refuelling tanker was sailing in Sierra Leone’s economic zone in the Atlantic Ocean when it was boarded by ten men armed with automatic rifles and dressed in black, the Itar-Tass news agency reported.

They accused the captain of entering a foreign economic zone without authorization, impounded shipping documents and the crew’s passports and demanded 20,000 US dollars in cash. The tanker and its crew of 19 Russians and 1 Chinese interpreter was then taken to Conakry where at least three of the gunmen remained on board.

The Maritime Shipping Company described the seizure as “piracy” and responded by deploying guards near the moored ship. Russian diplomats were investigating the incident.

The 97-metre, 3,086-ton Luchegorsk is used to fuel fishing boats in the Atlantic.

Its detention was reportedly the second attack on the company’s vessels this year. In May, a group of heavily armed men boarded a tanker off Conakry and extorted 3,000 dollars from the crew before leaving.
Posted by: Steve White || 08/23/2006 00:00 || Comments || Link || [2 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Oh shit!

I'm fresh out of sympathy!
Posted by: bigjim-ky || 08/23/2006 7:14 Comments || Top||


Diplos caught in Congo crossfire
Gun battles between forces loyal to Congo's president, Joseph Kabila, and those of his main election rival, Jean-Pierre Bemba, broke out for a second day yesterday, with heavy fire reported outside the latter's home as he met senior foreign diplomats inside. A British envoy and William Swing, the head of the United Nations' 17,500-strong peacekeeping mission, were among those in Mr Bemba's residence in the capital, Kinshasa, the UN said. The UN spokesman, Jean-Tobias Okala, said all the envoys were safe after 150 UN troops in 20 armoured personnel carriers took them from Mr Bemba's home hours after they arrived for a meeting. Mr Bemba's political party said his rival's guards had attacked the house in the north-east of the city, drawing return fire, but not before Mr Bemba's helicopter had caught fire inside the compound.
Um. The helo "caught fire." Okaaaaaay...
A military official confirmed that Mr Kabila's special presidential guards had been battling members of the military drawn from Mr Bemba's insurgent ranks for a second day. He claimed Mr Bemba's guards provoked the battle. Mr Kabila, 35, failed to win an outright majority after the first round of Congo's historic elections on 30 July - he had 45 per cent of the vote against Mr Bemba's 20 per cent - but he called the results "a great victory" as the country braced itself for a run-off between the two men on 29 October. The 31 other candidates were eliminated after the first round. The president appeared on television late on Sunday to thank voters and call for calm after the evening's violence. "To all of you who chose me, I say thank you ... it's a great victory," he said.

Congo's first elections in more than four decades are meant to select a legitimate leader to knit together the country's 58 million people and end years of corrupt rule and war that have roiled this vast nation and wider Central Africa. Kofi Annan, the UN secretary-general, whose peacekeeping troops are helping to oversee the voting process, hailed the elections as "a historic milestone in the peace process in the country". He urged the Congolese parties and candidates to "abide by the electoral law in the resolution of any disputes related to the electoral process" and "to accept and respect the final results of the elections".
Continued on Page 49
Posted by: Seafarious || 08/23/2006 00:00 || Comments || Link || [1 views] Top|| File under:


Britain
Prison Officers use Qur’an as skis
HT Tim Blair Two prison officers based at scandal-hit Feltham Young Offenders’ Institution are under investigation over claims they strapped copies of the Qur’an to their feet to use as skis in what they called the Muslim Olympics.
The officers face the dismissal if the allegations are confirmed. The pair have been suspended on full pay after fellow officer reported them to the institution’s governor while the claims are investigated.
The rest is PC victimology blather.
Posted by: phil_b || 08/23/2006 05:15 || Comments || Link || [4 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Danger Will Robinson! People with a sense of humor detected. Danger! Danger!
Posted by: Zenster || 08/23/2006 5:35 Comments || Top||

#2  Gee, I wonder why they had this idea??? Could it be that muslims are over-representated among their "guests", and are notorious for making demands regarding their "sensibilities", all the while being an otherwise very difficult population to manage???...

Nah, it couldn't be... everybody knows muslims are a peaceful, law-abiding, respectful segment of european populations.
Posted by: anonymous5089 || 08/23/2006 7:04 Comments || Top||

#3  I think it is physically impossible to ski using Korans.

It might be possible to skate however.
Posted by: mhw || 08/23/2006 7:08 Comments || Top||

#4  What would happen if they used two copies of Dianetics?
Posted by: bigjim-ky || 08/23/2006 7:18 Comments || Top||

#5  Poisonous snakes in your mailbox, as with Synanon a while back.
Posted by: lotp || 08/23/2006 7:39 Comments || Top||

#6  The pair have been suspended on full pay So all I have to do for a paid vacation is try to ski on the Koran? Cool!
Posted by: 49 Pan || 08/23/2006 8:17 Comments || Top||

#7  This is all just science. The bullshit oozing from the pages of the Koran contains traces of oily residue. The viscosity of this residue makes it an effective lubricant, this reducing the drag coefficient between the pages and the floor. The weight of the prison guards pressing on the book also increases the amount of bullshit residue exuded from the pages, further reducing friction. Add a little forward momentum on a hard surface, and you have 'one heck of a ride'.
Posted by: mcsegeek1 || 08/23/2006 9:03 Comments || Top||

#8  and I hear they flushed them down the toilet after they were done skiing on them.

Sheesh - and the MSM is running with this before it is confirmed? Journalists are no longer what we once considered to be journalists, reporters of facts. Now they are just sensation whores.
Posted by: Jigum Hupolumble7870 || 08/23/2006 10:54 Comments || Top||

#9  Hahahahah ! Other than wiping your ass with it, an outstanding use of the blather from Muhamass. Where is the f**king troll from London ? See this fool ? This is what the Brits think about you scumbags.
Posted by: SOP35/Rat || 08/23/2006 11:29 Comments || Top||

#10  Too funny. After I read my Koran, I ripped it up, burned it, dumped the ashes in the back yard, and pissed on it. But these officers were truely more inventive. They may have found a practical use. Promote them immediately.
Posted by: newc || 08/23/2006 12:40 Comments || Top||

#11  Not bright, a book, no matter what its contents does not make for a very good pair of skies as the binding will roll and the pages will tear and you'll bite very quickly.

A book is much better when used as toilet paper.
Posted by: rjschwarz || 08/23/2006 15:28 Comments || Top||

#12  This is all just science. The bullshit oozing from the pages of the Koran contains traces of oily residue. The viscosity of this residue makes it an effective lubricant, this reducing the drag coefficient between the pages and the floor. The weight of the prison guards pressing on the book also increases the amount of bullshit residue exuded from the pages, further reducing friction. Add a little forward momentum on a hard surface, and you have 'one heck of a ride'.

Why is it that the word "tribology" springs to mind? Must have something to do with the bullshit's actual source.
Posted by: Zenster || 08/23/2006 20:54 Comments || Top||

#13  Well, you could make a hat, or a broach, or a pterodactyl....
Posted by: Mark E. || 08/23/2006 23:06 Comments || Top||


Caribbean-Latin America
Newest Mexican Theme Park....Pretend to be Illegal for the Night
On a misty, moonless night, the group scurried down the canyon wall, their feet slipping in the ankle-high mud. The sirens grew louder as their guide, clad in a ski mask and known only as Poncho, urged them to run faster. "Hurry up! The Border Patrol is coming!" A couple in matching designer tennis outfits loped awkwardly along, the boyfriend clutching a digital video camera and struggling to keep the pop-out screen steady.

The 20 or so people fleeing the Border Patrol aren't undocumented immigrants - they're tourists about 700 miles from the border. Most are well-heeled professionals more likely to travel to the United States in an airplane than on foot. They've each paid 150 pesos - about $15 - for what is perhaps Mexico's strangest tourist attraction: A night as an illegal immigrant crossing the Rio Grande. Advertising for the mock journey, which takes place at a nature park in the central state of Hidalgo, tells the pretend immigrants to "Make fun of the Border Patrol just like our government does!" and to "Cross the Border as an Extreme Sport!"

As craven as the advertising sounds, the organizers say they are trying to build empathy for migrants by putting people in their shoes.

And the organizers, members of a Hnahnu (pronounced nyah-nyoo like Mork from Ork) indigenous community, speak from experience. Leaders estimate as many as 90 percent of the 2,500-person community have made the journey to the United States, most ending up in the boomtown of Las Vegas.
Can't wait for them to claim the right to form a reservation, and to open their own casino....ah, the American dream....
The trip also seeks to educate participants on Hnahnu culture and represents a source of income for the community, leaders said. The Mexican government helped finance the creation of the Eco Alberto nature park, which is communally-owned.

Until almost 2 a.m., the group scaled walls, hid in tunnels, jumped on the back of pickup trucks and followed a path through a cornfield. The trip ended with a blindfolded ride to a Hnahnu holy place where Poncho, whose real name is Alfonso Martinez Flores, asked the group for more money to be more honest and sincere in their lives.

Word of the tourist attraction has provoked much head scratching among immigrant advocates in the United States and real life immigrants who have made the trek across the border. Some called the risk-free adrenaline rush insulting. Others said it could improve the often-conflicted attitudes of Mexicans toward their compatriots who migrate.

"Anything that encourages more of our citizens to leave and send back dollars raises awareness in Mexico of the plight of undocumented immigrants is welcome," said Jorge Bustamante, special Mexican representative to the United Nations for human rights of migrants. "But the indifference is very strong, and it's greater as you ascend in social class."
"Not to mention the rich ones living large back here in Mexico are less likely to leave and send back money! We need dollars, not pesos, dammit!!"
The trip starts with a rousing rendition of the Mexican national anthem and a meandering speech by Poncho, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Mexican Zapatisa rebel leader Subcomandante Marcos, in his black ski mask. Poncho tells his charges that they will not only be retracing the steps of migrants, but embarking on a personal spiritual journey.
So it's not simulated lawbreaking, it's a New Age retreat?
"Through this we are going to create the bonds of brotherhood that we've forgotten as a people," he says.

As the group sets off down the muddy road, high-pitched sirens pierce the night and the group begins the first of what will be many forced gallops through the woods. Coming into a clearing, the group crouches down as Hnahnu community members pretending to be U.S. Border Patrol agents shine a spotlight.

The mock agents try to lure the people out with food and water and warn them of the dangers of the desert. "We're here to help you," they call out in accented English.
Posted by: Swamp Blondie || 08/23/2006 03:09 || Comments || Link || [2 views] Top|| File under:

#1  "Through this we are going to create the bonds of brotherhood that we've forgotten as a people," he says.

So the one thing that unites all Mexicans is a burning desire to get the hell out of Mexico? How nice.

I see a franchise here. The Cindy Sheehan crowd would sign up. And how about a simulated night in a crack house, followed by a simulated bust and a simulated night in jail, complete with simulated sexual assault by a giant simulated cell mate?

Or, spend a wild night of simulated car-jacking, complete with a simulated toddler to run over.

All in the name of greater empathy with the downtrodden, of course.

There's money in this, for someone with no shame.
Posted by: Angie Schultz || 08/23/2006 11:35 Comments || Top||

#2  how quaint, the privillaged "Mexicans" going to visit the "other half" ( more like the other 99%),
and see what life is like for them as they escape The Failed Country that these same aristocrats ancestors set up as a Nation of the Privillaged.
Mexico is just that , mexico...
Posted by: bk || 08/23/2006 12:23 Comments || Top||


Fifth Column
Air America flagship station going all-Gospel
Glenn Dryfoos at the Brothers Judd blog.

The following item appears in a trade publication:

Air America will switch its flagship station, WLIB (1190 AM), to a 24/7 black gospel music station as of September 1. The station, under its new "Praise and Inspiration" format, will air only gospel music for its first month and then intersperse the format with new hosts. WLIB chose this format over two others, oldies and country.

I thought the Air America types hated religion....oh well, you've got to pay the bills....

All that praise and worship; it'll send the moonbats 'round the bend for sure.
Posted by: Mike || 08/23/2006 16:49 || Comments || Link || [4 views] Top|| File under:

#1  "I thought the Air America types hated religion...."

I believe "black gospel" is viewed more as a cultural curiousity than a religion. Which is why movies and such seem to concentrate more on the dancing and "acting-up" than on the actual preaching.
Posted by: Fordesque || 08/23/2006 22:59 Comments || Top||


Home Front: WoT
US to end "Catch and Release"

Nearly all non-Mexican illegal immigrants caught sneaking into the United States are being held until they can be returned to their home countries, the Bush administration said Wednesday. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said this marks the end of the so-called "catch-and-release" policy that for years helped illegal immigrants remain in the United States unhindered.

The new policy, dubbed "catch-and-detain" generally does not apply to Mexicans who are almost immediately returned to Mexico after being stopped by Border Patrol agents. "Although we're not ready to declare victory – we've got a lot more work to do – it is encouraging and it is something that ought to inspire us to continue to push forward," Chertoff told reporters in Washington.

He credited the crackdown, aided this summer by National Guard troops, with deterring thousands of immigrants from trying to illegally enter the U.S. over the southwest border. Border Patrol data provided Wednesday shows a drop of about 20,000 illegal immigrants caught crossing from Mexico this summer, compared to last year.
Posted by: Jackal || 08/23/2006 18:42 || Comments || Link || [2 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Oh, I see. The "Mexican" illegal immigrants caught sneaking in still fall under the "catch and releaase" program. How thoughtful. The fence Michael, how is the fence coming?
Posted by: Besoeker || 08/23/2006 19:03 Comments || Top||

#2  f*ck
Posted by: Frank G || 08/23/2006 23:05 Comments || Top||


India-Pakistan
‘One-dish’ meal of six items allowed at weddings: Parliament approves bill
ISLAMABAD, Aug 22: In a rare show of urgency and consensus in one house, both houses of parliament passed a private bill on Tuesday to allow what the draft called ‘one-dish’ — but actually up to six-items — meals at wedding ceremonies.

It was the first private members’ bill passed by the present parliament and will become law after a formal, mandatory consent by President Gen Pervez Musharraf.

A near unanimity in the National Assembly, where the bill originated, came only a day after chaos rocked the house when the government tabled a controversial bill seeking to protect women from misuse of Islamic Hudood laws and precedes potentially more stormy proceedings after the opposition brings a no-confidence move against Prime Minister Shaukat Aziz on Wednesday.

Immediately after it was passed, the government took the Marriage Functions (prohibition of ostentatious displays and wasteful expenses (Amendment) Bill to the Senate, which endorsed it without debate when the opposition was boycotting the house to protest on another issue.

The bill, authored by two National Assembly members of the Muttahida Majlis-i-Amal (MMA) alliance, had been lying on the house agenda since January.

But it suddenly won an unexpected support from the treasury benches in early June after the Supreme Court ordered a strict enforcement of the Marriage Functions (prohibition of ostentatious displays and wasteful expenses) Ordinance 2000 that allowed only hot and cold drinks at wedding ceremonies and cancelled a Punjab provincial law that allowed one-dish meals.

The original draft, submitted by MMA members from Karachi Mohammad Laeeque Khan and Mohammad Hussain Mehanti had proposed provision for serving an unexplained ‘one dish’ meal in addition to hot and cold drinks.

But the house’s Standing Committee on Religious Affairs, Zakat and Ushr defined the ‘one dish’ to mean four items: one salan (curry), roti, rice and one sweet dish, which actually comes to a total of six items including hot and cold drinks.

The bill was taken up for discussion on August 8 — the first private members’ day of the present session of the National Assembly — when Speaker Chaudhry Amir Hussain deferred further debate after the main ruling and opposition parties supported the move, but some of their members voiced concern that it would deprive the poor an excuse to escape what had traditionally become compulsory expenses on large meals.

During the brief debate on Tuesday, when the bill was taken up again, Raja Pervez Ashraf, secretary-general of the People’s Party Parliamentarians, and Rai Mansab Ali and Mehnaz Rafi of the ruling Pakistan Muslim League (PML) supported the move as being in conformity with the local traditions and Islamic injunctions about serving meals at weddings and beneficial for the poultry industry and commercial wedding halls.

The sole discordant voice came from PML’s Farooq Amjad Mir who said passing the bill would mean submitting to those who violated the earlier law and wishes of the poultry industry rather than of the common man.

The bill was not on the Senate agenda for the day, but immediately after the NA vote, Law and Justice Minister Mohammad Wasi Zafar took it to the upper house
Posted by: john || 08/23/2006 14:47 || Comments || Link || [9 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Some context for the above report

Pakistan's Supreme Court has upheld a ban on serving food at wedding receptions held in public places.

The court ruled the ban was not against Islamic teachings and should remain in force as it discourages extravagant displays of wealth.

The ban on serving food at wedding functions held in public places was imposed by the government in 1997.

The Supreme Court also described the practice of giving dowry by the bride's family as an evil and exploitative custom, and said the state should do everything to stop it.

The court bench then went a step further to criticise some of the most popular customs linked to South Asian weddings, including the colourful rituals of mayun and mehndi (where the bride is decorated and prepared for the wedding) and baraat (a procession by the groom's friends and family to the bride's house), which are dominated by dance and music.

The bench said these customs and even the giving of large dowries were all of Hindu origin and have nothing to do with the Islamic concept of marriage.

Describing them as social evils, the court said the state should take steps to eradicate them.
Posted by: john || 08/23/2006 15:01 Comments || Top||

#2  Whew! That's a relief.
Posted by: mcsegeek1 || 08/23/2006 15:38 Comments || Top||

#3  I went to a Hindu wedding (in the US). It was loads of fun.
Posted by: Seafarious || 08/23/2006 15:53 Comments || Top||

#4  The islamization of curricula continues. If these kids had been educated in a madrassa, instead of the top english medium private schools and the best university in Pakistan, they could hardly be less intolerant...

From a report on the graduating class of Punjab University...

"Top scorers in BA/BSc Annual Examination 2006 slammed Punjab University’s (PU) decision to hire the National Testing Service (NTS) for entry tests. They were dissatisfied with Pakistan’s political system and demanded that Islamic law be implemented in the country.

Shahzadul Haq, who stood first in BA, condemned dictatorship and said a democratic government ‘based on Islamic values’ was inevitable for Pakistan’s development.

Saba Arooj, who stood second in BA, said she did not support secularism. Pakistan should have Islamic law, she said, because the country was made in the name of Islam.

Mehwish Rashid, who secured the third position in BA slammed the entry test system and said it should be abolished. She called for the implementation of Islamic law in the country.

Ayesha Zahid, who stood first in BSc, also demanded the implementation of Islamic law. She said she would take the PU vice chancellor’s offer of free education, and would become a physicist after a PhD in physics.

Saleha Qayyum (third position in BSc) said she had proved that it was possible to score well without taking tuition. She demanded fundamental changes in the examination system. She said she had no interest in politics but wanted to spend her life in line with the teachings of Islam. Saleha said she wanted to be a mathematician in future."

Posted by: john || 08/23/2006 16:03 Comments || Top||

#5  So the legislative branch just told the judiciary to jump, eh?

They like having food w/a celebration.
Posted by: anonymous2u || 08/23/2006 16:20 Comments || Top||

#6  "I went to a Hindu wedding (in the US). It was loads of fun."

I was in a Hindu wedding (groom) in New Delhi, it was loooooooong (three days, which is short by Indian standards)and baffling! I just did as I was told.
Posted by: Analog Roam || 08/23/2006 19:21 Comments || Top||


Science & Technology
Refurbishment Of Airborne Laser's Megawatt-Class Laser
Posted by: 3dc || 08/23/2006 01:43 || Comments || Link || [3 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Why do they need so much power just to vaporize something like the head of a rogue nation while giving an outdoor speech?
Posted by: gorb || 08/23/2006 2:53 Comments || Top||

#2  Why do they need so much power just to vaporize something like the head of a rogue nation while giving an outdoor speech?

It ensures that all of the target's DNA is thoroughly cooked off to prevent any unwanted post-mortem cloning.
Posted by: Zenster || 08/23/2006 5:21 Comments || Top||

#3  Now we need a satellite platform to host the Gen II lasers.
Posted by: bigjim-ky || 08/23/2006 7:13 Comments || Top||

#4  What makes you think we don't have one already?
Posted by: Chuck Simmins || 08/23/2006 13:50 Comments || Top||

#5  Another proud day here at NG.
Posted by: mcsegeek1 || 08/23/2006 14:30 Comments || Top||

#6  I just want one to fill my house with popcorn.
Posted by: Iblis || 08/23/2006 14:30 Comments || Top||

#7  space pop corn..heh!
Posted by: RD || 08/23/2006 22:12 Comments || Top||


Syria-Lebanon-Iran
The Million Dollar Canopy Caper
August 23, 2006: Modern combat aircraft are built to take damage, but repairing that damage is very expensive. This is the case even when you were trying your best to avoid damage. Case in point is the incident last April when a new F-22 fighter encountered a problem with the cockpit canopy. It would not open. And the pilot was still inside. After over four hours of air force and contractor technicians fussing with the mechanical, electronic and software aspects of the problem, to no avail, a couple of airmen with a chainsaw were called in. The cockpit canopy was made of 19mm thick polycarbonate. The chainsaw cut through it.
"Varoooooom varooooooom, braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Finally, after about five hours, the pilot was free. Then the bookkeepers got to work. Replacing the cut up canopy cost $286,000. But the most expensive damage done was to the special (stealthy) skin of the F-22. This was all scuffed up by the folks trying to get the pilot out. Scuffing this special, stealthy, material makes it less stealthy, and more likely to have the F-22 show up on enemy radar. So the scuffed portions of the aircraft exterior had to be replaced, at a cost of about a million dollars. Then there was the cost of the dozen or so air force and contractor personnel who labored for five hours on the problem. That cost about $10,000. Total cost for the stuck cockpit canopy, about $1.3 million. Not counting the cost of research and development work on making sure it doesn't happen again.
Posted by: Steve || 08/23/2006 13:56 || Comments || Link || [8 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Can't they get Lockheed Martin to pay for it? Sheesh, even my cheap car came with a 3 year warranty.
Posted by: mcsegeek1 || 08/23/2006 14:28 Comments || Top||

#2  yea you would think, for what 200 million plus at least a 5 yr warranty.
Posted by: djohn66 || 08/23/2006 14:37 Comments || Top||

#3  No mention that the reason the canopy wouldn't open was because some brilliant individual had used the wrong length of screw, which had worked slightly out of its hole.

The FOB was to replace every one of those screws in every aircraft.

N.B.: these may be ordinary screws, or they may be made of amazingly peculiar alloys.
Posted by: Anonymoose || 08/23/2006 16:14 Comments || Top||


Home Front: Culture Wars
New 'Survivor' A Race Among Races
(CBS) In just a couple of weeks, the new season of "Survivor" takes 20 castaways to the Cook Islands in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. They will be split into four tribes, but how they will do that is guaranteed to be a talking point. For the 13th installment of the series, producers have yet another controversial way to begin the game: 20 people, four tribes — each divided by race.

African-American Tribe:
Make-up artist, Rebecca Borman, 34, from Laurelton, N.Y.
Jazz musician and recording artist Sekou Bunch, 45, of Los Angeles
Nursing student Stephannie Favor, 35, of Columbia, S.C.
Retail salesman Nathan Gonzalez, 26, of Los Angeles
Sundra Oakley, 31, an actress from Los Angeles

Asian-American Tribe:
Nail salon manager Anh-Tuan "Cao Boi" Bui (pronounced Cowboy), 42, from Christianburg, Va.
Attorney Becky Lee, 28, of Washington, D.C.
Management consultant Yul Kwon, 31, of San Mateo, Calif.
Real estate agent Jenny Guzon-Bae, 36, of Lake Forest, Ill.
Fashion Director Brad Virata, 29, of Los Angeles

Hispanic Tribe:
Heavy metal guitarist Billy Garcia, 36, of New York
Professional volleyball player J.P. Calderon, 30, of Marina Del Rey, Calif.
Police officer Cristina Coria, 35, of Los Angeles
Waiter Oscar "Ozzy" Lusth, 25, of Venice, Calif.
Technology risk consultant Cecilia Mansilla, 29, of Oakland, Calif.

White Tribe:
Copier salesman Adam Gentry, 28, of San Diego, Calif.
Writer-producer Jonathan Penner, 44, of Los Angeles
Boxer-waitress Parvati Shallow, 23, of Los Angeles
Performer-roller girl Jessica Smith, 27, of Chico, Calif.
Pre-med student Candice Woodcock, 23, of Fayetteville, N.C.
When one of the African-American Tribe is voted off the island, will they blame Diebold and call Jesse Jackson to intervene?
Posted by: Steve || 08/23/2006 12:59 || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  What is a performer-roller girl?
Posted by: john || 08/23/2006 13:54 Comments || Top||

#2  I would put my money on the white tribe because they have a better balance of skills if the occupations account for anything.
Posted by: rjschwarz || 08/23/2006 15:26 Comments || Top||


Home Front Economy
A new approach to illegal workers: LA business owners sue for unfair competition
Business owners frustrated by lax enforcement of immigration laws are taking their fight to court, accusing competitors of hiring illegal workers to achieve an unfair advantage. The legal action is an attempt by business and anti-illegal-immigration groups to create an economic deterrent against hiring illegal employees.

In the first of a series of lawsuits, a temporary employment agency that supplies farm workers sued a grower and two competing companies on Monday. Similar cases claiming violations of federal anti-racketeering laws have yielded mixed results. The California lawsuit is thought to be the first based on a state's unfair-competition laws, legal analysts said.

Santa Monica, Calif.-based Global Horizons claimed in the lawsuit that Munger Brothers, a grower, hired illegal alien workers from Ayala Agricultural Services and J&A Contractors. All the defendants are based in California's farm-rich Central Valley. The suit claims that Munger Brothers had a contract with Global Horizons to provide more than 600 blueberry pickers this spring, but nixed the agreement so it could hire illegal aliens.
Continued on Page 49
Posted by: trailing wife || 08/23/2006 12:17 || Comments || Link || [3 views] Top|| File under:

#1  "unfair-competition laws"

That's good for keeping everyday Americans' wages up with cost of living in the US. If not, expect living standards to start dropping towards Mexico's. Won't that be scenic.
Posted by: Jules in the Hinterlands || 08/23/2006 12:46 Comments || Top||

#2  "It's to the point that doing business legally isn't worth it."

Because the US government refuses to enforce existing laws, principled businesses have to contemplate breaking current laws just to stay competitive. Perhaps surprisingly, it’s not the fear of apprehension that has prevented most from already making that decision. Their deliberate hesitation is due to ethics. Even if there were concerns of modest government enforcement, in most cases, the penalties would pale in comparison to their potential profits. Indeed, what’s driving ethical companies to comply with the regulations is their refusal to compromise their integrity. If the pending US Senate/Administration legislation on “Comprehensive Immigration Reform” passes in its current language listen for more and more businesses to say…“Well yes…techniquely it’s against the law but…”
Posted by: DepotGuy || 08/23/2006 15:12 Comments || Top||

#3  "If not, expect living standards to start dropping towards Mexico's"

I have been told that here in Los Angeles some 30 to 40 years ago, wages for janitors (who were predominantly black) were relatively good, or at least not poverty-level. I do not think that is the case today.
Posted by: Fordesque || 08/23/2006 23:04 Comments || Top||


Home Front: Culture Wars
Beloit College's Mindset List for 2010 Freshmen...Damn, I Feel Old Now!!
Just the top ten of 75...
Beloit College has released its latest “Mindset List,” to help academics understand what freshmen know — and what they don’t have a clue about. This list has been prepared each August since 1998 and past lists are available online. Here is this year’s list, for the Class of 2010:
1. The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union.
2. They have known only two presidents.
3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.
4. Manuel Noriega has always been in jail in the U.S.
5. They have grown up getting lost in “big boxes”.
6. There has always been only one Germany.
7. They have never heard anyone actually “ring it up” on a cash register.
8. They are wireless, yet always connected.
9. A stained blue dress is as famous to their generation as a third-rate burglary was to their parents’.
10. Thanks to pervasive head phones in the back seat, parents have always been able to speak freely in the front.
Posted by: Swamp Blondie || 08/23/2006 07:58 || Comments || Link || [3 views] Top|| File under:

#1  I love this list becasue it really makes one think about history and how we perceive the past ourselves. But in this case, number 9 will be number 1.
Posted by: Nimble Spemble || 08/23/2006 8:21 Comments || Top||

#2  How about "They can't find American states and cities or foreign countries on a map"?
Posted by: mcsegeek1 || 08/23/2006 8:57 Comments || Top||

#3  Don't be silly, mcsegeek1. They never could. But for the most part, neither can the rest of their age mates around the world.
Posted by: trailing wife || 08/23/2006 9:25 Comments || Top||

#4  When my grandparents were children, most people still got around on horse or by foot. Powered aircraft flight was unknown. Most of the US was not wired for electricity. Healthy people looked fat. The US Navy had actually gone to the other side of the world and come back.

The US was "bogged down in the quagmire" of a 14-year-long war in the Philippines.

Against Moslems.

When their grandparents, my grandparents' grandparents, were children, the US had finally built a ship big enough so that we could tell the Barbary Pirates to "bugger off".

Moslems, again.
Posted by: Anonymoose || 08/23/2006 9:37 Comments || Top||

#5  3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.

And this matters to them...how?

4. Manuel Noriega has always been in jail in the U.S.

Who? (I know who Noriega is, but they probably won't.)

5. They have grown up getting lost in “big boxes”.

Whuh?

7. They have never heard anyone actually “ring it up” on a cash register.

They've never dialed a telephone, either.

9. A stained blue dress is as famous to their generation as a third-rate burglary was to their parents’.

I gotta tell ya, I vaguely knew what the whole Watergate thing was about, but I really wasn't paying that much attention. And I paid far more attention than most kids my age. Of course, Watergate wasn't about sex, either. That might make a difference.
Posted by: Angie Schultz || 08/23/2006 11:12 Comments || Top||

#6  Swamp Blondie:

You graduate from Beloit eh?
Posted by: Besoeker || 08/23/2006 11:15 Comments || Top||

#7  Nope, Besoeker, Arizona State University. I don't even know where Beloit is. ;) (Wisconsin, right?)
Posted by: Swamp Blondie || 08/23/2006 11:57 Comments || Top||

#8  Yep, Beloit be in Wisconsin. Figured you for a Sun Devil all along.
Posted by: Besoeker || 08/23/2006 15:58 Comments || Top||

#9  A couple summers ago, I was riding in a car with my buddy Dan and his oldest boy Andy, who's best friends with my oldest. Dan mentioned that his first job was delivering telegrams in downtown Cleveland.

Andy, innocent as newfallen snow, asks, "What's a telegram?"

"It's prehistoric e-mail."

"Oh."
Posted by: Mike || 08/23/2006 23:12 Comments || Top||

#10  LOL, Mike. God that makes me feel old.

Here's something you may enjoy:

History's Unsent Telegrams

H/T to .com for turning me on to this site's killer graphics. Enjoy.
Posted by: flyover || 08/23/2006 23:25 Comments || Top||



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Two weeks of WOT
Wed 2006-08-23
  Group claims abduction of Fox News journalists
Tue 2006-08-22
  Iran ready to talk interminably
Mon 2006-08-21
  Iran Denies Inspectors Access to Site
Sun 2006-08-20
  Annan: UN won't 'wage war' in Lebanon
Sat 2006-08-19
  Lebanese Army memo: stand with HizbAllah
Fri 2006-08-18
  Frenchies Throw U.N Peacekeeping Plans Into Disarray
Thu 2006-08-17
  Lebanese Army Moves South
Wed 2006-08-16
  Leb contorts, obfuscates over Hezbollah disarmament
Tue 2006-08-15
  Assad: We’ll liberate Golan Heights
Mon 2006-08-14
  Hizbullah distributes Leaflets claiming victory
Sun 2006-08-13
  Lebanese Cabinet Approves Cease-Fire
Sat 2006-08-12
  Israeli troops reach the Litani River
Fri 2006-08-11
  ‘Quake money’ used to finance UK plane bombing plot
Thu 2006-08-10
  "Plot to blow up planes" foiled in UK. We hope.
Wed 2006-08-09
  Israel shakes up Leb front leadership


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